Sunday, 31 March 2013

The Task in sight

As I sit here before my laptop, there is quite a hustle bustle going on out there. Much of it doesn't relate to me.The children are playing like anything in this scorching sun and obviously, more of these little creatures come together, the more noise they generate.We must really learn this art of not getting bored from them. Their curiosity as intriguing to me as those stars out there.
Speaking  about stars, they are not working for me. I am right now sitting at the most pressurised time of my life. There's too much to do in a very short time. It's stressful and beautiful. Beautiful because I had gone through all of this the last year and had foreseen that such time would come again definitely. No matter how much we prepare, rising up at that moment really makes all the difference. To this I would like to quote morpheus from The matrix-" There is a a difference between knowing the path and walking that path".I can now agree with him. It's also fun how we handle stress. Some of us work wonders and others just deflate. I come in the latter bracket but I am always hoping to find a place for me in the former.
I don't know how my life is going to shape up in the coming months and thinking about it, makes it all the more scary. But as it is said,'Fear the fear itself' I am from now on going to stop bothering about this big daunting task. The less I'll think about it the more peaceful shall I become. But it doesn't mean I am not going to do anything about it. I am going to work even harder to remove this boulder out of my way and wouldn't let negative thoughts negate my efforts.
So with this firm resolution I might as well bid adieu to this blogging space for sometime now. In the hindsight, I knew it was never a good time to start blogging but anyway I did. I would definitely return after May once I am through with the 'tasks'. I hope things shall turn out my way.

Till then-

Have a happy life :)

PS- I am really really sorry for that unfinished story. I just didn't have enough time to complete all of it. After May, I will first of all finish that story. Sorry once again :-(

Wednesday, 27 March 2013

Finding happiness Part I

I was reading the comment of Mr. rastogi, a fellow blogger( Notebook ) that struck a chord somewhere. The first thing that caught my attention was what he wrote absolutely in the end-"I am trying to find my happiness and hope you find yours". This post explains my viewpoint through a long story on the same theme "finding happiness".


Not very long time ago, a man in his early 20s was working late in the night at his home. As the hands in the clocked moved forward, his efforts did too. He perspired profusely as he kept on working even harder. For him, his ambition was all that he cared about. So passionate he was about his work that he would not come out of house for weeks all together. From the beginning itself, he knew the mantra- that you need to run faster than the time to become the best. But he was not working this hard to earn money, nor to become successful. He was a different kind of animal. A control freak by nature. It was his need to work hard, now his addiction. Working hard calmed him down.  It made him feel powerful as if his tasks used to empower him with control. Control that existed beyond the physical realms of this world. His neighbours weren't much aware of his nature, for he never tried to bond. He showed them no emotion whatsoever. It wasn't his need. Was he like this from the beginning? Partially. His efforts were always more concentrated than his peers and so were his actions. Winning was not his objective but working hard was. Working hard in everything-running, reading,writing everything. Such display of emotionless efforts was a unique experience even for his mentors who always tried to learn more about him. There was a subtle atmosphere of secrecy and curiosity around him always, that made some people panic and some other few rant about him. But no one could ever judge what he really was.

 But one person saw in him what others could not see. Right in the first meeting he saw the intriguing glow in the boy's eyes as he spoke to him. That person was his swimming coach Mr. Diego. Mr. Diego was apart from being a fine swimmer himself had been an ex-astrophysicist but due to recurring events of epilepsy he could not cope up with the demandings of his job. So, he ultimately had to bow down and give up his career. He was a man of high self respect and ego. So, obviously he couldn't gulp down such humiliation that he lost to himself. To make himself rise again, he did what no man could have ever thought of doing. Not only did he spend his next few years in the complete aloofness the coldest parts of the world, he found a permanent cure for his epilepsy all by his himself. But he did not return then. He had found his loneliness more compelling than anything he wanted. After some years he returned back as a different man entirely. A man who valued his instincts more than others can appreciate, someone who doesn't need reason to live, for someone who doesn't seek the reason at all. This ability of him also made him one of a  kind. He could see the things in people, normal persons couldn't even dream of. His same sight spotted that boy, bringing a subtle, satiable smile on his face that came only when he used to look at far away galaxies during his days as an astrophysicist.

