Monday, 22 July 2013

Vaishno Devi Trip

I am exhausted ! But still I am writing a post for all of you...sigh. Oh please don't thank me now... I am always this benevolent! :P

Seriously, I am exhausted. I have just been back from Vaishno Devi and after ascending and descending 26 km of mountains every muscle of my body is screaming with aches ! Now I won't be reviewing my trip like we used to do after undertaking school trips but would just share some momentous experiences I had during the trip. Before I start let me warn you that you'll find use of "fuck" a lot and you'll be given too much information at some places. So proceed on your own risk!

I was fuck bored past two weeks as my fucking no-good holidays are going on. Yeah, holidays, cos I am waiting for a counselling date for a college!  Just out of the blue my I got a fucking idea to go to vaishno devi to have some sort of change. I always loved the idea of trekking and what better place to test your strength than vaishno devi ! So as excited as I was, I announced, no, I boasted that I will reach the bhawan within 2 hours. *proud look*.

Now, within  2 days all the necessary arrangements for the trip were made, train seats were booked and me and my dad were ready to outdo each other during the trip. It's a real perk to have a father working in railways.

Now my experience:-
  • First AC coupe are just next to crap. I was bitten by a spider there!
    No I have not become the spider man!
  • I couldn't sleep in the train. I listened to every fucking artist during that night. Rihanna, Ellie Goulding, One direction, JT, Pink, ludacris,U2,the verve and what not! Even the fucking Miley Cyrus! (She is now not as hot as she used to be...sigh! )
That was all about the train. Then we reached Jammu, took Innova to Katra and it was a gr8 ride especially at 6 in the morning.
  • At Katra, our hotel room was big enough for atleast 8 people and its view was amazing. What was also amazing that its owner (probably in his mid 30s) touched my dad's feet and I was so laughing at him, teasing him all the way,"Dad, aap buddhe ho gaye ho! " :D
Then we got ready to trek up to the bhawan, and my packing was just like britishers I tell you. Bags, bottles, I never felt so organised  !
That part aside, we reached banganga(the lowermost checkpoint) at about 10 and waited for more than an hour to get past the security checks. It was tormenting.Finally, at 11:30 probably, we started our trek.
  • I was already tired but still continued to drudge on. It was raining heavily on saturday and we were literally walking in clouds.
       I then noticed something- All the people undertaking the journey were mostly males. And that too of lower category. A female specimen of human species was hardly spotted.
    Now, imagine my plight- walking in rain and that too uphill, and not a single girl to be seen! Fuck! My eyes got too tired !
    Finally I had to say this to my dad- "Daddy, sookha pad raha hai ! "
    "Par beta yahan par to itni tez baarish ho rahi hai ! Teri tabiyat to theek hai na?" was what I got in return. Poor dad ! Sookhe ke baare me aap kya jano??? :D :D *puppy face*
  • Now, back to trekking, I found the slope too steep and too wet. With the horse shit scattered all around the path, it was all the more a horrendous experience of trekking. For my dad, however it was a different thing. Somewhere in the middle I lost him. Yes, he was literally running on the mountain! So, I was left water-less, company-less and money-less during the way!
    I got so angry at him for leaving me like this that I might have shouted "WTF , WTF " too loud to be heard by people far ahead of me. Finally, I had to beg to donkey-walla for his phone as my prepaid number did not work in J&K. I called my dad, gave him a piece of my mind and the donkey-walla could not gather up courage to ask me for money after seeing my grim face! Anyways, I thanked him in the best possible way and continued to ardhakuvari  which is the mid-way of the journey.

  • By the time I reached there I was already dead to every bone. Just then came the taunt I expected," So I am not as old as you are "   :\
  • So I had to ride at the back of a donkey/pony/horse for the rest of the way up and it was terrible to see the plight of that horse. I touched his neck for bonding but found it was quite swollen due to the beatings by his master. I wish I could have done something for these poor animals.

  • Now, we had to catch the train the same day at 8:30 pm and we had reached the Bhawan at just 3:30 pm. So there was no time for luch or anything, and we hurried to prayers and then at 4:45 pm raced back to Katra. I ran, my dad ran and because my dad had seen my real age decided to take a horse with us. It also ran. And we reached Katra in exact 2 hours whereas it normally takes 3 hours to reach down. There was no time for praising each other as we had a train to catch at 8:30 pm. So, we just told the driver to go as fast as he can and he literally drove at 100km/hr during the return trip to Jammu.
    Finally we were able to catch the train in just the nick of time.
Other things I noticed :-

  • There are people everywhere. Like cockroaches they have messed up every fucking place.
    But in the eyes of god we are equal. We are small and our place in the social hierarchy is quite insignificant to him.

