Wednesday, 19 November 2014


PM Modi’s pet project which aims at creating a civic sense among the people can be called a groundbreaking movement. Something that is being turned into an all people phenomenon. It is really a commendable task that our prime minister is doing, to educate people about cleanliness. But what has been the impact of this movement? Has there been any apparent change beyond MLAs and MPs picking up broomsticks as a part of their propaganda? Evidently not.  Railway stations are still at their dirtiest, people still piss on roadsides and the inherent spitters still do not feel ashamed of their actions. Mr. Modi’s plan of swach bharat is undoubtedly a great idea to unite people to create awareness. But it is a half hearted measure. Where is the infrastructure? To get a clean city, you basically need proper waste management systems. Sewage treatment plants for instance are just stepping stones to a greener and environment friendly development. Separating biodegradable and non biodegradable wastes and setting up recycling plants are just the textbook measures which focus on proper waste disposal and cleaner environment. If these systems are established then people will automatically use them. Installing a dustbin at a public place won’t help unless you don’t know what to do with the waste inside that dustbin. What we are doing now is just dumping the waste of that smaller dustbin into a larger dustbin . In every city, you can find acres of barren land being used as city dumpyards, where there is no management of waste whatsoever. Heaps of waste keep on piling until that land is unable to withstand anymore. And then what is done? We shift the dumpyard to a new place. Picking the broom to clear the waste ( by people)  is a novel idea. But we first need infrastructures for waste management. Otherwise, what is the use of such drive if you make one place very beautiful and other very dirty? As far as people are concerned, the best they can do is not spit, pee in public and use public dustbins. Apart from this, people in general aren’t really equipped to do anything else. About 5 years back, I became a part of a cleanliness drive at my school which mainly aimed at separating biodegradable and non biodegradable waste. We started it at home and I was really enjoying the idea of having two separate dustbins for plastic waste and organic waste when suddenly I realised that both of these dustbins were emptied in the same MCD waste collecting truck. What’s then the use of separating the waste if it has to go to the same dumpyard? Like most homes, we didn’t have a lawn outside our home to build any compost pits. And recycling process has to be done by civic bodies. So, the point I am trying to make here is, that even if citizens are made aware, you really can’t expect positivie results unless the infrastructure is developed. If there is a process, an infrastructure, people will use it. Like the MCD trucks. People use it because it is there. And then I don’t think people will really be needed to make aware of importance of cleanliness in surroundings. They will themselves resort to proper waste management if they have proper facilities.

Unless the BJP is trying to blame people for keeping cities unclean, that we don’t sweep the streets, I think they should expedite the development of waste treatment plants in the cities and undertake more such waste management projects. Otherwise, we will hear the same old story – You failed because you didn’t clean up ! 

Sunday, 8 June 2014

The outburst

A reward for everytime we do hardwork makes me wonder the quintessential difference between humans and dogs. The quotidian drudgery , can it really be acknowledged by a mere reward? The poultice is too small to minimise the acrid suffering we have to endure daily. Nevertheless, a trophy a day keeps the naysayers at bay! South Indians have thrived on this principle. And north Indians, well, they are catching up fast. A recent visit to a friend’s house triggered the bad flashbacks and one or two sleepless nights. Well, I can’t blame it entirely on her, my mom had also come to visit me…. :P 

The trophies. The dreaded pre-competitive anxiety and the post competition jealousy! I haven’t been a competitive person at all from the beginning and liked to do things at my pace. So maybe that’s the reason I wasn’t selected in relay teams at all ! But in other competitions like extempore and essays, I would have been the favourite contender. Teachers would put their money on me and if I lost they looked as scornfully at me as the jealous single person looks at a couple kissing under the shade of a tree! But fortunately I did win some competitions. So, it was enough to get me a happy meal as my reward at home but the reward at school? It never satiated me. Even winning comes with side effects. I have had most horrible tales after winning. This one time, in a fancy dress competition I grabbed the first prize only to be told that I’d make a great post man (I had become a post man! ) . Of course, the headmistress corrected her statement. Besides, who in 2nd class would understand most of her English jargon? I was busy fiddling with my artificial specs that I was looking so cute while wearing ! Then this another time, I think in 6th I understood that cash prizes are more revered than lunch boxes, the hard way. This was a gruesome incident, I don’t want to make you people cry ! :P So, I better not divulge the details! ;) Again in 7th winning the first prize drove me into the sullen state that reeked of my misfortune. It was an extempore completion, the first prize were a trophy and some English educative CDs that were a fad back in those days. The 2nd was a set of Enid blyton novels and the third was that huge oxford dictionary with illustrations! I desperately wanted that 3rd prize but I came 1st! What could be more horrific? I don’t need a golden cup that I will have to keep cleaning for the rest of my life! So I decided, I would exchange my reward with the third runner up. He was more than happy to take a trophy home. I laughed at his knavery in my mind ! As I innocently told my mother about this achievement of mine, that I made such an awesome deal, she placed both her hands on her heads and MAYBE cursed herself at bringing out such a thing from her ! (Well, her sullen face made me wonder this. I hope I am right..but anyway :P)  The trophies were never my favourite. Why would I need a golden cup ? I can’t even drink my bournvita from that! And what would a 10 year old do with a cash prize? It would ultimately go to my mom daah! So unless you are to reward her for being a good mom, I think I would be more than happy to accept your dictionaries and books! Those eraser pens would have done too :P

I longed for a day that these competitions would be over  but they never do. Even now, I see not-so-innocuous competition among the inconsequential people on facebook to get a good picture of themselves in an insipid restaurant. Or a competition to stay above the rest in college and so on. I think the insolent monkeys are better at competing than we humans  -_- So that’s why I don’t like to be reminded that I was a monkey once, when my mother brought with her a trophy from class 8th I won for having a full attendance! She thought I could use some inspiration from that and start going to college more regularly! Her newfangled and wicked schemes to motivate me add to my misery. Now ,that trophy stares at me from the shelf box, reminding a great hunter past his prime, who he once was and what will never return to him! Her parsimonious acts have really made an impression this time.  And I just retire to my bedroom with only one thought in my mind- “I will get back at you mom! “ :P 

Friday, 30 May 2014

You sir are a b**b

SP and me met after a real long time. So we were catching up and in the meanwhile SP offered me a  bottle of lager, almost certain I would decline!

