Friday, 28 March 2014

A society well educated?

All thanks to the new diseases I keep encountering each and everyday, I encountered something quite horrendous, if I may say so. My Parotid gland swelled up, which is a salivary gland right across the cheek before the ear. It happens due to mumps or some other infection but in my case, I ate a sour flavour of Nachos, felt a twinge across my face, which all of you must have experienced from time to time and next thing I know, my face looks like half a pear. It was quite unexpected and inexplicable. For me as well, though being a student of dentistry, I do study about salivary glands but this was only one of its kind. But being such an intelligent specimen of such a disastrous species that I am , I did not panic at all :P And I came to home instantly in Delhi :P So not panicky :P

                Now, I am not here to make a big issue of my illness or anything, but I am here to speculate about a stark; I don’t know what to call it, the state of Delhi and its people. The state of Delhi, has deteriorated so much over the past years, there is no doubt over it. I am not talking about the beauty of Delhi, or on the developmental lines but I am talking here about the soul of Delhi which has been marred and is being marred everday by the people who reside in Delhi.
I am not much of a metro traveler, or even a public transport user, because first of all, I don’t bloody like it and secondly, I don’t require it. But when you suddenly have to step out of your comfort zone, which  I kind of had to today, it really left me aghast too see as to what has become of us these days. I am walking down the street and I see all kind of maniacs here. The civil maniacs. There is a bunch of young boys maybe in class 6th or so, speeding on their scooties. One of them was louder than the group and much of a show off. So in his high which he might be getting, he attempted a wheelie and unfortunately, he ended up hitting an elderly woman. Now these are the times when you really don’t know what to do. You can’t scold the boy. He was already petrified at his accident and you can’t even let it go. With all the crowd gathered around him, he was bloody terrified. And people yelling and shouting at his inane behaviour, there was more a sense of desperation in these people rather than any concern for that old lady. And this is not the first time such things have happened. So many road rage incidents and brawls on trivial issues, what has become of us these days? I was watching the movie 'fight club’ the other day and found quite an amusing scene where each of the member of fight club has been given a task of indulging into a fight with total stranger. And guess what, it showed people actually do not dare to fight. That was about 15 years ago. So people did have some civility 15 years ago. But where has all of that gone? People nowadays are just waiting for a fight to happen. They are looking for an excuse to fight rather than avoid it. Even in your workplace, it’s a common phenomenon that people rake up really small issues and hold a grudge against you. A small difference of opinion between you and someone else’s nowadays means you’re intrinsically an asshole and do not deserve a place to live in this world. Respecting someone’s opinion and not not contesting someone’s opinion are two very different things and people have lost this fundamental sense completely.