  • We plan too much and God disposes each and every one of them, all for our own good :)

  • Now, the main thing- girls travel more during the evening. I spotted many gr8 specimens when we were descending down ! :D :D

  • Most of them were married :(

  • Parle-G biscuits are also a feast if you are starving to death !

  • Nike shoes are the best shoes for hill-stations. My shoes look as good as they were before the trip. My dad's Adidas's shoes look like they have been to a crime scene!

  • Riding uphill on a horse is a pleasure you shouldn't miss. And riding on a horse downhill is a plight you should never endure! I sat on the horse during my descend for half an hour or so and now I am not able to sit without a pillow! And FYI- it hurts badly at some place else too :( :(

  • The horse walla was asking me again and again where I was from. He was pointing out to the fact that I was out of breath in such a short distance. I just kept consoling myself by saying,'I am going to be a fucking doctor for god's sake, not milkha singh! " :|

  • I want to go again there, this time completing the trekking all by myself.

  • If it hadn't been for first AC in our return trip, you all would've probably been reading my obituary by now! It's not that fucking good but certainly not as bad !

  • I have to go to Bhopal this Sunday, so I hope I will get over my fucking boredom. :\

  • Beyonce is better than Riri. And lady gaga is best of them all. Also Justin beiber dosen't sound like a girl anymore. He sounds like a dinosaur. Seriously, his love songs, I mean what the fuck, they are like you in 80s. Pink floyd is even archaic but their songs still got the groove!

  • Never mind my bickering about the songs, just enjoy the rest of your fucking day as I am. 
This was the view from our hotel.

This was what walking in clouds like

P.S- I am watching my sister meddling with her new xperia which she got as a gift on her 14th birthday! This is outrageous! I am fuck 19 and I still can't get a firefox bicycle !!! And what did I get on my 14th birthday? Kisi aur ki shaadi ka dinner!! Where is the equality these days???? :\

Anyways, jai mata di !

Monday, 8 July 2013


                                                 "Success is the best revenge"

Said the wryly man to his counterpart as he sipped his drink from the exquisite persian cup. He looked handsome, suave and his well-developed 17-inch biceps roared of his masculinity.  He seemed like some kind of CEO of some company, given the fact he was dining at one of the best hotels of Delhi- The Claridges. I happened to be seated behind him and was hearing their conversation quite eagerly when suddenly they stopped talking altogether. The man turned around, looked at me and said sternly in a perfect British accent," Do you want something?". I was already gasping at his impeccable hairstyle when I paused my admiration for a second. I knew how embarrassed it should be to be pin-pointed of such rude manners. But my mind was just swinging back and forth from their conversation to the present scenario. I could wait no longer and blurted out," Oh! No, not at all. I couldn't help but listen to your conversation about revenge." I said. He was as impressed by my speech as I was because it oozed with confidence and not some random pauses of umm, aa etc. "Yes." He announced," Success is the best revenge". I wanted to muddle with his brain, playfully, so I said wittily," And you seem to have gotten lots of it." My last sentence brought an enormously broad grin to his face and after exchanging some pleasantries, we decided to leave the topic as is and I concentrated back on the Belgian chocolate cake in front of me.

Coming back home, I let my brain digress about the topic some more. Suddenly, a mild realisation hit me complementing the glass cup I had dropped down at the same instant. It's pieces lie shattered around my feet. But rather than picking them up I rushed to read the HT sunday magazine. It had the article about Anurag kashyap and again I noticed the same thing I had been observing all around myself.

          "You need to be successful to prove that others were wrong to underestimate you"

This mantra was what I had been fed right from the beginning. And it's implications have been reverberating around me for quite some time. The cacophony of the same mantra had been humming very intensely during the last two years of school. I had already developed a hatred towards it, given the fact I am blunt, in my speech and in my ways. I plan later and act first. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Coming back to the topic, a lot has been already said about it. A lot more is yet to come. Afterall, many lifestyle books and many therapy sessions are based on it. How can one challenge the sanctity of this mantra? But I can and I will.

