Political ad-wise

The author of this blog for unknown reasons has suddenly disappeared from the social circle. He was last spotted in the Burmese jungles where the monkeys had given him a political asylum.

Advice To:

1) RAHUL GANDHI

Your name sounds Macedonian.
Nevertheless, dude, I just don't have any advice for you. you've fallen to such a low category! First of all, it has been really hard as to what to identify you as. Are you a politician? Or a businessman? Or just a mama's boy trying to fiddle at her workplace? What are you seriously? The nation wants to know!
You came in on a high note. Being branded as the pall bearer of change for modern India. You looked highly intelligent, qualified and there was a time when you were the most sought after bachelor outweighing even Dhoni's popularity when he was single! Now, I doubt whether girls perceive you as a transgender or as a pothead. Recently, Poonam Pandey was asked if she was willing to date you. She retorted at the reporter with a fiery vengeance and shouted Mahatma Gandhi's slogans at him.
Rahul, dude, what has happened to your fashion sense? Take a bath atleast someday! And we know you're an addict but why show it in public? Coming to these media conferences fully stoned and blown out of your mind, what was that all about? You talk about things that even you yourself don't know about, make yourself a laughing stock at your rallies and above all that troll your own partymen? And stop being a mama's boy for once. If other party's policies are fancier than yours, why do you have to make such a hue and cry over it? Grow up dude, grow up!
Finally, I am getting to some serious advice here- Go UNDERGROUND for atleast next 4 years. Just get the hell out of public domain ! You must've seen Hancock? (I think it's A-rated so not in the theatres but pirated?) Same principle. You wait for people to miss you. Hope for Modi to fail or decline in his popularity all of a sudden and comeback in a new Avatar in 2018. Start gearing up for 2019 elections and this time be a good boy and remember your speeches by heart.
And for god's sake. if there is any piece of intelligence left in you, don't contest these 2014 elections! Don't get yourself nominated as the party's PM candidate. It'll only add to your misery and congress's mockery.

2) NARENDRA MODI

Sir, heartiest congratulations for being selected as party's PM candidate. But what have you done? You rolled out the carpet for AAP in Delhi ! This just shows that people do not really like you. They'll vote for any dickhead who raises his voice against corruption. (*AK's not a Dickhead)
You were the major force behind driving in the country the anti-corruption, anti-congress wave. You were perceived as the ray of hope, a person who would eradicate corruption and do something real for common man. The light of change that you were, have let someone else bask in your glory. You are flawless. But your partymen aren't. They are leaving no stone upturned to create as many hurdles in  your way as possible. Anointment of Yedyurappa, weird statements from your party ministers especially Rajnath singh and RSS pulling up bizarre policies every now and then, you really have a tough time ahead. Mr. Advani lamenting on your success isn't a good sign either.
So, it's finally time to let your horses loose and put everything you have on stake. More time you wait for the arrival of the right time to start your campaigning, more hiccups will be created by the regional parties. And like AAP, they will eat your votebank. So, it's high time to let NaMo roar as loudly as possible. The NaMo decibel should silence all other parties. This thunder should be heard in each and every corner of the country.

3) RAJ THACKERY

Is he still alive? O_O
It is worth mentioning here that the author of this blog doesn't give a shit about Raj Thackery. His only appearance here is because of the little news headline he grabbed this morning by calling his party, "The BAAP of AAP". Someone is finally accepting his true age.
The only advice to him that the author of this blog can give is - stop dyeing your hair man! You look ridiculous!

4) AKHILESH YADAV

You, sir, turned out to be even a bigger motherfucker than your father, didn't you? Well, no advice for you either, for we all need an example for ourselves of how not to raise a fucked up child. Although we do have Rahul as a serious contender for this category. Anyways,we, the educated ones, also need you to continue on your political path because frankly, we do need a gentle reminder that dirty politics by congress is not so dirty after all.

With the last lines, the author became untraceable.
After reading this, I can probably say that it was only because of the lack of popularity of his blog that he managed to cross Indian borders alive. 

A goodbye is all that takes.