 During their first incident Mr. Diego were fiercely keeping tab on his new students who came to learn to swim. All the boys were terrified of him as he constantly shouted,"faster! faster! Move your legs idiots!" The boys were kicking their legs as fast as they could without any conscious effort, for their scare was enough to make them work. None knew how to kick in water, whether their feet had to be rigidly straight or soft like the flow of water. No one cared. But one boy among them was not scared of Mr. Diego. He was kicking his legs way faster than anyone else and most importantly knew what he was doing. Mr. Diego immediately saw this fearless boy and went over him. As against all odds he didn't ask for his name at first instead he shouted at him trying to know whether will he be actually scared or not. But the boy wasn't. And Mr. Diego knew he had found the diamond. So, he embarked on with the boy and made him his new life companion. Their relationship was not like teacher-student nor like father-son, it was much simpler. You must have seen lions when they're moving in groups. They are not in awe of each others power but they respect it. While hunting they compliment and supplement it. Their relationship was much similar. After many meetings he came to know that the boy used to live in a foster home and how he reached  them was still unknown. Mr. Diego was even more pleased to hear it. Their bonding became so strong that he even gave a name to the boy for himself-'Arturo'.

Arturo and Mr. Diego grew together. When Arturo was 16, he ran in a marathon with Mr. Diego and while he was just 19 he and Mr. Diego had already been to several continents together, in some to test their physical endurance and in some to test mental. Results were always same, both of them became an unbreakable force. Both of them had only each other as their friend, family and companion. Arturo only met his step-parents on Christmas holidays, for he used to spend most of his time with Mr. Diego.

 One fine evening, Mr. Diego left a rather a strange note to Arturo.It read-"I have to immediately leave the town, for an old acquaintance needs my help. I shall return only when I am finished with my task which may take a long time. Till then, I believe you shall continue what you are doing. My presence now is minimally needed, therefore, I don't think you shall have any problem living all by yourself for sometime now."
An year has passed since this incident and Arturo has still not heard from Mr. Diego. He now lives in his step-parent's house who died a few years ago  in a plane crash. Arturo though misses Mr. Diego he never gives himself opportunity to accept his emotions. He still remains highly engrossed with the projects he has assigned himself and he was still working up on this project of his that night. Even after so many sleepless nights, Arturo couldn't reach the satisfactory level of his work. But that night was different. His hands worked extra-ordinarily fast and most of his work was by far acceptable to his standards. As he was busy finishing up his work, he heard someone knocking at the door. He was miffed as his concentration broke and at the same time quite surprised as he did not have many visitors and that too at this time of the night.
to be continued

P.S- The next part of the story might take longer than expected. Sorry to leave with the incomplete story here. And it is purely fictitious and self thought.

Sunday, 24 March 2013

Happy Budday chotu !

Hi chotu,
hope this letter finds you in good shape. I am as you know just going through all those monotonous stuff I told you last time. Except one thing is changed. I had stopped going to the classes since November last. It was becoming awry and I had to take a decision.  Anyways, I don't think it worked any wonders for me but I am proud that I took some stand. i think you'll have first made fun of me but then would have praised me. You had this quality to think rationally over matters. Now, I don't mean to sound overly pathetic but this time is the worst time of my life. It ought to be. I am glad you are not here to witness all this. Actually,I am a bit jealous. I have to go through all of this hell and you have just evaded all of it. Sahil, as usual is into that 'chilli potato' state. He always will be. I haven't heard much from him since the last year. He has moved on and I didn't think it would have been so fast. I think it can be attributed to his 'girl'friends as well as so many 'boy'friends! I try to learn to live in the moment from him but ultimately, I scornfully return back to my original state, much like you. And speaking of states do you still remember that kashmiri ch^&*%# incident? We both had so much fun that time. And hey, what is this deal with your sister? I sent her a fb friend request and she still hasn't accepted it. Is there something wrong with me? I also sent a similar request to RJ but she did not respond too. We could have played another prank on them like we played on taploo! I still roll all over the floor laughing at that incident. Oh! man, we had so many hilarious incidents! if I start listing them, it will take like 200 hours! But some of them are priceless. Like the way you played Namaaz in the middle of the class or how wittily you gave cranky answers to our one and only Ranjit sir. I think all of this happened just the other day. And couldn't you have found a better girlfriend than Shefali? She is rude with me and I don't like her for that reason. And she is such a draamebazz. She just starts crying hearing your name and I feel like slapping her! I can't tolerate it. Am I losing it? No. So why is she? It makes it harder for me if you'll know.