                                            "Revenge is the best revenge"

This is not exactly the mantra I dwell on but still it sounds way much better than our previous one.
We live in a dharmic world. Though many of us do not follow the religion as rigidly as we used to but religion always gets behind our ass. And it pinches us in the right area. Today, it is coming back to even with us in the form of lifestyle gurus and doctors who have excellently conundrum-ised the religious principles to more suitable demands of modern assholes. The favourite one being-"Forgive and live on". But do they fully tell you to let go? No. We are told to live with a grudge which can only be erased if we become successful in what we endear. How is that supposed to calm me down?

I had also embarked about this notion 'success is the best revenge'. But I have learned that what I am really doing is just shifting my goal from the larger target and giving undue importance to lame people. People who are in the hindsight not even worth anything to me. How can you live with a grudge all along the way? Atleast, I cannot dwell upon this feeling of 'revenge' within me. I cannot let it guide my every action, motivated to a wrong cause.Our actions, maybe to impress others or maybe even to benefit ourselves don't you think should have something more substantial, something more concrete force behind them rather than revenge? This notion to avenge becomes a burden before we even know it. Why do you think all these students are committing suicides these days? They have been fed on a dangerous principle. It will backfire. Depression is mostly about the things we were not able to achieve. But the thought of impressing other people is also a major factor behind it, don't you think? Basically revenge acts as a slow poison and it's effects go unaccountable most of the times. I think I am diluting my point here. So without digressing further, the crux of the whole instalment is that you cannot live your life on a platform that itself is quite shaky. We need better principles to guide us. And we surely need to act much more wisely than we are now. The world would have been a better place if we did.

Wednesday, 3 July 2013

My Morning Odyssey

Mornings are cited as the best time to start our work. There is "Satvik-ness" in the air and don't you feel somehow all the air got automatically filtered? It feels newer and fresher for some strange reason. But not many of us can enjoy this time of the day. And no prizes for guessing who.

   I adore mornings, i really do. Like God's own time. I picture mornings as a beautiful girl rising from her sleep. her locks flowing down incessantly as she curls out of her delicate bed. Her smooth, soft hair shimmer like gold when the first rays of the sun kiss them gently. Then she gets out of her bed, stretching her arms like a princess and the world stops for a second to adore her. Her face glimmers  even more and your world just rises and falls with her awakenings!

  *pauses for a second, remembers something and a sheepish smile spreads across his face*

Now that's how I portray the mornings of every girl. Only girls can look beautiful all throughout the day,especially the mornings. And a girl in yoga pants in morning, I tell you is not a bad sight at all !

  But my mornings, well, let's just say, I do not get up from my bed so gracefully. For the past two months or so, I never even saw the face of mornings. The sun would have crossed the Zenith when my life began. But now, I am trying to fall back into a more "normal" routine and it's such a pain in the ass. Let me tell you more about my breathtaking mornings :D -

  A boy more than 6 feet tall is sleeping hideously in his small bed in a rather small room. For some reason, he has an AC installed but to his bad luck, it just creates the winters of Siberia when it is on  probably because it is enormously big for his small room. The boy clenches to his sheet more tightly, sleeping like a curled up dog with his legs just about to touch his head. His father sees the plight of the boy and switches off the AC but forgets to open the doors and windows for ventilation. So, he gets up sensing he is just near about choking to death. He sees the time, make calculations of the time he spent sleeping and when he found out it's been just 4 hours, he switches on the AC once more. He tries to doze off only to rise half an hour later to switch off his sister's mobile ringing incessantly in the other room. Again he tries to sleep but for no good.

  So, he clumsily gets up like a slave chained up to the neck, with his head bursting with pain. Makes way to the dining table where he positions himself just at the centre of everybody's attention. But when nobody cheers him up , he wimps across the hall to take a glance in the mirror. His hair seem to resemble the body hair of a frightened cat,the face all cramped up with crease lines of the fight his old rugged pillow offered when he placed his head on him, and eyes falling out of their place like an alien. He literally fixes his face, decides to witness the weather outside. Walks to the balcony with his sleepy, dirty eyes and views the world as a king who would take a view of his kingdom. Nuts, i tell you..He doesn't have a kingdom.

 The only sights he could get were an uncle in his bare minimum, hanging their bulging belly out of his balcony and disgustingly picking up his nose. He looks the other way, only to find a fatter aunty staring at him like she is seeing a chimpanzee from the zoo. He still not gives up hope and makes his cranky eyes work harder to gather a view only to find more hustle-bustle than even a fish market. He drops the idea of going to the park, scratches his head like his dog's belly, takes one last long look at the world, sways his head sideways and murmurs,"FUCK YOU"