I was recently viewing one of my favourite blogs and I happened to pull up a light humour on the author of that blog, who in my opinion is a good person. But to my utter surprise, he toook an offense for it and said things he shouldn't have. Those things, although it was just a one line statement calling me a "dick", I would have brushed it aside like it never happened. But coming from a person I thought I knew, really hurts. I am having this kind of a problem everywhere, it seems. People, who I think I know, are giving me really some unexpected blows every now and then. I happened to have made some awesome friends with some girls and now we're not even talking anymore. And I was all fine by it. You don't want to talk to me, fine. I bid you goodbye and hope you have a happy life. This is my attitude. I don't like to keep any grudge nor am I having such a low self esteem that I will have to try and be dominating. But what hurt is that these things are not reciprocated. Those people back bitched about me and it really did hurt. Not by what they said but more by who said it. Because you never expect someone who was once so close to you, could ever say those things afterwards. I always thought there is even some dignity in rivalry. Well, atleast from the place I come from there definitely is.
 Life is all but an act of letting go. You meet people. You make friends with them. You lose them and you make some more in the journey of your life. But all this thing comes to the point of saying a dignified "goodbye" in the end. A symbol that makes you value the relationship you had, howsoever small it may have been. That the precious moments of my life I had spent with you were cherished and I will miss them. A "goodbye" that can minimise the pain of separation. I had a friend whom I could not say that to. And I will always feel guilty about it. Though our time together was short, but it was the most cherished time I had spent and has bore quite a mark on my heart. Just letting go of people respectfully and in a dignified manner makes us better people. People without grudges. People without hatred in their veins. Whenever life throws stones at you. you just cannot throw stones back at it. You just embrace yourself for it and try to keep moving forward. Same thing has to be with people. If someone hurts you bad, try not to hurt them back. They may think you're being weak, maybe that you even don't know how to hurt back but the truth is you don't want to hurt that person no matter what has happened between you two. This is the principle of my life. This principle is tested many times. Even I am looked down by others due to it. Ridiculed you might say. But your good deeds never go unrewarded. Like mine. I did lose quite a few friends this time around but I did make some too. And even amended things with one of my very old friend with whom I had a fallout about 3-4 years ago. Well, what can be the greater reward than that? And a greater proof that my attitude has been right and this principle really does work?
Finally, I would just say this- People will never behave according to your whims and fancies. You got to understand this. There might be some serious points of differences between you two and even some deeper issues about some person. But above all this, people are not bad from inside. A relationship has to be moulded by soft hands like a cotton candy gradually. You try and beat it with hammer, it will fall apart like it never existed. Even if that relationship is not working anymore, and it might be any kind of relationship, be it love interest or friendship or even with your family, if you have to let go of a person, let him or her go without any hatred or grudges in your heart. Our hearts are too pure for the blood mixed with hatred to be running in it. I didn't have any regrets in any of my relationships that have ended. And so there was no hatred nor any kind of remorse or anger. It had to happen someday, it's bad it happened so soon. A reciprocal feeling of respect and dignity might not come at that exact time but one would hope it would, in the future. And when it does, you will see that how much you have outgrown that person :)

Good night.

IHY

The Culinary Fad

Staying alone is the best thing that has ever happened to me. All because for my love of cooking. It is such a wonderful experience to see your hobby growing and having been put to good use. I thought I was a wonderful cook. But doing everything right from the beginning isn't so intereseting. It's actually quite tiresome. The cutting part especially. It's tacky too ! But when the whole food comes to life, it's all worth the effort.

I never realised Indian cooking would be such a challenge. Actually, you have to keep a perfect balance between all the spices and an amateur like me just rolled out some of the world's biggest disasters. Hell, I thought roasting, baking would be challenge! But it's seriously not. I would have been so happy to bake out a cake in Delhi, actually boasted about it incessantly but seriously, Daal-subji is no less than baking, mind you.

I don't know what's wrong with Lumia's camera while clicking pictures at shorter distances, but believe me these dishes looked much better than they do here.

Kadhai chicken 

Moong Dal

Onion Paranthas

Bread Rolls (one that broke)

Perfect bread rolls

Aloo Gobhi !

Paneer and dal paranthas! 

Being Bhopali

My Bhopal stay is turning out better than expected. I mean literally!

