Tuesday, 1 October 2013

Back After such a long time

It's good to be finally back here :) For all of those who are wondering where I went, I have joined my BDS classes in Bhopal ! So, I am staying in hostel and since then, my life has been on a roller coaster ride.
Life in hostel is very tough, for me, I would say ;) Going away from my home for the first time was a very drastic change which came all of a sudden. The fact obviously remains, that it had to be by chance,not by choice.

So let me just start point wise to get a concise post.

THE RAGGING PART

Why not start with the funniest part?
So, yes, I was ragged, am being ragged and will be ragged till the fresher's is organised.
For 15 days I had stayed in the hostel, I with my other batchmates, had become the personal chai-walla, paani-waala and what not? For the first time, I did someone else's assignment.
The first day, I went there, 15-20 seniors had come to my room just to take a look at me. *sigh* I felt like a new dog in a colony being sniffed by the local dogs *deep deep sighs*
And then I was bombarded with numerous questions ranging from my hobbies, my talents and my favourite actress! I dodged these questions quite wickedly though..which I had to regret later..
like, Where did you study?
In the school sir.. I said with a puppy face :D

My batchmates then took a 2hr class of me the same day and made me aware of all the protocols and rules. I had no option but to comply..

And being from delhi, I tell you, is a curse in these places. All the people have their pre-conceived notions about delhites, mostly on the negative sides, so I am being ragged harder. I need more training than others, or so the seniors say..!

We, especially, Me, is ordered to speak in shudh hindi !
e.g For asking any senior's name I have to say like this-aadarniya shriman mahoday, aap mere varishth hain aur main apka kanishth hoon. Me apne aap ko apke aadar aur samman ka paatra banne ke kaabil bhi nhi samajhta paruntu fir bhi kya mai apka su-naam jaanne ki chestha rakh sakta hoon? 

For asking the permission to go to bed-Manniya Shriman Mahodaya. Me, ek atyant tuch praani, aapke aseem shabd sunne ke baad dhanya ho gaya hoon. Agya deejiye mujhe apne kaksh me viraajmaan hone ki..

And we have to put shri before the name of any senior and the number of shri(s) depends upon the year in which the senior is. For example, we have to put shri five times before his name if the senior is in the fifth year! 

Standing outside the room of seniors for two hours, singing and dancing for them is all we get to do after we come back from the college.. First week was quite rough but as the seniors got more used to the juniors, the intensity decreased gradually. 

But for me again, nothing goes straight. Least to say, the seniors hate me more than others because in their opinion I complained to the authorities.. another moment for *sigh*

Chalo, let's not bicker about it too much, going forth to the next part

THE FRIEND PART

Now, what surprised me the most in my college is that I am the only one from Delhi. And that too in all the years. There were people mostly from M.P, Maharashtra and other adjoining states. But no one is from proper North India. It is difficult to adjust with people who come from an entirely different culture altogether. But I am trying to be as flexible as possible. 

