Wednesday, 3 July 2013

My Morning Odyssey

Mornings are cited as the best time to start our work. There is "Satvik-ness" in the air and don't you feel somehow all the air got automatically filtered? It feels newer and fresher for some strange reason. But not many of us can enjoy this time of the day. And no prizes for guessing who.

   I adore mornings, i really do. Like God's own time. I picture mornings as a beautiful girl rising from her sleep. her locks flowing down incessantly as she curls out of her delicate bed. Her smooth, soft hair shimmer like gold when the first rays of the sun kiss them gently. Then she gets out of her bed, stretching her arms like a princess and the world stops for a second to adore her. Her face glimmers  even more and your world just rises and falls with her awakenings!

  *pauses for a second, remembers something and a sheepish smile spreads across his face*

Now that's how I portray the mornings of every girl. Only girls can look beautiful all throughout the day,especially the mornings. And a girl in yoga pants in morning, I tell you is not a bad sight at all !

  But my mornings, well, let's just say, I do not get up from my bed so gracefully. For the past two months or so, I never even saw the face of mornings. The sun would have crossed the Zenith when my life began. But now, I am trying to fall back into a more "normal" routine and it's such a pain in the ass. Let me tell you more about my breathtaking mornings :D -

  A boy more than 6 feet tall is sleeping hideously in his small bed in a rather small room. For some reason, he has an AC installed but to his bad luck, it just creates the winters of Siberia when it is on  probably because it is enormously big for his small room. The boy clenches to his sheet more tightly, sleeping like a curled up dog with his legs just about to touch his head. His father sees the plight of the boy and switches off the AC but forgets to open the doors and windows for ventilation. So, he gets up sensing he is just near about choking to death. He sees the time, make calculations of the time he spent sleeping and when he found out it's been just 4 hours, he switches on the AC once more. He tries to doze off only to rise half an hour later to switch off his sister's mobile ringing incessantly in the other room. Again he tries to sleep but for no good.

 
  So, he clumsily gets up like a slave chained up to the neck, with his head bursting with pain. Makes way to the dining table where he positions himself just at the centre of everybody's attention. But when nobody cheers him up , he wimps across the hall to take a glance in the mirror. His hair seem to resemble the body hair of a frightened cat,the face all cramped up with crease lines of the fight his old rugged pillow offered when he placed his head on him, and eyes falling out of their place like an alien. He literally fixes his face, decides to witness the weather outside. Walks to the balcony with his sleepy, dirty eyes and views the world as a king who would take a view of his kingdom. Nuts, i tell you..He doesn't have a kingdom.


 The only sights he could get were an uncle in his bare minimum, hanging their bulging belly out of his balcony and disgustingly picking up his nose. He looks the other way, only to find a fatter aunty staring at him like she is seeing a chimpanzee from the zoo. He still not gives up hope and makes his cranky eyes work harder to gather a view only to find more hustle-bustle than even a fish market. He drops the idea of going to the park, scratches his head like his dog's belly, takes one last long look at the world, sways his head sideways and murmurs,"FUCK YOU"

17 comments:

  1. Lmao..I am a girl. My morning are nothing like that. I wage an epic war everyday trying not to get kit of bed. I lose this war everyday and I am nowhere near to beautiful especially not in the mornings. At least the only fat I see is my own.

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    1. Don't worry, different people have their own definitions of 'beautiful'. What's the harm in some imagination though?

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  2. I got quite the morning laugh out of this. You should write a memoir :-)

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    1. oh! really? Was it so funny? I am glad you liked it. And point taken-'write a memoir the next time'

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  3. I was a morning person once upon a time. Marriage has spoilt me. I can't open my eyes now and when I do, I see the husband sleeping and I want to fall asleep again. But, I drag myself with all my might and get on with the day. :) Getting on with the day also has become a difficulty now.

    P.S. Btw, I love the way you write. Your language is impeccable. :)

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    1. I can see your plight :D Your husband has literally spoilt you :P :D
      And do I write so well? I am speechless!

      *The best comment award goes to- POOJA* Cheers and applause from all around!!

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    2. I believe my wife has same views like you and the moment I get up after getting near to heart attack by checking time my wife wakes up and says "Oh!, you are gonna late today" and I say "Oh really, then why didn't you wake me up and why you slept again after seeing my sleeping" :D

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  4. I've been there, to a time of hating mornings!
    hilarious piece.
    But I guess, you'll reach this space too, where you want to make sure every morning is an early one. Early work outs are a bliss. But that comes eventually.

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  5. i just loved it...i can't stop laughing after reading this..!!
    great one dude..!!

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  6. hahah! nicely written...loved the last para ;)

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  7. If you would have written more lines on that girl then I surely could have fallen in love with her. :D

    All I see after getting up from my bed is loo.... so no kingdom for me.

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    1. And I would have imagined to have fornicated that girl !
      (Always two steps ahead! ha!)
      Anyways, I am glad you read my post. And loo is not any lesser than the kingdom for us, no? :D

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  8. Ha! How can anyone think about anything else but sleep in the mornings? Great post but needless to say I couldn't comprehend your imagination about a beautiful girl getting up in the morning so cheerfully. I am an owl and always grumpy for couple of hours after waking up in the morning.

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  9. Haha.. Bhaiya kya baat hai.. Iss post me romance hai fun hai, tum toh by god all rounder ho rae ho! :P

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