Me: Sure, why not?

SP: Whoa, dude! When did you start drinking?

Me: Don’t say it like that, you make it sound so cheap !

SP: Alright, classy man you hated beer! What changed?

Me: Ah! Nothing man.., I had been sitting on my bean bag for 8 months, thinking what went wrong.. Then a thought comes into my mind- why don’t I screw up a little more? Lol!

SP : Hahaaha! I know that feeling! I am glad you have started! You have a long way to go!

Me: hell no man, I haven’t started anything!

SP: I don’t get it….

Me: Take for example us two. You are a whore when it comes to booze. And I, well, I am just not a virgin anymore ! 

SP: You are a whore!  

Me: I don’t have a girlfriend who is still going through puberty!

SP: She is in 11th for god’s sake!

Me: That actually actually makes you a pimp !

SP: You…you sir are a boob!

Me: That means you’re a sucker! 

SP: No booze for you!!!

Friday, 23 May 2014

Yo Madhya Pradeshis!

I had a pretty hard time adjusting to the new people here in Madhya Pradesh. These people just don't get any sarcasm. Not all but the ones I know. On twitter there is a whole new plethora of people with the wittiest and most sarcastic lines I have ever seen. And some of them are madhya pradeshis. But the ones with which I hang out, well, it's just suffice to say they found me an alien and I, well, I found them to be a vagina.
Here's some of the best instances where I used a common english phrase that were misunderstood and my humorous side was stomped with a hammer as big as Pamela Anderson's boobs!

#Situation 1

Me: Yeah.. I know right! Who could've imagined! I am just having the time of my life here in Bhopal !

Madhya Pradeshi : Time of your life??? What do you mean. Come clear.

Me to myself : Do these people still build wells around here? coz I gotta drown myself in one of them!

#Situation 2

Me:  I would like to take you out someday..

Madhya pradeshi : What?

Me: I mean I like you so.. was just hoping that we could hang around...

Madhya Pradeshi : What???? Love me? I don't know what to say... I hardly know you.. how can you like me?

Me: I meant you are a date-able person. That's why I didn't say I love you..

Madhya Pradeshi : So how can we go out together?

Me: I am sorry. What?

Madhya Pradeshi : Arre baba.. Only couples go out together.

Me: I think we have got ourselves in a fundamental standoff here. That's the whole concept of dating. You know, never mind, why don't we just hang around like friends?

Madhya Pradeshi : Hang around what?

Me to myself: Did she actually say this? No, this can't be true! How did she got my number? Bl-ee-ddyy whatsapp!

#Situation 3

Me: hey bro! What's up?

Madhya Pradeshi : everything's goin fine..So you are now talking to *****? What's going on man?

Me: That ain't none of your shit bro !

Madhya Pradeshi : huh?

Me: Huh?

Madhya Pradeshi : what did you say? I don't need to shit..

Me to myself : It's fair.Even Delhites couldn't connect to my 8 mile eminem photo on fb.

Me to him : I need to shit -_-

#Situation 4

Madhya Pradeshi : You know ***** mam was asking about your whereabouts. Why don't you come to college?

Me: Oh let it be! You know how busy I am.... And now you do realise how hot I am. Even teachers miss me !

Madhya Pradeshi : Oh please! You are an idiot for not coming to college...

Me: Oh damn you girl.. you found out about that so early :D

Madhya Pradeshi : Start coming to college regularly from now on!

Me: See.. even you can't resist me !

Madhya Pradeshi : And did you complete that file?

Me: Not really..

Madhya Pradeshi : You are really messing up hard! There's going to be problems...

Me: Just chill out lady. Those will be my problems. Don't sweat it man!

Madhya pradeshi : I don't sweat like a man! You know what? I am going to sit over there!

Me to myself : Oh god! This isn't funny anymore. Please get me a person who gets me!

#Situation 5

Me : So howz your gym routine going?

Madhya Pradeshi : Fine, I guess. But yours must be better, no? Afterall you get to see all girls!

Me: Yeah, it's a shame your gym has different timings for boys and girls...And FYI I don't watch girls,they watch me :D

Madhya Pradeshi : What's FYI? And yeah..yeah.girls watch you....ha!

Me to myself : Seriously? It wasn't even a phrase! No wonder these madhya pradeshis can only use TY as a short form for Thank you -_-

Me: FYI means fooling you instantly !

#This completes another rant by IHY

PS- (FYI means for your info.)

Saturday, 10 May 2014



The catchy title, the awesome cover tricks you into believing this is going to be hearty read. I also fell for that when I ordered this book with great expectations. I was myself going through a dull phase and I had anticipated this book would atleast do me some good. But I was wrong. I had never felt so cheated by a book. So here it goes fellas- my first book review for an insipid, horrendous book of all times- come on inner peace, I don’t have all day.

                The story opens with a prologue consisting of the author and his panditji. I am sorry swamiji. In the beginning the author makes it abundantly clear that his intelligence is far above all of us and therefore, he spoonfeeds us at every level. All throughout his book, we as readers are humiliated because Mr. Garg thinks we are herds of cattle and we will not be able to interpret what he is trying to implore. So he irritates us time and again with his explanations for every point. At one such instant he even reminds us that he is using third person! God, such an irritable and irrational fellow he is. But I don’t think he wanted to intentionally do that. First of all, he is a Baniya and next I think his brain is underdeveloped. Have you ever seen a kid who tries to understand something? After so many tries when he finally does, he is overjoyed and creates such a hoo-halla around!  In the same way, Sachin Garg feels too elated when he understands the most basic, most common notions.  I don’t know what’s wrong with the guy but he also gives us his “own”  theories and explanations and that too in points behind every simplest saying or “mantra” in the book. Well, of course there is no mantra. But we’ll get to that later.