Keeping the old memories aside, your father and mother are hopefully alright. Your sister is too. I couldn't muster the courage to meet them once again. And you know, I have always gotten this feeling that your mother didn't like me same way as my mother didn't like you. Not in the literary sense but both of them had qualms over our wild activities.I didn't have any plans for you this birthday for obvious reasons. Shit! dude, why does your budday falls on these days when either our exams are going on or our results are being announced? The last time, you ditched me for your girlfriend (rappy right? Too bad shefali came late) and ended up completely ruining your date but I still did not say anything. I should have at that time itself given you a piece of my mind. I searched my diary and found I haven't written good stuff about you either(sorry bro). But now when I remember, I think I had spent the best days of my life with you. Those were so awesome that  I still can't ride my bike nor can I go to et al, nor can I eat chilli potato! And there are many nor(s) I can't do. After your demise I never gathered up myself. I mean how could you be so cruel? On friday we talked after such a long gap. And it was such a lengthy one and I have to admit that I was in a hurry. I had to study and thought you were wasting my time. I think we talked about after a month or so because we had been avoiding each other ever since we dropped our year. But on Sunday you died without even giving any notice or anything. How good? If you ever come to life once again, na, mark my words, I will myself beat you to death! If I knew that would have been our last talk.... Maybe it was in my destiny to see you for one last time.
But let's not be so emotional, you died, good for you, bad for me. I heard you are living a life up there. If you meet God, please ask him to help me to clear my exam,  and yes I am selfish ha!right in your face! Living is a lot harder than dying. Bad thing is you died a virgin or did you??LOL! Just so that you know I haven't made any friend ever since you died but not because I am so emotional about you. No, because I have stopped interacting to people and i will never let anyone become this much closer ever. It hurts rather badly. I don't miss you but somehow you always spring in my memory. I want to delete my time with you so I have developed a hatred towards you. Hatred makes it easy to forget someone but not for an asshole like you! I want to hate you but hating you makes me feel scared. I am scared now for most of the days. I analysed this fear but couldn't find what I am scared of.

You do look awful in my spectacles! And small !
This your budday right? So why the hell am I talking about me? And I wish you a very happy budday. You could've turned 19 today but no, you are such dog that you decided it wouldn't suit you to live. We had many plans together about what we shall do when we get into a college. Really, you are a dawg! I am now so damn pissed off that you didn't invite me to your budday party this time also. When I'll die na, I'll give you good kick in the ass up there! 6 months just vapourised like anything. It seems it was just yesterday when I talked to you. And you know the most hilarious part of all your dying episode- I met shefali outside the institute. She was in tears and must have completely lost your mind, That's why she said this"agar mayank accident se marta to fir bhi acceptable tha, but aise hi mar gaya. bina kisi wajah ke. From just a concussion." I didn't know how to react. She had made up her mind for your death sentence too! I am in a great awe for such great people that exist in this world ! Chal bhai, now I shall return back to my schedule, I am lagging in it yet again. Pray for me that I get through this time and enjoy your life up there. I shall keep you posted. You know where to see!

Friday, 22 March 2013

The story behind I heard you

This name 'I heard you' was not the first one I had in mind while starting a blog. I thought of something like- life is life, or other similar stuff. But very unsurprisingly, all of them had been taken. So, I was thinking hard what could be a suitable name for my blog, just when my mother yelled at me from behind saying,"Yashu!  Laptop Band kar de! Ye me tujhe teesri baar keh rahi hoon!" (Yashu is my home name by the way). I started thinking," Main pehle hi hairan-pareshan uske upar se ye talwar aur !" (sigh!) So I yelled back at her saying," I heard you ma, Loud and clear for 3 times. I will come when I am finished" And voila! here it was. I had just found the perfect name for my blog- "I HEARD YOU".
I heard you mom
I heard you dad
I heard you this world
I have heard ya' all

P.S-  I don't know why it shows I heard you in the blogger profile as my name when it had to be abhishek instead. If anyone has a solution to it, do mail it to me.