'Bhopal', a deadly bomb which blasted around three months back, shook me to my roots. It really tested my patience a couple of times and maybe, still is, but boy oh! boy! isn't it so good here?
Actually, the first time I came here, it was utter madness. Much like the foreigners experience when they first visit India. I get out of the train station and I am literally surrounded by hoards of dirty, black, smelly auto wallas ready to slice each other for me! How cool is that? Had they been girls, I would have felt so much better! :D A bumpy ride towards my hostel made me realise in how poor shape I have been in! Back breaking joy rides on bhopal roads had already rolled out the red carpets for my welcome! And the plush, silky smoke coming out of the century old vehicles over here was the icing of my cake! No place like BHOPAL!


The hostel was even better than expected! What 5-star suites? Hell no! I didn't expect them! I expected just some tin shack with a bed and a common toilet for all the hostelers! Contrary to my expectations, I was given a room big enough for two people and an attached toilet-bathroom! I mean a bed, a table and a chair! And attached toilet! I was overjoyed!  *Happy tears* *Pauses to wipe them off* What else does a man need to live, right? And boy! I had already sacrificed material pleasures before hand, remember? So,I think it's apt to declare here , DO Not think that I love Jaguar or Maserati ! I am way above all the material pleasures of this world !  And I met so awesome people here! I am just speechless! What can I say? Just this much that I am seriously a ' Tuch praani' in front of them!


Okay, enough of the satire. I am actually enjoying my stay in bhopal ! Seems like I am on a vacation and that too in London! The thing is I had realised I am not cut out for the hostel life, and therefore, just moved out of that shithole about one and a half months back. And since then, my life has been "uber cool" !! I live all alone in a rented house or maybe a mansion..whatever you want to call it :| So I put all my skills to good use. Especially the cooking ones! I make my own food and just every other basic thing you have to! It's so much fun. Bhopal is neither too cold nor too hot, so it is a good place for biking and when you're hitting the gym on regular basis, you just want to be seen on bikes! :P ANother news is that I am on a weightloss spree, shredded about 15kgs so far. But the bad thing is now I am out of clothes of my size. My pants just keep on falling down :/ And no I can't buy new clothes! I already bought these ones 3 months back and now they're so oversized. :/ :/


Apart from this, I think people from Delhi are even not that intelligent. I used the phrase AG, who is from Delhi, "moving out" and she was all over the place trying to control her laughter! :/  I really don't like people who don't get sarcasm! And also the ones, for whom, an english serial means FRIENDS -_-

Back to Life

Feels good to be back on blog. :)
My life has been on a roller coaster ride from the past 2-3 months with many highs and back-breaking lows. Unfortunately, you all will just get to hear about my high points ;)
By the way, I wonder who am I writing this post for? Or the bigger question that keeps on hanging in my mind is about the subtitle of my blog. Here's a short yet epic conversation about my blog between AG and me, whilst I was trying to impress her with my blogging skills :-

ME: See, I have this blog. (Feeling quite anxious to see her reaction)

AG: Blog? What's that? You're boring !

Me: Stop complaining and just read ! (I force her to go through a funny post at once)

AG: You seriously did that? (referring to me hitting my friend for ogling)

Me: Umm.. maybe that's why I have written it !

AG: Well, great then (And she resides back into her whatsapp world)

*Me still not satisfied with her reaction, forces her to scroll through my blog once more and this time I am just stunned to imagine the plight of my readers because she did have a point *

AG: It's good... your blog.

Me: Just good?

AG: Well, you do need a hobby or something.

Me: a hobby???...(before I could complete)

AG: But why does your heading says "The blog about nothing"?

Me: Because it is a blog about "nothing"

AG: Then why am I reading it?

Me: Because it's on blogger...(still wondering over that last part! lolzz!)

AG : Errr.. !

I really feel so bad that all of you had to go through so much! :D
I still can't stop laughing over that incident!
On one side I am being awarded by my dearest blogger friend (Sunakshi) and on another such an epic description of my blog is taking place ! :D
But not to worry folks! Sunakshi has agreed to write a guest post for my blog and I am optimistic that one day, I would definitely receive that post from her !
Till then, let me just work on the "Thank you for the award " post.( mentioning again the award being bestowed on me by the @Adamantwitch. )
Finally there will be two sensible posts on my blog- one from my Pooja Di, who has somehow gone into complete blog hibernation just like me but once again, I say I am an optimist and she must have been working on some ' ultra dhaasu' post amidst the Beaverton Hailstorms :D
And the second from my dearest friend Sunakshi to whom I have given the most important task of keeping Delhi safe while I am away. I am positive that the queen of Ghaziabad would be doing a wonderful job! :D

With Love,
IHY

:/ :| :) :D

Disclaimer: this comeback post is too damn idiotic to be read. I strongly advise you against reading it.

