My first Hangover

Alcohol always aroused curiosity in me. It’s supposed to be a depressant. Then why do people feel elated after drinking it? And furthermore, what’s  so strong about this stuff? I wanted to know. I wanted to know badly. So, I bought a beer for the first time in my life but it turned to be farce! I did not get anywhere near drunk! I realised I needed more alcohol to get to the “drunk” drunk state I had seen people in.Well, mainly Charlie Sheen ;) So the next day I bought a vodka and beer bottle to satiate my curiosity. The first time I drank vodka was neat. And it burnt my insides to the core! It repelled me. So did the beer. But I had to experience. I continued. Mixing small quantities with coke, I kept on drinking the ghastly cocktail until all of it was over. Simultaneously I chugged down on the beer. It took 15 minutes for the effects to kick in. Slight lightheadedness, nothing more. Hell  I could even walk on a rope in that state! So my experiment had failed. I came to the conclusion that people were absolutely bonkers! They acted being drunk! ;) I had not been completely wrong. Oops. I digress. AS had been an integral part of all this madness. She was fascinated by my escapade and called me up in the meanwhile. I was supposed to save some vodka for her. She was to drop by later that night. Now, I had been out of booze. So, I decided to buy me some more. I set out in my car. I had anticipated some drunk madness driving but nothing really happened. I was still driving far better than these novice drivers do. I felt disappointed. So, I was back with 3 more vodkas and 4 more beers. I had more booze to experiment with. Well, it took me an hour to finish all the beer bottles and one of the vodkas. Now that was when the real effects kicked in. I drank some more vodka in shots and after that no one knows what went by.

   I woke up in the morning at around 10, shirtless and on my dining table! But that wasn’t my concern. I felt nauseated and so tired. My stomach felt funny! I gathered myself up and looked around the house. And it was a disaster! I had puked almost everywhere! On my feet, on the armchair. On the floors, on the walls, just about everywhere! The smell in the house was so pungent, I felt puking some more but there was nothing inside of me. I checked for my phone. And god! It was also such a disaster. My balance went down from 500 to just 75 in just one night. I had called some of classmates. Not to mention that they were girls. And I didn’t remember a thing I had talked about! Still don’t. The three girls whom I called still maintain that I did not call them that night! I guess they are probably right. Because their behaviour is now more affectionate towards me. That can’t happen when you talk drunk? I had send RIP messages to almost all my contact list and jibber jabber to AS! I could make out my drunkenness by reading some of that jibber jabber! Apart from all this everything else was pretty normal except for one weird thing. It’s a shameful thing but I’ll write it down anyway. I, till date haven’t found my underwear from that night. I found my T-shirt in the pot but not my underwear and I am positive I had been wearing it that day :P Well, what do you know..alcohol! Gets the best of you ;)

Needless to say that was the highest amount of alcohol I had consumed and I don’t plan on repeating that misadventure anytime soon. 3 vodkas and 4 beers is a real heavy consumption by the standards of even regular drinkers. I am glad I didn’t torch my house down that day. And me, well, I got away with some minor bruises on hands and feet. I found two empty broken beer bottles. Must’ve had cut myself with the glass pieces.

So my dear friends, you can either be a fool to try this experiment of mine with yourself too or be intelligent and avoid alcohol by all means. It’s not a cool thing to drink and it is definitely injurious to health. If you do drink it, do it with someone who remains sober. You never know when your adventure becomes a misadventure ;)

A guide to drinking for the first timers

If you are not a drinker and want to start drinking, you have come to the right place. Well, I am going to spare you the jibber jabber of I am not one of those promoting the use of alcohol but you should bear in mind that alcohol is indeed injurious to health. You’ll see how.

Now there are different types of liquors available in the market. There is beer, vodka, rum, whiskey and so forth. Also, each one has many different brands. And each brand has its own price. If you are a beginner or maybe let’s just say you want to experiment then I would recommend just cheap alcohol, for two reasons mainly a) you will not be able to drink all of it in the first time. B) it won’t hurt much to your pockets if you leave the liquor anyway. The main difference between the pricey ones and cheap ones is basically of distillation or how much pure the liquor is. But as a lay man you will just notice that cheap liquors give a harsher burning sensation than the expensive ones. And by expensive I mean really really expensive. A premium whiskey bottle costs anywhere between Rs 4000 and Rs 10000. Even that is cheap for some. Anyways, moving on, whiskey is not for the first timers. You can do beer but that just tastes yak! So bitter that you’ll just curse yourself for buying it. You could could’ve bought a coke and lived happily. And beer doesn’t get you drunk. With just 6-8% alcohol content, it will take approximately 6-7 of them (650 ml bottles) to reach the “Stupid drunk” point. And again, if you’re experimenting for the first time, you will probably find it difficult to gulp down even one sip. But if you do want to try a beer I would recommend Kingfisher or Fosters. These bottles will cost you around Rs200 and look classy in your refrigerator ;)  Do check the alcohol content in them. Like Kingfisher blue only has 6% alcohol content in it. A haywards 5000 will have 8%. Haywards is a cheap beer and will cost you only 100 to 150 bucks. The less the alcohol content the less the burning sensation when you drink it. And it drinking even one to two bottles of beer (650 ml bottles) will not do much good. It might come into effect if you drink all of it in span of 2 minutes. Yeah, like you drink water! Then it is sure going to give you a kick. But even heavy drinkers don’t have that kind of capacity to drink it all at once. That’s why in some Hollywood movies you’ll find that they have a beer drinking competition.