    Talking about Delhi specifically, the people here are, mostly, immigrants and all the Delhites want to force this change on them. But I really want to speculate here. Whether they are the real issue here for all the destruction of our values? Is it all due to them? Or we all are missing something bigger here? I mean with delhi being a mega city, there are people here belonging to most vivid cultures. Here you can find a Dhoti clad Tau on a chaar poyi, a turban clad sardar in a Jaguar but who still bows before Bangla Sahib, a bright, colourful saaree clad woman who smokes hookah, or even just another Bihari going naked in the street to finish off his daily ritual of offering water to the Sun. Delhi has everything. Now when people relocate, they bring their cultures to that place. It seems fair to attribute the loss of Delhi’s original culture due to this intermingling. But is that one hundred percent right? I don’t think so. Because everywhere, this thing is happening. Maybe at a slower pace in some other areas but this is just not indigenous Delhi, it’s a global phenomenon. The examples come to light every now and then. Countries are strong armed.  But why is such a thing happening?Are people these days are sitting at the end of volcanoes? Because just one stimulus and they erupts like anything. Is this the kind of environment we really want to live in? There are self crowned idealists, some of them hold debates on national TV, some roam around wearing Nehru caps, and some go to such an extent that they start comparing themselves to Gandhi. But that is not what this article is about. This article is sololely and specifically about why is there so much anguish among the common man? Why is he not satisfied with his life and why is he letting his sense shadowed under the cloud of his ego? The world needs peace more than ever. We have all kinds of weapons of mass destruction and we have seen people losing the respect for human lives. To hell with mass destruction, I say angry potheads with a 5 ton car are potential threat to our security in general. I am actually pained to see our values, our humility being diminished. We have all been forced to believe that we are here to do something big. We are forced to look at the things in an impractical fashion. And that’s why I find a person’s own desperation, guilt, remorse, failed dreams and an impaired sense of judgement coming into force during an argument. It seems they are on a vendetta to link everything with their own cause. They fight to run away from pain. And the worst of all is, these people see humility as a sign of weakness and so do dumb spectators who are too scared to voice their own opinions. Why? Because they think it might not sound cool or maybe it will make them the target. But I am sick of people giving such excuses at why they did not react in the right fashion. For god’s sake stop blaming other people for your cowardness. And these people are contagious. It’s necessary you stay away from them and shun them out with a full pounding force and wake up from their sleep so that they realise that they are wrong. Doing nothing is just as good as doing wrong. I am disappointed how the slightest of the values of human nature have perished altogether by our uncouth, loutish egos that have simply got out of our hands to deal with.  I am not here to be the yardstick of being the superior model of calmness and sense or moral judgement. But this, sir, lack of humility and your boiling attitude, will not be tolerated. Confrontations don’t happen. We make it happen. We hunt for blood. Everywhere. But where does it end finally? The outbursts, the frenzy, the exhaustion, the powerlessness ultimately leaves you crippled. I feel terrified, not humiliated, not shameful but terrified to be associated with such society with such hypocrisy. Terrified. Because when you are dealing with angry men, it's better to stay away. But for how long are we going to tolerate this kind of absurdity of being the recipient of your own insecurities? I have been an ardent supporter of this word "humility", because your act of humility can brave you through any situation. With your pride and dignity intact. But it is even more important that the bloody motherfucking common man understands this word, its gesture, its meaning and its motive. Politeness, humility look poised when they are understood well. But in today's society, I barely find a place where it is not misunderstood. Misunderstood as ego or pride or to some more clever people as some cheap trick to be seen as pretentious and idealistic. We really need to pause for a second to see where we're heading to. We are losing our ideals to something that is more bigoted than cheap.

Saturday, 22 March 2014

The Ship Of Theseus

The Ship Of Theseus or better known as Theseus's Paradox is a simple yet most intricate philosophies from the time immemorial. It just poses a simple question- "Whether an object whose all parts have been replaced remains fundamentally the same object?" I got acquainted about this anomaly somewhere three years back and I am yet to arrive at a suitable answer to explain my position.
 We all are surrounded by this anomaly, in fact. Take for example, an old car, your Dad is quite attached to. Many of its parts have been replaced, it's even painted new. It's still working. But does it remain the fundamentally the same object your dad bought? I, like many of you, at first believed it was. After all it's been with us for so long. But is that the only parameter? What if the engine has been replaced altogether? Well, lets forget about inanimate objects. Let's move on to a person. Suppose, someone has replaced his organs, as we quite commonly see in transplant cases. Does he remain the same person after that? Yes, of course, he does! He has the same mind. But fundamentally? Would he be able to show exuberance like he used to? Forget even that! Would a person be the same after he is broken? By circumstance or maybe even a failed relationship?
 We all change with time. Change is inescapable. Even languid in some cases and you might discard with all your superciliousness but like time, it is eternal. Now, Be it inanimate objects or the animate ones, nothing is beyond this foible. So, even our opinions, our motives, our thinking! all change. Do we remain fundamentally the same person as we started out to be? I would stick to a firm no. We don't even remain the half of what we had started out as. There is so much change in a person just in a mere duration of an year, I am nonplussed how we attribute him to as being the same person.
 Our love for the things might remain the same. So can our opinions. But it's imperative to observe that things do not remain the same. I am not going into much deeper philosophy to state something about souls of these things, just a superficial scrutiny to one of my most favourite anomalies of all time. And I am sure a few years later I will have an entirely different view to this philosophy. But wouldn't we all? 

Friday, 14 March 2014

Top 10 Reasons Why I Hated To Lose Weight

Losing weight has been a long lust for me and finally, I did lose some of it but it's still far from my desired target. But noticeable differences are there and I am not liking this change. I hate change. Therefore, shamelessly, I put out the list of reasons why I liked myself better when I was 'FAT' :

1) This one's pretty obvious. I hate to lose weight because in the process I would have to forego of my love of McDonald's, Domino's, Wimpy's, Berco's, MOD, Dunkin' donuts' and the list goes on and on. Because I am that kind of person who chooses food before sex. Although, I wonder if I might be right here. Girl? Or Bread? HUh! Like Joey (From Friends) I want a girl on my bread! :D
(kuch seekho nalayako, jaha pe zaroorat na bhi ho, waha pe dialogue kaise chepe jaate hain !)