                 Now comes the really irritating part. The story and the characters in his book are underdeveloped. Swamiji reminds me of any quack,nanga sadhu that you can spot during kumbh melas. The anchor himself seems lost and his surroundings just don’t make any sense. His girlfriend died and he thinks he is somehow responsible for it. He has a mother who is so understanding that she doesn’t even ask him questions on what kind of shit he is smoking.! It does not end there. He has a joyful friend saloni who is married at 23. She sends him to the babajis, sorry swamiji’s ashram in rishikesh while she herself goes to a long vacation in south Africa. He is one twisted fuck, this author. On one hand he is really depressed about losing his girlfriend but on the other hand this guy is continuously obsessing over the placement offers he is going to get 3 months henceforth. Well, sounds reasonable doesn’t it? On one hand you’re battling suicidal thoughts and on the other you’re obsessing about the pay package. Nevertheless, the story goes on and I try to dissect every line to find even the slightest sign of peace. Unfortunately all I get to know is “That from now on I stay far away from fucking Indian authors”!
                The guy reaches rishikesh, meets a 40 year old vandana and some other creepy people. He tries to blend in the ashram environment , presumably fails utterly. No guesses then who helps him- His Swamiji (pun intended). Our motherfucking swamiji is a goddamn genius! He makes our protagonist go on a trip to find the other girl he had met in his life while he was in Goa some years back. I really wonder how this guy managed to survive in DCE. He had a gf, he thought she betrayed him and so he went to goa! Dude! Who gave your semester exams? And his mother did not even bother about him even then. The guy was cleaning floors and his mother was doing what? She was bloody understanding! Yeah, right!  So much for the perfect Indian mother, huh? Anyways, Samar then embarks on a journey to find his long lost love Navya across India. In the process, we discover how fucked up our little author is. Now he finds navya has indulged into drugs. So to make her escape out of them the protagonist makes some drugs himself! He goes to rave parties, describes us scenes from there and from being a book about peace, this book eventually takes turn to a GUIDE. A guide to make heroin. A guide to stay out of drugs and also a guide to do every fucking illegal thing in this country behind the curtain of “adventure”. The author even quotes WIkipedia on harmful effects of drugs at one point! I've never been this pissed off with a guy in my entire life! Dude!!! If we required some bullshit teachings on whether drugs are right or not we would have bought something else damn it! This guy is really proving me right on every front! That Indians are bloody nosy people and they have advice for you on just everything. Even in his book amateurs give all kinds of advice.. Everybody seems to be advising everybody! God I am so angry now!!! 
        Coming back, Vandana has cancer and Navya has to be treated for drugs. So instead of taking one to rehab and other to a fucking hospital our little friend decides to become a doctor himself. And he even becomes one! How? In his words only- YOUTUBE! Voila!

          Are you fucking kidding me? This guy should be put in a rehab for god’s sake! Never mind that.  So the story somehow manages to come to an end and when you’re so dreary, the author suddenly remembers the main purpose behind his book. So he writes a short paragraph where he lays down on floor and speaks his mind to swamiji. Hence, peace achieved! Quite simple really! You just need to talk to fucking total strangers! No problem! Finally Samar our protagonist settles down with Navya. I found it totally absurd how that is peaceful? Your gf died and you settled with another girl? If that's not enough navya, a newly cured meth addict is sent out to cure another meth addict! Great work guruji, sorry swamiji ! 

             My fucking 3 hours gone completely waste! Really Mr. Garg, you should stop writing. This is not the right area for you. I don’t know how this book managed to reach the bestseller spot in our country because although I’ve been really at my best at ridiculing Indians but one thing they do know is about books! Maybe it’s all just the hype and the name that did the trick. Much like “the secret from Rhonda Byrne”. People really like sstuff about peace and you tricked and cheated them all.

Now my final verdict- (A gentleman’s review)

Come on inner peace by Mr. Sachin garg seems to be an interesting and grappling novel at first look. The cover is excellent and the topic pampers our creative craving. But the content of the book is well below average. With so many grammatical errors and spelling mistakes I wonder if at all any editing had been done to this book. The story fails to impact the audience and the author’s assumption of being superior to the masses makes his book a total disaster. The book bears a mareked similarity to our veteran author Chetan Bhagat as is clear from the title of a chapter- “vandana speaks” like “Ryan speaks” in the “five point someone”. The language used by the author feels like a second grade version of Chetan Bhagat’s and clearly, it REPELS us to the core. The author is himself far from peace and that is also aptly reflected in his book. I wouldn’t recommend this book to anyone unless they want to lose their peace of mind. 

P.S- I found out that this book was published by author's own publication company! So that does answers the poor editing. I have my reservations if this book would have really gone to shelves if the author didn't own a publication company.
   Also I have not actually seen Breaking Bad myself but people say it's just the Indian version of breaking bad. So congrats Mr. garg, you are rewarded for plagiarism as well :)

Thursday, 17 April 2014

What kind of people Indians really are.

Indians are a peculiar race. They are the ones who have unique emotions and even a much more unique way of expressing them. And India is such a diverse country you can find all types of emotions here simultaneously. With variable opinions some of which are so extraordinary that they compel you to think about people all the more and the reason of their very existence on this earth.  Moving on with my ranting, these are some characteristics I found apt for Indians :

1)      Impulsive: Well, like people of any other place or nationality, we also are very emotional and impulsive people. But our emotions always flow over the top. Our actions and reactions to tiny situations are hyped like anything and they can be called unreasonable to some extent. A divorce in the family, wow! That’s something that everyone is interested in. A funeral. Well, you can see everything except civility in funeral. With all he loud crying and going all white, it's just all the more tragic. Some call it ancestral linkage but that's the way we are hard wired. Daily soaps take our emotions to an all new level. Don't be fooled by them. But it's true our emotions and our ways of expressing them are sometimes intimidating and scary.

2)      We, Indians are like herds of goat. We don’t form an opinion. We go with an opinion without applying our minds into it. So, that’s why Arvind Kejriwal rose to fame instantly and that is also why is fell back even more spontaneously. We are repeating the same mistake by putting all our expectations onto one man- Narendra Modi, this time. If we take a look at a different field, then in cinemas too, we can see that there is a phase for a kind of movie. 90s was the time of love stories, then came the decade for comedy, now we’re just watching black, unbathed south indian men with pot bellies being thrown like sandbags by a 50 year old hero with jet black hair. Of course exceptions occur in the midway and that is why we have come this far even. The point remains the same. We get hold of an idea and keep selling it until the validity of that idea is no longer viable.