My room mate is from Jabalpur, another small town in MP. Apparently, he had been living in a hostel since his class 5th.  At first I thought he was a good fellow. But later I realised what an obnoxious little weed he is. Bossing around seems to be his favourite hobby. And my god! he is so blunt, in his speech and his manners too. I wouldn't want to write all the unnecessary details but one thing is for sure, that he doesn't qualify for being my friend. I was quite perturbed by this fact but I got a very soothing advice in the meantime that, even I should not treat him as my friend. Just treat him like a room mate. And after implementing it, I was so relieved. Half of my pressure seemed to have evaporated. 
Actually, from what I have observed, people from small towns have a very basic problem of inferiority complex. They have to press their issues harder to prove that they are not any inferior. That's why they act so rigidly and take everything for granted. Although, for people of big cities like Delhi, there are a lot of misconceptions, major one being that we have a lot of attitude and are quite un-adjusting, I found I adapt to every situation whatever it is. But still, these people from smaller towns fail to take cognizance of any such activity and go forward with their pre-conceived notions. Being from a bigger town, I had to adjust the most to the bare minimum facilities. And being away from my family, it was a really hard part. I would call my dad three times a day and talk to him for hours altogether. He is a very patient listener. He would stop whatever work he would've been doing and solely focus on what I had to say. 
I had assumed my other batchmates would've been going through the same situations but I found them perfectly alright! Nobody was interested in talking to his parents at home. My room mate just called his father once in just 15 days and that too only to ask for some money. It was a real shocker indeed. But later I found out that all of them had in a way stayed away from their homes at one point or another. And all of them had stayed in Kota(Rajasthan) for their entrance preparation, away from their homes. So, they were obviously far more trained and accustomed to such lifestyle. So, obviously I am the weak petal !
I am keeping a very low-profile in the college. I am interacting with everyone but nobody has become a very good friend of mine and I don't think it would be easy for me to find one in this place! The major problem is, I have nothing to talk about with them. And being just the beginning, we're under scanner all 24 hrs. So, to avoid all the judgements, I play particularly safe. 

THE COLLEGE

My college is, well, too cheap for a private university. I had anticipated it to be more like the Manipal university but it turned out to be just better than your average govt. college. Even the campus is not that good. I mean, it's huge. Yes, spread across acres of land but there are a lots of different colleges within the same campus. The thing that pinches me the most is that there is no jogging or walking track. I am really fond of morning walks and running but there neither the people nor the college are interested in giving some space for such activities. Another difficulty of being among small towners. I say this because they are developing, no doubt. But are committing the same mistakes that happened in the metropolitan cities. You just subtract 10-15 years from Delhi and you'll get Bhopal. 

The teachers here, well, aren't backward or small towners. They are like Delhi teachers. Crank! Everywhere the teachers are much the same. Actually, they are good. Till now they have been. Atleast to me. But what I have heard from my seniors is a very dark picture of these good faces... 
Hence, the variable adjective. 

And the one thing which gets me really irritated is the drinking problem. 90% of the hostlers drink, then do their 'naare-baazi' and all that weird stuff. I felt like I have come among animals, the first time. The second thing is the use of "tapori" language. Hurling abuses and to such a great extent, was just yak! No sense of whether it's morning or evening, they'll have to use BC in every sentence they use. 

I am glad I used only english abuses. Now I think I will stop them altogether ;) 
Seeing such a behaviour has made me more mannerful I would say :P 

Finally,THE IMPACT ON ME

Spending even such a short time in hostel has turned out to be a bitterwseet experience which in my analysis has had a lot of impact on me. The first one being the change in my eating habits ! I had found the mess food really awful, every daal tasted the same. And the taste also bore the touch of central and south india, so naturally it repelled me. So, I would just eat 2-3 chapatis all throughout the day. But it's good. I have reduced around 4 kgs. I invite all the souls irritated by their weight to join me in the hostel -_-


Also, we're not allowed to roam alone in the campus, so I am just confined to my room and college for most of the time. It's a real shame that I haven't seen the actual Bhopal ever since I got there.
My college is also good 10-15 kms away from the main city and transportation is a real hassle. So, I intrinsically avoid going to places. 


The next thing I can think of is, now I value this life more than ever. Seeing cadavers and dissecting actual human heads, I now know the importance of human lives much better. And also the value of human relationships. What came to me as a rude shock was the fact that how come in this country of 1.2 billion people, there was nobody to claim these men and women? 

There are times when I am too irritated, just questioning myself "why did I ever come to this place?" and sometimes others, it's just normal. Neither too bad nor too good. And these mood swings will go on. The only change is, living in hostel I have realised that we take for granted our loved ones. They are subjected to our frustrations and irritations regularly but in hostel, you have to deal with these things yourself. You cannot vent out your anger on any other person. I think this has been the most ominous change I have witnessed in the hostel life. 
Now, the major question is "Am I enjoying the hostel life? " I don't think so. Well, frankly, if I would have got any other chance to stay near my home, I would have pounced upon it like a hungry lion. But it's the way of life. And I need to prove myself something this time and hence, I won't back off now. I just can't let my emotions guide my actions this time. It's been a new beginning, not a great one in my opinion but I am sure it would not turn out to be a mistake. 