2) Being fat, I never had to bother to speak. Just keep your mouth filled with stuff all the time and no one would dare to interrupt your foreplay at a party! And also, when you're losing an audience which I kinda feel imminent on my blog, you can always attribute it to the large fatty cheeks that hinder your speech !

3) And talking about parties, it had been so profitable to take me to the buffets or the parties. I really extracted all the value of money.. yes!

4) And dancing like nuts on marriage celebration. I am not happy that my brother or sister will be getting laid from now onwards and I will be left out! So, being fat, I could always find an excuse of not dancing hysterically on these goddamn weddings!
(Yeah! Even I miss that too.. )

5) Going away from the scenario of public gatherings, I figured that my fatness was also a good excuse for me to convince my parents to fly me on business class or even get me those swanky gold class lounge tickets at movie theatres. But genuinely, who can fit on those economy seats?

6) And I used to come with a whole lot of package. I could use my tummy to drive a car around. Unfortunately, I have lost this superpower now :(

7) And I did come with the perfect package. When I used to meet a girl, I was like " Hey bitch! Look my boobs! They are bigger than yours!" And they really felt complexed. I have seen it on their faces..

8) And I fucking had 3 pack abs man! One family pack and two on the torso ! :P
 
9) Also, when I think, fat was my layer of protection, no? If somebody was to stab me, which I am    sure by the number of enemies I have made are already planning to, fat would provide me with      extra protection! It's tragic that my cover's been lost :(

10) Finally, I would've never fallen into the pot. You know what I mean? Like your fat butt cheeks are hanging out of the toilet seat and the water jet doesn't even reach your tushie.. Yeah something like that. Another horrible thing to find out that, you can actually fall into the pot where you did potty :P



Yours sincerely,

20kgs reduced IHY


By the way, is it just me or do you people also find it utterly bizarre that we all are the products of horniness of two human beings? O_o



Friday, 14 February 2014

This definitely has to make your day

Not more than 2 hours ago, I had exposed my disgust for Valentine's Day quite obnoxiously. But my friends, what happened in the last hour couldn't have made my hatred for this day more profound than ever. 

I had this little crush  back there, about 3 years ago. Let's call her AM. Now, AM and I have been real good friends, not keeping up lately but certainly have light conversations at weekends occasionally. Now she pings me up on this valentine day! And at a time when I know things are not going all fine between her and her boyfriend.

AM : Hey! Are you there?

(And I go like, oh boy! She is onto me man! Why else would she text me on valentine's day? 
 I text AJ.

Me: Man, you're not gonna believe it! AM just messaged me today! Maybe she's going to propose to me! 

AJ: Get out of here man! No way! She won't leave her bheem ! (we call her BF bheem :D) 

Me: Dude, she's having a hard time keeping up with Bheem these days! And you know, I had always been there for her!

AJ : Hats off dude! You're one lucky bastard ! Girls fall right out of the sky for you!

Me: It's nothing like that.. But I would say this, my charm does work sooner or later ! *Boasting*
      Well, I gotta text her back. I don't want to make her desperate!

AJ : You're the man! 

(I revert back to texting AM)

Me: Heyy! Sure always am! What's up?

AM : Nothing new, just the same old stuff.

Me: Having fun with Bheem?? Come on, bring it on! Make me jealous. Where did you go?

AM: Umm.. we kinda are not seeing each other for the time being.

Me: Oh! I am so sorry to hear that ! 

AM: Yeah, me too. But I am past that. 

(Me to myself: Here it comes! I've been waiting for this! ooh! I can't believe this! If she was not into Bheem, I am pretty sure, she would have been onto me!)

AM: So, Do you have AJ's number?

Me: Umm... yeah. Hang on a minute. (AJ's number? strange!)
       There you go. But What's the deal here? 

AM : Oh you know yarr.. I has a crush on him from the beginning, so just...