First of all Happy Diwali in advance to all of you.. kya pata kal ho na ho.. (okay it was pathetic!)

Now, back home after such a long time feels too good. If I could just record the reactions of my parents while going and coming back home.. sigh... it's such a moment :) Although we are not a very peaceful family mind you! We have lots of quarrels and nagging going on 24x7, I still find my family to be the perfect one. No unnecessary drama (although my mother can be too emotional sometimes) but all the more it's all has been quite normal. But it has changed ever since I went away from the home. Now, I think moi can also classify myself as a high draamebaaz! :P
I had millions of emotions trying burst out of me when I saw my parents after so many days. Actually, the thought of meeting them was much more scintillating than meeting them as such. And when I saw them (it was probably midnight) I could just say-'I am going to sleep!'
Such is my Drama! But their drama seems no bounds.. hugguing me like I have come from a war or something and asking me all sorts of unnecessary questions.. it all irritates sometimes but frankly I miss this irritation in hostel !

My life in college is turning out to be real pain in the ass! No friends, no girlfriends (sigh!) and no good company! I mean seriously? Not even a single person is that good. Although, I have made some super-awesome friends among my seniors! No, literally! Not that awesome, okay but still better than my batchmates I would say.  Some seniors are really good. Some are okay-okay. Some are even pathetic. Dealing with each and every one of them has really given me nerves of steel.

But what's missing is a proper friendship or companionship. I don't how it happened but my image has taken a drastic toll in my batch :o I am the good, decent student of my class!  Seriously! What is going on here??? Me and decent ? *tongue sticking out, eyes shut and lightning outside* :D
I thought why not go with this image? No? What's the harm in being decent? right?
No! I was wrong! People take you for granted. Back bitch about you constantly and do everything to hurt you  >: ( That decent image slowly loses its luster, you are termed as boring or sometimes even idiotic *sigh*
So congratulations to me I am back to school !
Never thought 20 yr olds could be this obnoxious!
They are seriously dickheads out there! Bhopali ! Soorma bhopali !
I have so many friends here in DU, and my god! Look at them! Hanging out with the best crowd, have had a complete makeover and what not! The only good thing with me is I am just studying a better course! Heck! *angry explicits*
(calm down abhishek, calm down! )

And what's with the social media these days?? Fb pe itni photos and on whatsapp too? What are you trying to prove damn it? I am jealous of you, okay? khush? *another round of angry explicits*

*goes to the fridge, eats some cake*

Now I feel better :D

I am also quite obsessed with girls these days. An obsession like never before. Maybe because I have made a complete foll of myself in front of her and now I require an image makeover. It's tough I tell you. She is in demand always, I tell you. Delhi friends as well as soorma bhopalis.. all keep her quite distracted from me :P I already feel like rajesh koothrappali :P :P !
It is so funny! How life takes unexpected turns? I am not angry. Neither sad. I am enjoying all this.
Sometimes I pause to recall what all has happened to me, in third person talk to myself. It really helps in tensed situations. Gives you a hearty laugh and a great solution! :D

P.S- I showed some of my posts to THE GIRL. I am now thinking of either shutting down my blog or awarding each and everyone of you, who reads my blog with millions of chocolates!

Back After such a long time

It's good to be finally back here :) For all of those who are wondering where I went, I have joined my BDS classes in Bhopal ! So, I am staying in hostel and since then, my life has been on a roller coaster ride.
Life in hostel is very tough, for me, I would say ;) Going away from my home for the first time was a very drastic change which came all of a sudden. The fact obviously remains, that it had to be by chance,not by choice.

So let me just start point wise to get a concise post.