 "Live like you own it, otherwise don't live it at all" 

So, that was all I had to say. I don't know when will I get time for my next post. BDS is a tough course. I had been underestimating it but now I realise how much one has to study for it. And a hostler is never free. Singing songs for the seniors even at 12pm at night, acting like a spot boy for them and so many other roles, is quite time consuming ;) We do it because seniors will only help us in the later years. For example, we have to carve out the whole tooth from a simple cuboidal wax block. Like sculpturing. So, seniors might change just one or two cuts of the block and our carvings would get an A. That's how it works in medical line. You help your seniors, they help you in return. 
I know everything won't turn out to be perfect but I hope I will make things perfect for myself. I will slog and slog some more in desperate times. I have many more stories to write about but I don't see their relevance. In the course of life, you just remember big things. Nobody remembers what they said to their friend on a particular day in class 5th. So, I am filtering every incidences whether they are worth remembering or not. I want to keep my mind as free as possible. I have better stuff to fill it with ;) 
I don't know how to end this post. I can't think of any flowery ending, so I'll just have to be contended with plain old bye and have a good life :) 

P.S- What if anybody from my college reads my blog? Would I be dead? :P 


Thursday, 12 September 2013

The wrong truth

AJ and SP were sitting at my home yesterday... I told them about my blog-

Me: Hey! Listen, I need to show you something..

AJ: What is it now, dude? Don't tell me you got another pair of shoes..

Me: What? Why? Well, actually, I did get myself one!

SP: Whoa, motherfucker! You are breaking all the records of girls even..

AJ: He has now every kind of shoe.. Let us gift him a barbie too !

SP: High-five!

Me: Finished? Coming to the point.. here look at this... It's my blog.

AJ: Blog? What the hell is that shit?

SP: It's a writing place.

AJ: You write? I bet our ***** mam will be really happy..

SP: Holy shit! Look at this!

*Reads some of these posts*

AJ: What the fuck dude! I don't talk like that!

SP: Why don't you mention me so often?

Me: Come on guys, I just post our conversations cos I have nothing else to post!

*in the meantime*

SP: AJ look here.. most of the blogs are of girls!

AJ: No kidding! Guys write shit! That's why blogging is a girls' thing!

*AJ and SP exchange piquant looks. And finally burst into laughter*

Me: Whatever dude! Atleast I do something creative in my free time

AJ and SP: You are awesome Ms. Singhal !


Sunday, 8 September 2013

What guys want from girls

This seems to be an interesting topic.. ;)
No nonsense, just bullet points straightaway-

  • A veryyy big beautiful smileeee! This is a must. A big smile that can cheer anybody up. That can make me forget who I am, that can make me realise that my sole purpose in life is to keep that smile intact.. a smile which can make me forget all my worries and a smile, for which I could accept my death.
  • A die hard lover! This is not gibberish but it's a fact. Any person, especially guys would want his better half to think of him as the best person in this world. That she should reside her full confidence in him and just let herself be his completely.
  • She must not talk to all the other boys with the same lovable tone.. ! i.e. I should get some special treatment.
  • Please, No Hypocrisy! You say one thing and do one another, what is happening? It is next to humiliation. I think this applies to men too.
  • She should keep her promises. No last moment no-show and all other embarrassing stuffs. I wouldn't want to wait for her to turn up sitting alone in a cafe!
  • Definitely honest. Brutally honest.
  • A patient listener and an active adviser.
  • A nice dressing sense would be appreciable..
  • And finally, good sex would do too.. sigh!
There are other things I would want to include too, but it would then become like my shaadi resume ;)We don't want that do we? 