3)      Indians are also very flexible people. You can question their reasons and most of the time you’ll end up seeing that they have started doubting their own reasons itself. Well, you can say we are influenced very easily. One moment we are with you, the next moment we can be ‘who the hell are you’? And we are very adjusting people. We adapt to every kind of situation whatever it is. Rather than raising questions we like to sit back and preach this world that we should be like water. Adjusting to every situation. Ask them why, we will tell you to become successful. Ask us what after being successful, we would become speechless. We always want some task or a deadline. That’s how we have been born and bred. To live to meet deadlines.

4)      Pretentious, rude, selfish, narcissists, prude, frustrated are the common adjectives. I would like to use something different. Recently I came across the word “impertinent” and this applies to all of us unexceptionally. We like to judge. That’s our sole hobby. And that’s what our aim for the life is. We judge even the Gods surprisingly. Ok, Lord shiva is not listening to us. Maybe Maa Vaishno Devi might help. Oh, is she also not listening to you? Why don’t you get baptised? Or don’t even change your religion. Come to the Art of living. We will teach you the life skills that you already knew all along. Or sahaj yoga? Brahmkumaris? Every person can pick a new cuisine for each new day! I digress. The best part about being an Indian is… well , there are actually two. First of all, you can ogle. And second, you can keep rubbing your nose in someone else’s business.

We are prepared with all the kinds of advices. You just name a problem man, we will have a solution. Someone else’s life is worth more importance than ours for us “the Indians”. Our self-righteous attitude, the hypocrisy and shallowness of our ideals are our forte. For every defect in us, we are ready with blame games. Why is India so behind? Well, The foreigners got far too ahead. They should have waited for us! Is the bottom line of all our responses. What baffles me the most is if we’re so open about our emotions of happiness and sorrow, what happens when we come to the point of love and affection? Why is Narendra Modi so ardent about his single status? The American president has to be portrayed as a family man to win the respect of his counterparts, similarly in France, the president’s girlfriend is a first lady. But in India with a population of 1.2 billion people, we want a prime minister who is celibate. If this is not hypocrisy then what is? Whatever it is, India is a very funny land. And I am so happy that I can whine about it on my blog. 

Monday, 14 April 2014

My first Hangover

Alcohol always aroused curiosity in me. It’s supposed to be a depressant. Then why do people feel elated after drinking it? And furthermore, what’s  so strong about this stuff? I wanted to know. I wanted to know badly. So, I bought a beer for the first time in my life but it turned to be farce! I did not get anywhere near drunk! I realised I needed more alcohol to get to the “drunk” drunk state I had seen people in.Well, mainly Charlie Sheen ;) So the next day I bought a vodka and beer bottle to satiate my curiosity. The first time I drank vodka was neat. And it burnt my insides to the core! It repelled me. So did the beer. But I had to experience. I continued. Mixing small quantities with coke, I kept on drinking the ghastly cocktail until all of it was over. Simultaneously I chugged down on the beer. It took 15 minutes for the effects to kick in. Slight lightheadedness, nothing more. Hell  I could even walk on a rope in that state! So my experiment had failed. I came to the conclusion that people were absolutely bonkers! They acted being drunk! ;) I had not been completely wrong. Oops. I digress. AS had been an integral part of all this madness. She was fascinated by my escapade and called me up in the meanwhile. I was supposed to save some vodka for her. She was to drop by later that night. Now, I had been out of booze. So, I decided to buy me some more. I set out in my car. I had anticipated some drunk madness driving but nothing really happened. I was still driving far better than these novice drivers do. I felt disappointed. So, I was back with 3 more vodkas and 4 more beers. I had more booze to experiment with. Well, it took me an hour to finish all the beer bottles and one of the vodkas. Now that was when the real effects kicked in. I drank some more vodka in shots and after that no one knows what went by.

   I woke up in the morning at around 10, shirtless and on my dining table! But that wasn’t my concern. I felt nauseated and so tired. My stomach felt funny! I gathered myself up and looked around the house. And it was a disaster! I had puked almost everywhere! On my feet, on the armchair. On the floors, on the walls, just about everywhere! The smell in the house was so pungent, I felt puking some more but there was nothing inside of me. I checked for my phone. And god! It was also such a disaster. My balance went down from 500 to just 75 in just one night. I had called some of classmates. Not to mention that they were girls. And I didn’t remember a thing I had talked about! Still don’t. The three girls whom I called still maintain that I did not call them that night! I guess they are probably right. Because their behaviour is now more affectionate towards me. That can’t happen when you talk drunk? I had send RIP messages to almost all my contact list and jibber jabber to AS! I could make out my drunkenness by reading some of that jibber jabber! Apart from all this everything else was pretty normal except for one weird thing. It’s a shameful thing but I’ll write it down anyway. I, till date haven’t found my underwear from that night. I found my T-shirt in the pot but not my underwear and I am positive I had been wearing it that day :P Well, what do you know..alcohol! Gets the best of you ;)

Needless to say that was the highest amount of alcohol I had consumed and I don’t plan on repeating that misadventure anytime soon. 3 vodkas and 4 beers is a real heavy consumption by the standards of even regular drinkers. I am glad I didn’t torch my house down that day. And me, well, I got away with some minor bruises on hands and feet. I found two empty broken beer bottles. Must’ve had cut myself with the glass pieces.