THE RAGGING PART

Why not start with the funniest part?
So, yes, I was ragged, am being ragged and will be ragged till the fresher's is organised.
For 15 days I had stayed in the hostel, I with my other batchmates, had become the personal chai-walla, paani-waala and what not? For the first time, I did someone else's assignment.
The first day, I went there, 15-20 seniors had come to my room just to take a look at me. *sigh* I felt like a new dog in a colony being sniffed by the local dogs *deep deep sighs*
And then I was bombarded with numerous questions ranging from my hobbies, my talents and my favourite actress! I dodged these questions quite wickedly though..which I had to regret later..
like, Where did you study?
In the school sir.. I said with a puppy face :D

My batchmates then took a 2hr class of me the same day and made me aware of all the protocols and rules. I had no option but to comply..

And being from delhi, I tell you, is a curse in these places. All the people have their pre-conceived notions about delhites, mostly on the negative sides, so I am being ragged harder. I need more training than others, or so the seniors say..!

We, especially, Me, is ordered to speak in shudh hindi !
e.g For asking any senior's name I have to say like this-aadarniya shriman mahoday, aap mere varishth hain aur main apka kanishth hoon. Me apne aap ko apke aadar aur samman ka paatra banne ke kaabil bhi nhi samajhta paruntu fir bhi kya mai apka su-naam jaanne ki chestha rakh sakta hoon? 

For asking the permission to go to bed-Manniya Shriman Mahodaya. Me, ek atyant tuch praani, aapke aseem shabd sunne ke baad dhanya ho gaya hoon. Agya deejiye mujhe apne kaksh me viraajmaan hone ki..

And we have to put shri before the name of any senior and the number of shri(s) depends upon the year in which the senior is. For example, we have to put shri five times before his name if the senior is in the fifth year! 

Standing outside the room of seniors for two hours, singing and dancing for them is all we get to do after we come back from the college.. First week was quite rough but as the seniors got more used to the juniors, the intensity decreased gradually. 

But for me again, nothing goes straight. Least to say, the seniors hate me more than others because in their opinion I complained to the authorities.. another moment for *sigh*

Chalo, let's not bicker about it too much, going forth to the next part

THE FRIEND PART

Now, what surprised me the most in my college is that I am the only one from Delhi. And that too in all the years. There were people mostly from M.P, Maharashtra and other adjoining states. But no one is from proper North India. It is difficult to adjust with people who come from an entirely different culture altogether. But I am trying to be as flexible as possible. 

My room mate is from Jabalpur, another small town in MP. Apparently, he had been living in a hostel since his class 5th.  At first I thought he was a good fellow. But later I realised what an obnoxious little weed he is. Bossing around seems to be his favourite hobby. And my god! he is so blunt, in his speech and his manners too. I wouldn't want to write all the unnecessary details but one thing is for sure, that he doesn't qualify for being my friend. I was quite perturbed by this fact but I got a very soothing advice in the meantime that, even I should not treat him as my friend. Just treat him like a room mate. And after implementing it, I was so relieved. Half of my pressure seemed to have evaporated. 
Actually, from what I have observed, people from small towns have a very basic problem of inferiority complex. They have to press their issues harder to prove that they are not any inferior. That's why they act so rigidly and take everything for granted. Although, for people of big cities like Delhi, there are a lot of misconceptions, major one being that we have a lot of attitude and are quite un-adjusting, I found I adapt to every situation whatever it is. But still, these people from smaller towns fail to take cognizance of any such activity and go forward with their pre-conceived notions. Being from a bigger town, I had to adjust the most to the bare minimum facilities. And being away from my family, it was a really hard part. I would call my dad three times a day and talk to him for hours altogether. He is a very patient listener. He would stop whatever work he would've been doing and solely focus on what I had to say. 
I had assumed my other batchmates would've been going through the same situations but I found them perfectly alright! Nobody was interested in talking to his parents at home. My room mate just called his father once in just 15 days and that too only to ask for some money. It was a real shocker indeed. But later I found out that all of them had in a way stayed away from their homes at one point or another. And all of them had stayed in Kota(Rajasthan) for their entrance preparation, away from their homes. So, they were obviously far more trained and accustomed to such lifestyle. So, obviously I am the weak petal !
I am keeping a very low-profile in the college. I am interacting with everyone but nobody has become a very good friend of mine and I don't think it would be easy for me to find one in this place! The major problem is, I have nothing to talk about with them. And being just the beginning, we're under scanner all 24 hrs. So, to avoid all the judgements, I play particularly safe. 