chalo, fir let's talk about other things..
It's a bright for a sunday morning,no? It's been a good sunday so far. I went to the park. Made a new friend, read the Hindu,yes mera Hindu :D, mom ki thodi taang kheechi, and read some way old blogs! I am also listening to oldies right now! They are good..
Here's my playlist for a oldie, sunny Sunday :
1)Avril Lavigne's - Under my Skin and The best Damn thing(album)
2) Enrique iglesias- somebody's me
3) RDB- Tu bin Bataye, khalbali !
4) Rockstar- Kun faya kun
5) Delhi 6- Delhi 6, rehna tu
6) Lilly Allen- LDN, The fear

Among other things, I ate a parantha after 4 good years of abstinence. After today, I think my next bite of it would be in the next life..(seriously I hate paranthas). Don't you think we have so limited options for breakfast? Sandwiches,omelettes,fruits. That's all! Now please don't tell me aloo poori is an option o_O 

Want more? No? I'll tell you,anyways.. I have many plans for today-
1) I am going to watch ghanchakkar..yeah! right! :D
2) Then I'll be going for some shopping. I should not say 'some' :P
3) And I'll have another addition to my shoe collection. This time, I think I'll buy those flat, trendy sneakers.
4) And by night, I also plan to finish Anna Karenina. Straight story, no shit. And this book lasted whole 2 days! So, cheers for Tolstoy! 

Okay enough for now! This week, I plan to post everyday, obviously, these posts will be not as eccentric as my posts have been in the last few days *deep deep sighs* , here are the categories:-
1) Religion
2) Politics
3) Emotions
4) Sports
5) Environment

Yours truly,

A going to be Soorma bhopali :D 

Saturday, 7 September 2013

the good, the bad and the ugly

The good:


1) Got a rare "gift" from a very close friend of mine..I gave her my love in return! Haahha! bechari  :D :D
2) Bossed around my sister and told my sister that she was brought in our family from atop a garbage box!
3) Asked a KFC waiter where KFC was...
4) He brought my order up instantly after that.
5) Gave my mobile to a 4 year old boy while waiting at the Doctor's to play with.
6) And the milk of human kindness and joyfulness was pouring out of me while doing that.

The bad:


1) The doctor was doing vertigo test on me and brought out a big needle, shoved it in my ear tube. Just when he did, I stood up, he asked me what happened. I said I had something to ask him immediately- Are there more engineers in Bangalore or dogs?
2) He sighed for a minute and then finally said," Kutte kam honge"
3) And then he ordered 2 more attendants in the room :\
4) Saw shudh desi romance.. enough  said -_-
5)The AC above me was not working in the hall.
6) All other ACs were pretending to be heaters.


The ugly:

1) The uncle sitting besides me in the hall was constantly chewing paan and I couldn't bear it.
2) I had to give up my last row eat because of him :(
3) The boy to whom I gave my mobile, asked his mom," Mujhe is doctor ke paas kab tak aate rehna padega?"
4) I showed him my tongue after that!
5)  Doctor told me I was fine. o_O

Thursday, 5 September 2013

Teacher's day hate post

I just hate teachers. Hate them to death sometimes. This hatred towards teachers primarily arose from the last two years of my schooling. Because the teachers I got in 11th and 12th grade were the worst people you can ever deal with in the whole world. Take my physics teacher for example, a jat by birth, an idiot by choice and a dickhead when it came to teaching. A stark introvert and a big bully, he was a teacher that used to bully his students. And I am not saying this because I hate him to death but because he really was. You won't believe it but he occasionally used abusive language for his students. And my god! I was so surprised to see a master-type teacher in my private and so reputed school. I still remember my first meeting with him like it happened yesterday.
I was seated in the middle seat of the middle row in my class and turn by turn he was asking students their name and where they lived and also the subjects they hate. Came my turn and I was standing like pillar with a mouth and coyly told my name "Abhiss.. umm..Abhishek Singhal." He raised his eyebrows, murmured something to himself and thunderd, "abe tera naam kya hai?"
I was more surprised than scared because I never expected such gentle looking man could have such a speech. Boy, I got so angry at that time that I nearly exploded "Abhishek Singhal, dearest sir" I thundered even louder than him, my voice echoing through every corner of the room. He looked well-shaken and now in a slightly timid voice asked me where I lived. When I told so, he said out of the blue,"Mujhe pitwa mat diyo". And I was just dumb struck.