Me to myself : AJ ! You bloody Son-of-a-#$%@




On This Day, I give this world _____

Hello my fellow Earthians! Hope you're enjoying your day with that loved one of yours who will eventually suck the life out of you slowly and gradually :P Whatever, I had been missing on my blog posts for so much time but what the hell! I am even missing out on my assignments, so much that I've not gone to the college for a couple of weeks now, so missing out on blog posts seems fair enough. Even I, myself don't know what's wrong but I've entered into a shell of some sorts. In which I just like to remain silent and do nothing. Literally nothing. It's totally making me go bonkers! 
Speaking of going bonkers, Valentine's day's here!
-Hey! What's the connection? ;\
All throughout the year, I get to witness hundreds of facebook posts and whatspp statuses of my friends who are either on cloud 9 with their love or going all berserk with those crappy Japanese cartoons with an emotional message written on the side. 
-Yeah man, it's not even an emotional message! We all hate that!
And now suddenly before this week, even my single friends have resorted to flaunting their relationship status!
-Serenity now! Serenity now!
-Man, you seriously need to get over Seinfeld! That show was like, 15 years ago!
-I will. Until I find a new show to obsess with! 
-These pretzels are making me thirsty!
-Ha good one!
So, I think it's not reasonable to celebrate love only once an year.
-Hey! You also celebrate independence day only once an year!
-There's no point in reasoning with you, is it? Why don't you take a break for some time?
So, it really sometimes gets high on your nerves when you're left out. Committed people have their own group, ones from the break ups have their own and then even some single people have evolved to such a point that they enjoy their singularity with such pomp and show! And all that is left is people like me, like the leftover tomato ketchup on the side of the plate! Sigh!
We have a long history of mockery and humiliation before us,but I tell you my members of the wolf pack, we will not give up! Let them call us losers, loners, whatever they feel like, but we will not bow before them. You know what? We scare them! Because we're not even bothered about our relationship status! That threatens their very nature of existence!
-All right Brutus! Stop it! 
-But I have a valid point!
-And you've made it! You don't like valentine's Day! We get it! Now just get out of here! 
-%#^&*

Friday, 10 January 2014

Political ad-wise

The author of this blog for unknown reasons has suddenly disappeared from the social circle. He was last spotted in the Burmese jungles where the monkeys had given him a political asylum.

Advice To:

1) RAHUL GANDHI

Your name sounds Macedonian.
Nevertheless, dude, I just don't have any advice for you. you've fallen to such a low category! First of all, it has been really hard as to what to identify you as. Are you a politician? Or a businessman? Or just a mama's boy trying to fiddle at her workplace? What are you seriously? The nation wants to know!
You came in on a high note. Being branded as the pall bearer of change for modern India. You looked highly intelligent, qualified and there was a time when you were the most sought after bachelor outweighing even Dhoni's popularity when he was single! Now, I doubt whether girls perceive you as a transgender or as a pothead. Recently, Poonam Pandey was asked if she was willing to date you. She retorted at the reporter with a fiery vengeance and shouted Mahatma Gandhi's slogans at him.
Rahul, dude, what has happened to your fashion sense? Take a bath atleast someday! And we know you're an addict but why show it in public? Coming to these media conferences fully stoned and blown out of your mind, what was that all about? You talk about things that even you yourself don't know about, make yourself a laughing stock at your rallies and above all that troll your own partymen? And stop being a mama's boy for once. If other party's policies are fancier than yours, why do you have to make such a hue and cry over it? Grow up dude, grow up!
Finally, I am getting to some serious advice here- Go UNDERGROUND for atleast next 4 years. Just get the hell out of public domain ! You must've seen Hancock? (I think it's A-rated so not in the theatres but pirated?) Same principle. You wait for people to miss you. Hope for Modi to fail or decline in his popularity all of a sudden and comeback in a new Avatar in 2018. Start gearing up for 2019 elections and this time be a good boy and remember your speeches by heart.
And for god's sake. if there is any piece of intelligence left in you, don't contest these 2014 elections! Don't get yourself nominated as the party's PM candidate. It'll only add to your misery and congress's mockery.

2) NARENDRA MODI

Sir, heartiest congratulations for being selected as party's PM candidate. But what have you done? You rolled out the carpet for AAP in Delhi ! This just shows that people do not really like you. They'll vote for any dickhead who raises his voice against corruption. (*AK's not a Dickhead)
You were the major force behind driving in the country the anti-corruption, anti-congress wave. You were perceived as the ray of hope, a person who would eradicate corruption and do something real for common man. The light of change that you were, have let someone else bask in your glory. You are flawless. But your partymen aren't. They are leaving no stone upturned to create as many hurdles in  your way as possible. Anointment of Yedyurappa, weird statements from your party ministers especially Rajnath singh and RSS pulling up bizarre policies every now and then, you really have a tough time ahead. Mr. Advani lamenting on your success isn't a good sign either.
So, it's finally time to let your horses loose and put everything you have on stake. More time you wait for the arrival of the right time to start your campaigning, more hiccups will be created by the regional parties. And like AAP, they will eat your votebank. So, it's high time to let NaMo roar as loudly as possible. The NaMo decibel should silence all other parties. This thunder should be heard in each and every corner of the country.