So my dear friends, you can either be a fool to try this experiment of mine with yourself too or be intelligent and avoid alcohol by all means. It’s not a cool thing to drink and it is definitely injurious to health. If you do drink it, do it with someone who remains sober. You never know when your adventure becomes a misadventure ;)

A guide to drinking for the first timers

If you are not a drinker and want to start drinking, you have come to the right place. Well, I am going to spare you the jibber jabber of I am not one of those promoting the use of alcohol but you should bear in mind that alcohol is indeed injurious to health. You’ll see how.
Now there are different types of liquors available in the market. There is beer, vodka, rum, whiskey and so forth. Also, each one has many different brands. And each brand has its own price. If you are a beginner or maybe let’s just say you want to experiment then I would recommend just cheap alcohol, for two reasons mainly a) you will not be able to drink all of it in the first time. B) it won’t hurt much to your pockets if you leave the liquor anyway. The main difference between the pricey ones and cheap ones is basically of distillation or how much pure the liquor is. But as a lay man you will just notice that cheap liquors give a harsher burning sensation than the expensive ones. And by expensive I mean really really expensive. A premium whiskey bottle costs anywhere between Rs 4000 and Rs 10000. Even that is cheap for some. Anyways, moving on, whiskey is not for the first timers. You can do beer but that just tastes yak! So bitter that you’ll just curse yourself for buying it. You could could’ve bought a coke and lived happily. And beer doesn’t get you drunk. With just 6-8% alcohol content, it will take approximately 6-7 of them (650 ml bottles) to reach the “Stupid drunk” point. And again, if you’re experimenting for the first time, you will probably find it difficult to gulp down even one sip. But if you do want to try a beer I would recommend Kingfisher or Fosters. These bottles will cost you around Rs200 and look classy in your refrigerator ;)  Do check the alcohol content in them. Like Kingfisher blue only has 6% alcohol content in it. A haywards 5000 will have 8%. Haywards is a cheap beer and will cost you only 100 to 150 bucks. The less the alcohol content the less the burning sensation when you drink it. And it drinking even one to two bottles of beer (650 ml bottles) will not do much good. It might come into effect if you drink all of it in span of 2 minutes. Yeah, like you drink water! Then it is sure going to give you a kick. But even heavy drinkers don’t have that kind of capacity to drink it all at once. That’s why in some Hollywood movies you’ll find that they have a beer drinking competition.

Going further, if you have to get real drunk, and I mean “real” real drunk, you should probably take vodka or rum. 180 ml bottles or quarter as it is usually said will get you to that “stupid” drunk stage. I would probably go for vodka because rum can’t be handled by all ;) Well, there is that and also the fact how your body would react to different types of liquors. So it’s best to stay with clear liquors. By clear I mean which do not have any colour. So vodka is your best option. Vodka also has many brands. A good vodka is always from a Russian brand. Well, Vodka originated in Russia so that makes sense. Vodka can be cheap but it really is a risk to go for the cheap ones. Cheap vodkas will make you suffer like never before. But not all cheap vodkas are bad. You can go for Smirnoff’s or seagram’s vodkas. They are cheap but are pretty safe otherwise. A 180 ml bottle will cost around Rs 200-Rs 300. Vodkas come in many different flavours. Orange is the most common. But you don’t have to drink it in shots. By shots it means 20-25 ml plain vodka drunk without mixing. It is a chivalrous task to take shots. 4 shots will pass you out completely. So, shots aren’t for first timers. Tequila shots are like that. And please don’t think your friends are cool if they are having tequila shots at a party. Because tequila like other liquors has different qualities and cheap tequila can make you very, very sick! And with 40% alcohol content in it, you will definitely puke! But anyways if you like to have tequila just go for 100% de agave rather than 51%.Tequila is made by fermentation of agave plant and by 100% de agave we mean, it is all made by agave plant only. There are no additives. It will be best to go for US or Mexican brands. It is quite expensive and mainly a party thing. Coming back to vodka, the best one is a plain vodka. The best way to drink it is mixing with a soft drink like Coca Cola. 20-30 ml of vodka is good with 100 ml – 150 ml of coke. Depends on your tolerance actually. But if you’re still not able to drink it, pour some more coke till the time you find your drink ”drinkable”.  Keep doing this till you finish the vodka quarter. And in 15-20 minutes you will be “jhuming” on your heels. This one gets you stupid drunk. But again you have to do it very fast. Only in a span of 20-30 minutes. If you keep drinking slowly like in a span of an hour or so, it’s the drunkness wouldn’t be so drunk ;)

Well, that’s all about drinking for first timers. You have a large scope ahead of you. Just dip in your nose and you will see :P

And I forgot to mention about The hangover. You are going to wake up feeling fatigued and restless. Nauseated and feeling funny. Don't get scared it's just your body trying to get rid of alcohol. Drink water. And keep drinking it for the rest of the day. 
Don't drink and drive and definitely switch off your mobile before drinking. You never know who do you call.

P.S I wrote this article because I wanted something like this guide to drinking when I wanted to try by myself. But I couldn’t find any kind article on the net. Hence, this.

Thursday, 10 April 2014

Things I have learned during exams:-

1) You can do humour in the examination hall too.  Try acting all sneaky in front of the invigilator and he will think you were cheating. I just did the same. He asked me to open my fists and I kept saying there is nothing inside that. Finally after five minutes of ho-halla, I opened my fists which contained nothing and the whole examination hall bursted out in uncontrollable laughter. :D

2) Your most hated person becomes your best friend in the examination hall. He lends you pens, pencils, and also his answer sheet! :P

3) When you can only write for half an hour out of three hours, you get a lot of time for self ana;ysis and ponder over your life..

4) Also, you ponder who's the hottest girl out of the 50 girls sitting across to you.

5) And then there is always a scope for going to the toilets at regular intervals. But this plan does not work in my college. Suffice to say, nobody knows a thing.

6) When you have to suffer for 3 hours continuously, being detained for an hour due to some technical error seems a very excellent choice.

7) There is always a scope for painting the answer sheet with story line of chennai express! Don't give me that look! The teacher had specially said to write something! So that he has a scope for giving passing marks!

8) The "farras and sticky notes on the insides of your shirt do not work when you have essay type questions and need to fill atleast 10-12 pages of your answer sheet. -_-

9) With only 10 questions for 100 marks, you really can't do much as engineering students can. You just sit back and enjoy the fright on the innocent faces of girls who after the exam discuss " Yaar... Us Caverus sinus wale note me uski applied anatomy me carcinoma ke baare me likhna bhul gayi"
I have two questions- What is cavernus sinus? Secondly, ye wala question kaha tha paper me? O_o

10) And after exam you have to console your girlfriend who is weeping uncontrollably because she could not make diagrams for the lack of time. Kya hoga is duniya ka? Yahan.. question attempt karne pe laddu bat  rahe hain aur inko dekho!