THE COLLEGE

My college is, well, too cheap for a private university. I had anticipated it to be more like the Manipal university but it turned out to be just better than your average govt. college. Even the campus is not that good. I mean, it's huge. Yes, spread across acres of land but there are a lots of different colleges within the same campus. The thing that pinches me the most is that there is no jogging or walking track. I am really fond of morning walks and running but there neither the people nor the college are interested in giving some space for such activities. Another difficulty of being among small towners. I say this because they are developing, no doubt. But are committing the same mistakes that happened in the metropolitan cities. You just subtract 10-15 years from Delhi and you'll get Bhopal. 

The teachers here, well, aren't backward or small towners. They are like Delhi teachers. Crank! Everywhere the teachers are much the same. Actually, they are good. Till now they have been. Atleast to me. But what I have heard from my seniors is a very dark picture of these good faces... 
Hence, the variable adjective. 

And the one thing which gets me really irritated is the drinking problem. 90% of the hostlers drink, then do their 'naare-baazi' and all that weird stuff. I felt like I have come among animals, the first time. The second thing is the use of "tapori" language. Hurling abuses and to such a great extent, was just yak! No sense of whether it's morning or evening, they'll have to use BC in every sentence they use. 

I am glad I used only english abuses. Now I think I will stop them altogether ;) 
Seeing such a behaviour has made me more mannerful I would say :P 

Finally,THE IMPACT ON ME

Spending even such a short time in hostel has turned out to be a bitterwseet experience which in my analysis has had a lot of impact on me. The first one being the change in my eating habits ! I had found the mess food really awful, every daal tasted the same. And the taste also bore the touch of central and south india, so naturally it repelled me. So, I would just eat 2-3 chapatis all throughout the day. But it's good. I have reduced around 4 kgs. I invite all the souls irritated by their weight to join me in the hostel -_-


Also, we're not allowed to roam alone in the campus, so I am just confined to my room and college for most of the time. It's a real shame that I haven't seen the actual Bhopal ever since I got there.
My college is also good 10-15 kms away from the main city and transportation is a real hassle. So, I intrinsically avoid going to places. 


The next thing I can think of is, now I value this life more than ever. Seeing cadavers and dissecting actual human heads, I now know the importance of human lives much better. And also the value of human relationships. What came to me as a rude shock was the fact that how come in this country of 1.2 billion people, there was nobody to claim these men and women? 

There are times when I am too irritated, just questioning myself "why did I ever come to this place?" and sometimes others, it's just normal. Neither too bad nor too good. And these mood swings will go on. The only change is, living in hostel I have realised that we take for granted our loved ones. They are subjected to our frustrations and irritations regularly but in hostel, you have to deal with these things yourself. You cannot vent out your anger on any other person. I think this has been the most ominous change I have witnessed in the hostel life. 
Now, the major question is "Am I enjoying the hostel life? " I don't think so. Well, frankly, if I would have got any other chance to stay near my home, I would have pounced upon it like a hungry lion. But it's the way of life. And I need to prove myself something this time and hence, I won't back off now. I just can't let my emotions guide my actions this time. It's been a new beginning, not a great one in my opinion but I am sure it would not turn out to be a mistake. 

 "Live like you own it, otherwise don't live it at all" 

So, that was all I had to say. I don't know when will I get time for my next post. BDS is a tough course. I had been underestimating it but now I realise how much one has to study for it. And a hostler is never free. Singing songs for the seniors even at 12pm at night, acting like a spot boy for them and so many other roles, is quite time consuming ;) We do it because seniors will only help us in the later years. For example, we have to carve out the whole tooth from a simple cuboidal wax block. Like sculpturing. So, seniors might change just one or two cuts of the block and our carvings would get an A. That's how it works in medical line. You help your seniors, they help you in return. 
I know everything won't turn out to be perfect but I hope I will make things perfect for myself. I will slog and slog some more in desperate times. I have many more stories to write about but I don't see their relevance. In the course of life, you just remember big things. Nobody remembers what they said to their friend on a particular day in class 5th. So, I am filtering every incidences whether they are worth remembering or not. I want to keep my mind as free as possible. I have better stuff to fill it with ;) 
I don't know how to end this post. I can't think of any flowery ending, so I'll just have to be contended with plain old bye and have a good life :) 

P.S- What if anybody from my college reads my blog? Would I be dead? :P