3) RAJ THACKERY

Is he still alive? O_O
It is worth mentioning here that the author of this blog doesn't give a shit about Raj Thackery. His only appearance here is because of the little news headline he grabbed this morning by calling his party, "The BAAP of AAP". Someone is finally accepting his true age.
The only advice to him that the author of this blog can give is - stop dyeing your hair man! You look ridiculous!

4) AKHILESH YADAV

You, sir, turned out to be even a bigger motherfucker than your father, didn't you? Well, no advice for you either, for we all need an example for ourselves of how not to raise a fucked up child. Although we do have Rahul as a serious contender for this category. Anyways,we, the educated ones, also need you to continue on your political path because frankly, we do need a gentle reminder that dirty politics by congress is not so dirty after all.

With the last lines, the author became untraceable.
After reading this, I can probably say that it was only because of the lack of popularity of his blog that he managed to cross Indian borders alive. 

Wednesday, 8 January 2014

A goodbye is all that takes.

I was recently viewing one of my favourite blogs and I happened to pull up a light humour on the author of that blog, who in my opinion is a good person. But to my utter surprise, he toook an offense for it and said things he shouldn't have. Those things, although it was just a one line statement calling me a "dick", I would have brushed it aside like it never happened. But coming from a person I thought I knew, really hurts. I am having this kind of a problem everywhere, it seems. People, who I think I know, are giving me really some unexpected blows every now and then. I happened to have made some awesome friends with some girls and now we're not even talking anymore. And I was all fine by it. You don't want to talk to me, fine. I bid you goodbye and hope you have a happy life. This is my attitude. I don't like to keep any grudge nor am I having such a low self esteem that I will have to try and be dominating. But what hurt is that these things are not reciprocated. Those people back bitched about me and it really did hurt. Not by what they said but more by who said it. Because you never expect someone who was once so close to you, could ever say those things afterwards. I always thought there is even some dignity in rivalry. Well, atleast from the place I come from there definitely is.
 Life is all but an act of letting go. You meet people. You make friends with them. You lose them and you make some more in the journey of your life. But all this thing comes to the point of saying a dignified "goodbye" in the end. A symbol that makes you value the relationship you had, howsoever small it may have been. That the precious moments of my life I had spent with you were cherished and I will miss them. A "goodbye" that can minimise the pain of separation. I had a friend whom I could not say that to. And I will always feel guilty about it. Though our time together was short, but it was the most cherished time I had spent and has bore quite a mark on my heart. Just letting go of people respectfully and in a dignified manner makes us better people. People without grudges. People without hatred in their veins. Whenever life throws stones at you. you just cannot throw stones back at it. You just embrace yourself for it and try to keep moving forward. Same thing has to be with people. If someone hurts you bad, try not to hurt them back. They may think you're being weak, maybe that you even don't know how to hurt back but the truth is you don't want to hurt that person no matter what has happened between you two. This is the principle of my life. This principle is tested many times. Even I am looked down by others due to it. Ridiculed you might say. But your good deeds never go unrewarded. Like mine. I did lose quite a few friends this time around but I did make some too. And even amended things with one of my very old friend with whom I had a fallout about 3-4 years ago. Well, what can be the greater reward than that? And a greater proof that my attitude has been right and this principle really does work?
Finally, I would just say this- People will never behave according to your whims and fancies. You got to understand this. There might be some serious points of differences between you two and even some deeper issues about some person. But above all this, people are not bad from inside. A relationship has to be moulded by soft hands like a cotton candy gradually. You try and beat it with hammer, it will fall apart like it never existed. Even if that relationship is not working anymore, and it might be any kind of relationship, be it love interest or friendship or even with your family, if you have to let go of a person, let him or her go without any hatred or grudges in your heart. Our hearts are too pure for the blood mixed with hatred to be running in it. I didn't have any regrets in any of my relationships that have ended. And so there was no hatred nor any kind of remorse or anger. It had to happen someday, it's bad it happened so soon. A reciprocal feeling of respect and dignity might not come at that exact time but one would hope it would, in the future. And when it does, you will see that how much you have outgrown that person :)

Good night.

IHY