P.S- Exams are fun. You get a week off !

P.P.S- For the first time, I used internet on my mobile to something actually useful !

Friday, 4 April 2014


Upper Lake, Bhopal

I lie in my bed, thinking about my crest
The crest seemed too high, now I am just carrying on with my life
After sinking to a new low, I found on my face a big-big blow
The renaissance is well past over me, now what do I do to get free?
This poem is not my cup of tea, but I still write it to impress all of you thee! 
I should bunk my head under a pillow
But who would then hone my willow?
I have to study, my exams are nearby
So I bid all of you a hearty goodbye!

Wednesday, 2 April 2014

High on morning freshness!

Mornings, for some they are the mournings but even they would agree, it's the most beautiful time of the day. The freshness in the air, the dim, optimistic sunlight just rejuvenates you for the rest of the day. The exquisiteness of a city is seen on two occasions- when it's bustling with activity and when it's not. Mornings are the best time to see any city I would say. Being an avid walker myself, it comes naturally to me to get up early and witness the marvelous, breathtaking sunrise each day. Bhopal doesn't have parks in every locality. The culture of parks, I speculate is not developed in smaller cities. Because they had already been so greener and full of grounds, so who would have needed parks anyway. But now, as they are under the spell of urbanisation, the free space is shrinking and so are people's options. For me it was a big case really. I had been used to parks eversince and suddenly I have no place to jog? It was an unwelcoming change. So, I decided to take up gym. But when you run 5 kms on a treadmill, your knees and your lower back do not remain yours anymore. Gym goers would probably understand this ;) And my runs are my way of meditating. But in gym, you have high decibel music, playing havoc in your meditated run. I could no longer bear it. It was doing me more harm than good. So, finally I buckled myself up and the next morning I stepped outside my comfort zone and headed for a run. On roads! It felt like I was training for something because I had been the only one. But then on a Sunday I realised that I wasn't. I was just earlier than the rest. People here do go for morning walks. On roads only. But quite late. Even the elders. I get up at around 4:30 am and by 5 I am already skipping in my shoes! It's jut wonderful at that time. The run on roads has been quite an experience. It has overall been quite an experience. 
      Bhopal starts up quite late incidentally. Delhi is already bustling with elderly people going to parks and temples for morning prayers but here, I am the only living soul that I see. It feels quite amazing actually. Like you're the only person in this world for a few hours and this time is just yours and yours only. Even the runs are refreshing. I try to see as many things possible. I try to be as alert about my surroundings. Because there is something always beautiful almost everywhere. I try to explore much. Sometimes it is worth it, sometimes it isn't. But it is fun everytime. On my way back at around six, I see people finally getting up. Newspaper walas sleepily tying the newspapers, milkman opening his shop and the universal phenomenon- mothers shouting at their children to get up! The experience and an excitement of seeing something new everyday makes my day! And the fun part is to see an embarrassed nightwatchman who had been sleeping on duty, springing up to his senses on seeing someone this early! There can be no meditation better than this. And not even as beautiful as this!  

Friday, 28 March 2014

A society well educated?

All thanks to the new diseases I keep encountering each and everyday, I encountered something quite horrendous, if I may say so. My Parotid gland swelled up, which is a salivary gland right across the cheek before the ear. It happens due to mumps or some other infection but in my case, I ate a sour flavour of Nachos, felt a twinge across my face, which all of you must have experienced from time to time and next thing I know, my face looks like half a pear. It was quite unexpected and inexplicable. For me as well, though being a student of dentistry, I do study about salivary glands but this was only one of its kind. But being such an intelligent specimen of such a disastrous species that I am , I did not panic at all :P And I came to home instantly in Delhi :P So not panicky :P

                Now, I am not here to make a big issue of my illness or anything, but I am here to speculate about a stark; I don’t know what to call it, the state of Delhi and its people. The state of Delhi, has deteriorated so much over the past years, there is no doubt over it. I am not talking about the beauty of Delhi, or on the developmental lines but I am talking here about the soul of Delhi which has been marred and is being marred everday by the people who reside in Delhi.
I am not much of a metro traveler, or even a public transport user, because first of all, I don’t bloody like it and secondly, I don’t require it. But when you suddenly have to step out of your comfort zone, which  I kind of had to today, it really left me aghast too see as to what has become of us these days. I am walking down the street and I see all kind of maniacs here. The civil maniacs. There is a bunch of young boys maybe in class 6th or so, speeding on their scooties. One of them was louder than the group and much of a show off. So in his high which he might be getting, he attempted a wheelie and unfortunately, he ended up hitting an elderly woman. Now these are the times when you really don’t know what to do. You can’t scold the boy. He was already petrified at his accident and you can’t even let it go. With all the crowd gathered around him, he was bloody terrified. And people yelling and shouting at his inane behaviour, there was more a sense of desperation in these people rather than any concern for that old lady. And this is not the first time such things have happened. So many road rage incidents and brawls on trivial issues, what has become of us these days? I was watching the movie 'fight club’ the other day and found quite an amusing scene where each of the member of fight club has been given a task of indulging into a fight with total stranger. And guess what, it showed people actually do not dare to fight. That was about 15 years ago. So people did have some civility 15 years ago. But where has all of that gone? People nowadays are just waiting for a fight to happen. They are looking for an excuse to fight rather than avoid it. Even in your workplace, it’s a common phenomenon that people rake up really small issues and hold a grudge against you. A small difference of opinion between you and someone else’s nowadays means you’re intrinsically an asshole and do not deserve a place to live in this world. Respecting someone’s opinion and not not contesting someone’s opinion are two very different things and people have lost this fundamental sense completely.