I had to spend my next two years with that bastard. Recalling some other instances, I once had a physics viva and rather than asking me the questions related to the practical, he started off on a very cool note by asking, which chapter is my strongest. I thought maybe he is coming back to his senses but boy! i was so wrong. He was actually preparing to humiliate me to every bone. Asked me the toughest question, I couldn't answer and he was just shouting at me, saying things I wish he hadn't said. I was so devastated by what followed. Like everything good in me has been slowly poisoned. I became more and more disinterested in school, their works and my marks there.. I just didn't give a damn anymore. Results were quite clear. I had fallen from 9.8 CGPA in 10th to 60% in 11th. People and mostly my parents related this slide down to different causes but only I knew what was actually going on. My parents knew too but somehow they couldn't show their helplessness in front of me.

To make things a little better, I thought taking private tuition lessons in 12th was going to be a good idea. Mostly because everyone else in our batch used to take tuitions from him. It was so wrong. Bullying children to take tuition from him. But, I thought it would be the best way to maybe end his bullying. Afterall, my life's at stake. So, I started taking private lessons from him but it also turned out to be such a bad idea. Actually, he didn't use to teach at all. He used compete. Every single time, saying he did this question right in his head and I couldn't do it with a pen even. And paying him Rs 800 an hour, his bullying in the school stopped. Miraculously or by money. But I knew it wasn't going to go like this. I was the star boy at my institute and falling to prey to such asshole, it was below my dignity. Ultimately, I left his classes for good. Bullying started again, but this time I was harsher than ever.
During my last board practical when the tensions were at their peak, he once again started barking at me for no reason "practical dene aa jaiyo!" And some other far fetched abuses. This was it. I was giving my biology practical, stopped writing at this very instant. Shoved away my answer sheet, got up from my chair, rolled up my sleeves, went straight up to him and got so close to his face that I could hear him breath restlessly. Being 6'1'' I  overshadowed him completely. I was visibly agitated. I said sternly,"Do you have a problem sir? "
And boy, the whole class was looking at the two of us. He said," Practical me chutti mat maar liyo!" "Already said and heard" I replied in crisp english. And the man went away. I wasn't expecting this. I was ready to punch him in the face but then again this man surprised me. He never ceased to do so. My biology teacher, was however, more compassionate and more attached to me. He calmed me down and told me to let it go. I complied.

That was the last incident I ever got involved in. I had realised the bigger picture that time. I had a target which was greater than him. He was just an obstacle. I had to overcome him. Sadly, I couldn't. The realisation came too late. The ship had already sailed and I wasn't anywhere near it.