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

no suitable title

I am not quite sure how do I begin with this post. My head is still spinning from the after effects of Jolly LLB. No this is not a movie review post. I am not that crude. But what i am going to write about is, my excitement to see how some people have garnered this art of making themselves the epicentre of this universe. They literally roll every stone in their favour. I am undoubtedly a bit jealous, not because they are good but because I am not. My awe for such self-pretentious people never seems to subside.
 I can also not buy the fact you have to show what you are to everybody, a general mantra nowadays. I am an ambivert(phew!) and most of the times I have to present myself as a different person all together, in different situations. I can be very bland to some of my friends and very warm to some lucky others( ooh dear! I being a hypocrite! what? when? Nooooo! ) Even if you don't agree with me you'll definitely agree with this old saying- we cannot beat every beast with the same stick or more appropriately in hindi - 'Hum sabhi ko ek hi lathi se nahi haank sakte'. It's really wonderful in a way.
 I am surprised to see how many roles we can play in a single day. And we are much better than this acting clan. In my classes, I am a quiet and patient listener. I talk no bullshit and have a serious kinda reputation. And my friends in my colony know me as wild, untamable and   disastrously witty. And at home my folks believe...umm...I don't know what they think because I never cared about it. And nor still do. So, my point is, it's not bad if you do not show your real self to someone if it is benefiting you. And what exactly is this real self anyway? Is it I am chirpy, goofy to some people and serious and boring to some others? Frankly I myself don't know how I am. And would it matter to me anyway to know who I am? I think not. Some topics are better left untouched. Some answers lead to a more complex problem and I am quite contended with the problems in my hand. It will be unwise to call for some more. 

Thursday, 14 March 2013


I Just feel like this title "baaaah!". And there is a reason for me to feel like this. I am doing just ok ok on my front where I should have been excellent. The pressure of incomplete tasks is compounding every hour which makes it all the more difficult for me to execute my plans. 
But that's my problem and I can find a solution for it. But what about the problems that are going around me? I am just constantly bugged by different kinds of noises all around me. Giving you some examples, I can hear every sound you just name it-
1) Construction work, especially that irritating stone cutting noise.
2) Old and new songs on a 10k watt woofer, also a gift of my neighbour.
3) Children of the workers crying etc. etc.
4) Beggars, vendors shouting really really loud
5) Temple people, mosque people and every other idiot who propagates his religion by really noisy means!
6) Not to mention about crazy people fighting with each other on as trivial issues as car parking.

And what not? I mean my home is not jut like my home these days. Neither is Delhi. I just want to leave this city. It's not worth living here anymore..aaahh not again! Now a drilling machine! How well could this possibly go?

And just to vent it out, I saw a man hit a dog very badly with a stone this morning. The cry of the dog was just so impulsive that I wanted to beat that man to death for that! Alas! He is my grandfather's friend !
The second thing is, there lives a mad couple next door and they had a adopted a boy. That ought to be good, right? Not so. That boy has been crying since two hours now because they won't let him inside. And this is a constant feature. He is just 8 or 9 years old and watching him being flogged by them makes me sick. Why can't I do anything about it? And they talk about child rights! Hypocrites! India is diseased!

I really want to leave this place because people here are sick! There are buggers everywhere. You try to be good with them and what they do is try to climb over your head. You give them one favour and instead of being thankful for it, they try to extract as many as possible! 
Why did I have to be born in such an uncivilised country? Or why did I have to be educated to be civilised at all? 

The politicians here are morons. people who choose them are idiotic and I am just pathetic to write all of this here!

Friday, 8 March 2013

Thriving the Optimist In You #2

Now before you say anything about my punctuality, let me tell you some issues had cropped up (huh?) and they are still goin' on and on and on. Nevertheless, I have taken time out of my so busy schedule to write a post for all of you[sleeping and eating require effort, now no one says a thing now :| ]
Therefore, i expect that all of you will read this post as diligently as i am writing it right now.

So my final hacks for being optimistic are:-

6) Exercise. Everybody has already yelled about it so much that I don't think I need to bug you with another detail. However, for mentally challenged people here's the deal- when you exercise good hormones called endorphins are released more and the your blood circulation reaches an optimum level. Who wouldn't want that?phew!

7) Control your anger. If you are angry chances are high that you'll end up doing things you'd regret later. So, can you remain optimistic when you are full of guilt and remorse?