    Talking about Delhi specifically, the people here are, mostly, immigrants and all the Delhites want to force this change on them. But I really want to speculate here. Whether they are the real issue here for all the destruction of our values? Is it all due to them? Or we all are missing something bigger here? I mean with delhi being a mega city, there are people here belonging to most vivid cultures. Here you can find a Dhoti clad Tau on a chaar poyi, a turban clad sardar in a Jaguar but who still bows before Bangla Sahib, a bright, colourful saaree clad woman who smokes hookah, or even just another Bihari going naked in the street to finish off his daily ritual of offering water to the Sun. Delhi has everything. Now when people relocate, they bring their cultures to that place. It seems fair to attribute the loss of Delhi’s original culture due to this intermingling. But is that one hundred percent right? I don’t think so. Because everywhere, this thing is happening. Maybe at a slower pace in some other areas but this is just not indigenous Delhi, it’s a global phenomenon. The examples come to light every now and then. Countries are strong armed.  But why is such a thing happening?Are people these days are sitting at the end of volcanoes? Because just one stimulus and they erupts like anything. Is this the kind of environment we really want to live in? There are self crowned idealists, some of them hold debates on national TV, some roam around wearing Nehru caps, and some go to such an extent that they start comparing themselves to Gandhi. But that is not what this article is about. This article is sololely and specifically about why is there so much anguish among the common man? Why is he not satisfied with his life and why is he letting his sense shadowed under the cloud of his ego? The world needs peace more than ever. We have all kinds of weapons of mass destruction and we have seen people losing the respect for human lives. To hell with mass destruction, I say angry potheads with a 5 ton car are potential threat to our security in general. I am actually pained to see our values, our humility being diminished. We have all been forced to believe that we are here to do something big. We are forced to look at the things in an impractical fashion. And that’s why I find a person’s own desperation, guilt, remorse, failed dreams and an impaired sense of judgement coming into force during an argument. It seems they are on a vendetta to link everything with their own cause. They fight to run away from pain. And the worst of all is, these people see humility as a sign of weakness and so do dumb spectators who are too scared to voice their own opinions. Why? Because they think it might not sound cool or maybe it will make them the target. But I am sick of people giving such excuses at why they did not react in the right fashion. For god’s sake stop blaming other people for your cowardness. And these people are contagious. It’s necessary you stay away from them and shun them out with a full pounding force and wake up from their sleep so that they realise that they are wrong. Doing nothing is just as good as doing wrong. I am disappointed how the slightest of the values of human nature have perished altogether by our uncouth, loutish egos that have simply got out of our hands to deal with.  I am not here to be the yardstick of being the superior model of calmness and sense or moral judgement. But this, sir, lack of humility and your boiling attitude, will not be tolerated. Confrontations don’t happen. We make it happen. We hunt for blood. Everywhere. But where does it end finally? The outbursts, the frenzy, the exhaustion, the powerlessness ultimately leaves you crippled. I feel terrified, not humiliated, not shameful but terrified to be associated with such society with such hypocrisy. Terrified. Because when you are dealing with angry men, it's better to stay away. But for how long are we going to tolerate this kind of absurdity of being the recipient of your own insecurities? I have been an ardent supporter of this word "humility", because your act of humility can brave you through any situation. With your pride and dignity intact. But it is even more important that the bloody motherfucking common man understands this word, its gesture, its meaning and its motive. Politeness, humility look poised when they are understood well. But in today's society, I barely find a place where it is not misunderstood. Misunderstood as ego or pride or to some more clever people as some cheap trick to be seen as pretentious and idealistic. We really need to pause for a second to see where we're heading to. We are losing our ideals to something that is more bigoted than cheap.

Saturday, 22 March 2014

The Ship Of Theseus

The Ship Of Theseus or better known as Theseus's Paradox is a simple yet most intricate philosophies from the time immemorial. It just poses a simple question- "Whether an object whose all parts have been replaced remains fundamentally the same object?" I got acquainted about this anomaly somewhere three years back and I am yet to arrive at a suitable answer to explain my position.
 We all are surrounded by this anomaly, in fact. Take for example, an old car, your Dad is quite attached to. Many of its parts have been replaced, it's even painted new. It's still working. But does it remain the fundamentally the same object your dad bought? I, like many of you, at first believed it was. After all it's been with us for so long. But is that the only parameter? What if the engine has been replaced altogether? Well, lets forget about inanimate objects. Let's move on to a person. Suppose, someone has replaced his organs, as we quite commonly see in transplant cases. Does he remain the same person after that? Yes, of course, he does! He has the same mind. But fundamentally? Would he be able to show exuberance like he used to? Forget even that! Would a person be the same after he is broken? By circumstance or maybe even a failed relationship?
 We all change with time. Change is inescapable. Even languid in some cases and you might discard with all your superciliousness but like time, it is eternal. Now, Be it inanimate objects or the animate ones, nothing is beyond this foible. So, even our opinions, our motives, our thinking! all change. Do we remain fundamentally the same person as we started out to be? I would stick to a firm no. We don't even remain the half of what we had started out as. There is so much change in a person just in a mere duration of an year, I am nonplussed how we attribute him to as being the same person.
 Our love for the things might remain the same. So can our opinions. But it's imperative to observe that things do not remain the same. I am not going into much deeper philosophy to state something about souls of these things, just a superficial scrutiny to one of my most favourite anomalies of all time. And I am sure a few years later I will have an entirely different view to this philosophy. But wouldn't we all? 

Friday, 14 March 2014

Top 10 Reasons Why I Hated To Lose Weight

Losing weight has been a long lust for me and finally, I did lose some of it but it's still far from my desired target. But noticeable differences are there and I am not liking this change. I hate change. Therefore, shamelessly, I put out the list of reasons why I liked myself better when I was 'FAT' :

1) This one's pretty obvious. I hate to lose weight because in the process I would have to forego of my love of McDonald's, Domino's, Wimpy's, Berco's, MOD, Dunkin' donuts' and the list goes on and on. Because I am that kind of person who chooses food before sex. Although, I wonder if I might be right here. Girl? Or Bread? HUh! Like Joey (From Friends) I want a girl on my bread! :D
(kuch seekho nalayako, jaha pe zaroorat na bhi ho, waha pe dialogue kaise chepe jaate hain !)

2) Being fat, I never had to bother to speak. Just keep your mouth filled with stuff all the time and no one would dare to interrupt your foreplay at a party! And also, when you're losing an audience which I kinda feel imminent on my blog, you can always attribute it to the large fatty cheeks that hinder your speech !