Going further, if you have to get real drunk, and I mean “real” real drunk, you should probably take vodka or rum. 180 ml bottles or quarter as it is usually said will get you to that “stupid” drunk stage. I would probably go for vodka because rum can’t be handled by all ;) Well, there is that and also the fact how your body would react to different types of liquors. So it’s best to stay with clear liquors. By clear I mean which do not have any colour. So vodka is your best option. Vodka also has many brands. A good vodka is always from a Russian brand. Well, Vodka originated in Russia so that makes sense. Vodka can be cheap but it really is a risk to go for the cheap ones. Cheap vodkas will make you suffer like never before. But not all cheap vodkas are bad. You can go for Smirnoff’s or seagram’s vodkas. They are cheap but are pretty safe otherwise. A 180 ml bottle will cost around Rs 200-Rs 300. Vodkas come in many different flavours. Orange is the most common. But you don’t have to drink it in shots. By shots it means 20-25 ml plain vodka drunk without mixing. It is a chivalrous task to take shots. 4 shots will pass you out completely. So, shots aren’t for first timers. Tequila shots are like that. And please don’t think your friends are cool if they are having tequila shots at a party. Because tequila like other liquors has different qualities and cheap tequila can make you very, very sick! And with 40% alcohol content in it, you will definitely puke! But anyways if you like to have tequila just go for 100% de agave rather than 51%.Tequila is made by fermentation of agave plant and by 100% de agave we mean, it is all made by agave plant only. There are no additives. It will be best to go for US or Mexican brands. It is quite expensive and mainly a party thing. Coming back to vodka, the best one is a plain vodka. The best way to drink it is mixing with a soft drink like Coca Cola. 20-30 ml of vodka is good with 100 ml – 150 ml of coke. Depends on your tolerance actually. But if you’re still not able to drink it, pour some more coke till the time you find your drink ”drinkable”.  Keep doing this till you finish the vodka quarter. And in 15-20 minutes you will be “jhuming” on your heels. This one gets you stupid drunk. But again you have to do it very fast. Only in a span of 20-30 minutes. If you keep drinking slowly like in a span of an hour or so, it’s the drunkness wouldn’t be so drunk ;)

Well, that’s all about drinking for first timers. You have a large scope ahead of you. Just dip in your nose and you will see :P

And I forgot to mention about The hangover. You are going to wake up feeling fatigued and restless. Nauseated and feeling funny. Don't get scared it's just your body trying to get rid of alcohol. Drink water. And keep drinking it for the rest of the day. 

Don't drink and drive and definitely switch off your mobile before drinking. You never know who do you call.

P.S I wrote this article because I wanted something like this guide to drinking when I wanted to try by myself. But I couldn’t find any kind article on the net. Hence, this.

On This Day, I give this world _____

Hello my fellow Earthians! Hope you're enjoying your day with that loved one of yours who will eventually suck the life out of you slowly and gradually :P Whatever, I had been missing on my blog posts for so much time but what the hell! I am even missing out on my assignments, so much that I've not gone to the college for a couple of weeks now, so missing out on blog posts seems fair enough. Even I, myself don't know what's wrong but I've entered into a shell of some sorts. In which I just like to remain silent and do nothing. Literally nothing. It's totally making me go bonkers! 

Speaking of going bonkers, Valentine's day's here!

-Hey! What's the connection? ;\

All throughout the year, I get to witness hundreds of facebook posts and whatspp statuses of my friends who are either on cloud 9 with their love or going all berserk with those crappy Japanese cartoons with an emotional message written on the side. 

-Yeah man, it's not even an emotional message! We all hate that!

And now suddenly before this week, even my single friends have resorted to flaunting their relationship status!

-Serenity now! Serenity now!

-Man, you seriously need to get over Seinfeld! That show was like, 15 years ago!

-I will. Until I find a new show to obsess with! 

-These pretzels are making me thirsty!

-Ha good one!

So, I think it's not reasonable to celebrate love only once an year.

-Hey! You also celebrate independence day only once an year!

-There's no point in reasoning with you, is it? Why don't you take a break for some time?

So, it really sometimes gets high on your nerves when you're left out. Committed people have their own group, ones from the break ups have their own and then even some single people have evolved to such a point that they enjoy their singularity with such pomp and show! And all that is left is people like me, like the leftover tomato ketchup on the side of the plate! Sigh!

We have a long history of mockery and humiliation before us,but I tell you my members of the wolf pack, we will not give up! Let them call us losers, loners, whatever they feel like, but we will not bow before them. You know what? We scare them! Because we're not even bothered about our relationship status! That threatens their very nature of existence!

-All right Brutus! Stop it! 

-But I have a valid point!

-And you've made it! You don't like valentine's Day! We get it! Now just get out of here! 

-%#^&*