8) Help other people selflessly. Even if someone isn't very appreciable or was bad with you in the past, do help them no matter how angry you are with that person.

why does this help?
Because when you help somebody you're letting go of your ego and showing humility. By helping your enemy you are decreasing the friction between you two and therefore, are rising in eyes of everybody else. You might not get any appreciation at that point of time but believe me in the long run it's only you who'll reap the benefits of your selfless efforts. People might not acknowledge you
at that time but they will know in their hearts that you had helped them. It will be just a matter of time before they accept it.
So, what will you get from it?
Well, first of all, you'll be making goodwill which is a very important thing wherever you are.
Next, you'll virtually have no feeling of enemosity for anyone and my god, what can you not do with such a brain!Such Feelings do take up space on our brains like viruses in hard drives.
And it goes without saying that you should be appreciative, generous and less faultfinding for others. Just remember you're doing it for yourself, not for the people out there.
With this all of your negative feelings will soon be going down the drain and all you would be left with would be immense control on yourself and others and your surroundings. I like it when I have the power to control people around me, and I know that you do too. then what's the better way to stay optimistic..brr...happy!

9) Finally stay away from pessimists. They will make you a storehouse of their problems and you are not one (unless you are a therapist!). You have your own problem to deal with and listening to the problems of others wouldn't help neither you nor the other person. You do know that many people have a habit of blabbering about even trivial issues with whomsoever and whatsoever place. They not only take up so much of your time but drain you out of energy which you could have utilised to do something creative.

That's pretty much it for now. I hope you'll be agreeing with me with all the points above. And do tell me your ways to stay optimistic. And if you don't have any,why don't you try some of the above and share your experience with me.

Have a nice day :)

P.S -And I was just wondering if the title of the post was apt or not and eureka! it was perfect indeed. I have an explanation for this- why do we all want to be optimistic? Simply, because we want to remain happy and want that only good things happen to us. So that's it optimism=happiness! I am so intelligent na...thanq...thanq!

Friday, 1 March 2013

Thriving the optimist in you #1

Now,before i tell you the techniques to dwell optimism in yourself I want you to know that I myself was a big time pessimist.(Although I used to call myself practical..whoosh). But since last few months I have turned into an optimist. Well, not exactly optimist but I am certainly less miserable these days. Optimism is not about hoping for the best in your life, only you can bring out the best(as they say in the nescafe ad !). optimism is about taking the things with a broader perspective and getting the utmost benefit out of a situation. An optimist has control over the situation.
Optimism is all about calming yourself even in tough situations so that you can have a better control of the outcome. Optimism is not that in bad times you hope for the good. Optimism is when in bad times, you work hard diligently to tide over that time (and not get pressurised too much) and make sure that such a time never returns.

Without dilly-dallying anymore, let me just jump to the key ways that can help you become less miserable or les miserables( I liked the soundtrack more than film, did you?)-

1) First of all, focus on only one thing. Multitasking is really a waste of your effort. Trying to do many things at a time will make you feel more exhausted and you are definitely bound to commit more mistakes and you'll end up in despair anyways.

Why it works?
- Because when you have done a work, you must get appreciated  for it. But if you instead are let down by your work you'll feel dejected and therefore, invariably are heading towards pessimism.

2) Do the task in hand rather than having all eyes on future. Planning about future is a very good thing but all planning and no execution is bad.

why this one works?
- Because once youve completed a task given to you, you'll be overjoyed plus there will be then enough room in your brain to plan ahead mindfully!

3)Executing what you've planned is the most important thing that decides your behaviour. i mean literally the if you do not work out your plan well, you will create new lows for yourself. And would you remain optimistic during the lows long enough? Atleast, I won't

4) Watch and read good things only. Our mind is very delicate just like our body. Feed it with good stuff and it will do wonders but feed it with junk and you bet it will reek.

5) Get out and play.  A brief session of exercise strengthens the good neural pathways and helps in releasing endorphins which are kind of good-for-your-body hormones. It'll definitely help you to stay happy and positive all throughout the day.

6) Rigidly and mind that word RIGIDLY follow your sleeping and waking up schedules. Your day-night cycle is under control of hormones and if you disrupt this cycle, you are in a way disrupting the natural flow of hormones in your body. Try sleeping till 10 o'clock in the morning and the chances are high that you'll have had bad dreams last night. But this doesn't happen when you wake up early(ofcourse by sleeping early). So, it is just a sign of your body telling you to stop abusing yourself!

ab aaj ke liye kch zyada ho gaya...mujhe neend aa rahi hai...i'll continue with this in my next post.