The point is he overpowered me. Like nothing else has done before. He poisoned every good in me slowly and steadily. He damaged my faith, shattered my trust and ruined my emotions. I had to rebuilt myself. My confidence and my sense from scratch. I had completely lost faith in teachers and also in people. But time heals most of the things. And this time, I had whole one full year before me to build myself. I was going to the Aakash institute and the teachers there were so supportive. But still, I didn't let anyone of them get close to me. I was too afraid to think about the repercussions. And then once came a hard time in the institute even and I thought I wasn't ready to handle it. This time I had an option and therefore, I left. Hence, for good 7 months I studied at home without a teacher, without anyone to guide me and I was finally, so close to getting what I wanted, admission to MBBS but then again, the destiny had something else in store for me  and I ended up in BDS. Not bad but certainly not great. I many a times hold him primarily responsible for such a chain of events that lead me to believe exactly opposite of what I used to. I had to rebuilt myself and I think I forgot to include many important pieces of me. That's why I sometimes feel so hollow from inside. Now, I make friends very easily. Like never before. But my friendships are shallower than ever. I am now certainly more meaner and there is a lot more "I" than "we" in my conversations. All of this because of a single man who made taught me the biggest lesson of my life "What people really are". I miss the warmth I had, the compassion with which I used to do every task and the motivation that used  to drive me out of the bed every morning. Now, it's just like the mended glass which can never be the same once it had been cracked.
All of this, all the efforts of other teachers, all my efforts over the past few years, negated and poisoned to every inch because of this one person who I had innocently believed as my parent because we are told that teachers are just like our parents. 

Tuesday, 3 September 2013

A lover's voice

Your eyes sparkle like water in the lake..
Your hands float like a feather in the sky..
Your smile is worth dying for a thousand times..

If only I could be with you,
if only I could hold you..
My sleep will return..
My chase will stop..

A thousand Suns wouldn't match your fiery hair,
A thousand roses wouldn't match your magnificent lips,
A thousand deaths wouldn't match one life lived with you..

If only I could be with you..
If only I could hold you..


AJ: Shut the fuck up, you motherfucker! I am trying to read here!
Me:   :\




Thursday, 29 August 2013

Just another post.. :D

Hi everyone!  My college might be starting in the first week of September, but believe me the wait seems like eternity. From the past 3 years, I didn't have enough time to raise one eyebrow and look at poor moi today...having all the time in the world to waste...sigh! From the past two months, I have been literally doing nothing. Nothing. Period.
*people discern the relevance* ..... *deep deep sighs*

So, with all the time in the world to waste, I do anything but intellectual tasks. So, no mindful blog posts, no films (because I don't like to get involved) and certainly no video games! I thought I would've fared much better in sports but again something wrong happens everytime when I just start building a rhythm. I had made a routine to go to the park in the morning and cycling in the evening...but..but...but! someone doesn't want me to do all this! So, I have been down with fever, diarrhea due to IBS and what not! That means, I cant even eat solid food properly! Sigh!
And insomnia, well, it's on the peak! But don't worry, I am taking handful of medications for all these stuff. In the morning I have to pop in 5 tablets each- red one, white ones and yellow one! (So near to rainbow!)  In the afternoon and evening, 3 are doing just fine. poor me no? :(  Even I can't believe i am growing so old..  :D
So because my woes never seem to fade away (so much for COL!) a family meeting was called.. (another deep sigh). Now, the main agenda of these family meetings is to give a platform to everyone to give their opinions on a topic.. But the agenda today was to dissect my every bad habit and engrave each one on my forehead literally! >:
So, as expected I got an earful of lectures about my health, about I eating out too much and I being irresponsible ! :P (Don't weep for me! I am alright now! :D)
Now, the fun part in all that trouble you can imagine, was poor moi getting n number of calls from different people at the same time! (What a coincidence!)
Actually, it was quite funny overall...
my father- you do not listen to us at all !
(my phone rings)
me- I will call you later!
person- Why the hell have you not sent me those pictures yet?? (sounding angrier than even my father) :O
me- I am pre-booked right now.. you can scold me later! ;D

And I start laughing... my father sees his helplessness and decides it was enough for the day!:P

And I got a new phone? Did I tell you that? Oh! of course I didnt! :D
Nokia lumia 520! Since then, I am busy updating fb statuses, twitter updates and what's app messages! And poor friends of mine have to bear all my excitement! (I am not sighing for you :P)


So that was all for today.. I am going to end with some pictures I clicked when I used to go on cycling (weep :( weep :( true, they are not of good quality but it's all you can manage with 2 MP.

See the rainbow?



Why do people like roses only? Huh!


You don't have to see the cyclist,
see the weather!