3) And talking about parties, it had been so profitable to take me to the buffets or the parties. I really extracted all the value of money.. yes!

4) And dancing like nuts on marriage celebration. I am not happy that my brother or sister will be getting laid from now onwards and I will be left out! So, being fat, I could always find an excuse of not dancing hysterically on these goddamn weddings!
(Yeah! Even I miss that too.. )

5) Going away from the scenario of public gatherings, I figured that my fatness was also a good excuse for me to convince my parents to fly me on business class or even get me those swanky gold class lounge tickets at movie theatres. But genuinely, who can fit on those economy seats?

6) And I used to come with a whole lot of package. I could use my tummy to drive a car around. Unfortunately, I have lost this superpower now :(

7) And I did come with the perfect package. When I used to meet a girl, I was like " Hey bitch! Look my boobs! They are bigger than yours!" And they really felt complexed. I have seen it on their faces..

8) And I fucking had 3 pack abs man! One family pack and two on the torso ! :P
9) Also, when I think, fat was my layer of protection, no? If somebody was to stab me, which I am    sure by the number of enemies I have made are already planning to, fat would provide me with      extra protection! It's tragic that my cover's been lost :(

10) Finally, I would've never fallen into the pot. You know what I mean? Like your fat butt cheeks are hanging out of the toilet seat and the water jet doesn't even reach your tushie.. Yeah something like that. Another horrible thing to find out that, you can actually fall into the pot where you did potty :P

Yours sincerely,

20kgs reduced IHY

By the way, is it just me or do you people also find it utterly bizarre that we all are the products of horniness of two human beings? O_o

Friday, 14 February 2014

This definitely has to make your day

Not more than 2 hours ago, I had exposed my disgust for Valentine's Day quite obnoxiously. But my friends, what happened in the last hour couldn't have made my hatred for this day more profound than ever. 

I had this little crush  back there, about 3 years ago. Let's call her AM. Now, AM and I have been real good friends, not keeping up lately but certainly have light conversations at weekends occasionally. Now she pings me up on this valentine day! And at a time when I know things are not going all fine between her and her boyfriend.

AM : Hey! Are you there?

(And I go like, oh boy! She is onto me man! Why else would she text me on valentine's day? 
 I text AJ.

Me: Man, you're not gonna believe it! AM just messaged me today! Maybe she's going to propose to me! 

AJ: Get out of here man! No way! She won't leave her bheem ! (we call her BF bheem :D) 

Me: Dude, she's having a hard time keeping up with Bheem these days! And you know, I had always been there for her!

AJ : Hats off dude! You're one lucky bastard ! Girls fall right out of the sky for you!

Me: It's nothing like that.. But I would say this, my charm does work sooner or later ! *Boasting*
      Well, I gotta text her back. I don't want to make her desperate!

AJ : You're the man! 

(I revert back to texting AM)

Me: Heyy! Sure always am! What's up?

AM : Nothing new, just the same old stuff.

Me: Having fun with Bheem?? Come on, bring it on! Make me jealous. Where did you go?

AM: Umm.. we kinda are not seeing each other for the time being.

Me: Oh! I am so sorry to hear that ! 

AM: Yeah, me too. But I am past that. 

(Me to myself: Here it comes! I've been waiting for this! ooh! I can't believe this! If she was not into Bheem, I am pretty sure, she would have been onto me!)

AM: So, Do you have AJ's number?

Me: Umm... yeah. Hang on a minute. (AJ's number? strange!)
       There you go. But What's the deal here? 

AM : Oh you know yarr.. I has a crush on him from the beginning, so just...

Me to myself : AJ ! You bloody Son-of-a-#$%@

On This Day, I give this world _____

Hello my fellow Earthians! Hope you're enjoying your day with that loved one of yours who will eventually suck the life out of you slowly and gradually :P Whatever, I had been missing on my blog posts for so much time but what the hell! I am even missing out on my assignments, so much that I've not gone to the college for a couple of weeks now, so missing out on blog posts seems fair enough. Even I, myself don't know what's wrong but I've entered into a shell of some sorts. In which I just like to remain silent and do nothing. Literally nothing. It's totally making me go bonkers! 
Speaking of going bonkers, Valentine's day's here!
-Hey! What's the connection? ;\
All throughout the year, I get to witness hundreds of facebook posts and whatspp statuses of my friends who are either on cloud 9 with their love or going all berserk with those crappy Japanese cartoons with an emotional message written on the side. 
-Yeah man, it's not even an emotional message! We all hate that!
And now suddenly before this week, even my single friends have resorted to flaunting their relationship status!
-Serenity now! Serenity now!
-Man, you seriously need to get over Seinfeld! That show was like, 15 years ago!
-I will. Until I find a new show to obsess with! 
-These pretzels are making me thirsty!
-Ha good one!
So, I think it's not reasonable to celebrate love only once an year.
-Hey! You also celebrate independence day only once an year!
-There's no point in reasoning with you, is it? Why don't you take a break for some time?
So, it really sometimes gets high on your nerves when you're left out. Committed people have their own group, ones from the break ups have their own and then even some single people have evolved to such a point that they enjoy their singularity with such pomp and show! And all that is left is people like me, like the leftover tomato ketchup on the side of the plate! Sigh!
We have a long history of mockery and humiliation before us,but I tell you my members of the wolf pack, we will not give up! Let them call us losers, loners, whatever they feel like, but we will not bow before them. You know what? We scare them! Because we're not even bothered about our relationship status! That threatens their very nature of existence!
-All right Brutus! Stop it! 
-But I have a valid point!
-And you've made it! You don't like valentine's Day! We get it! Now just get out of here! 

Friday, 10 January 2014

Political ad-wise

The author of this blog for unknown reasons has suddenly disappeared from the social circle. He was last spotted in the Burmese jungles where the monkeys had given him a political asylum.

Advice To:


Your name sounds Macedonian.
Nevertheless, dude, I just don't have any advice for you. you've fallen to such a low category! First of all, it has been really hard as to what to identify you as. Are you a politician? Or a businessman? Or just a mama's boy trying to fiddle at her workplace? What are you seriously? The nation wants to know!
You came in on a high note. Being branded as the pall bearer of change for modern India. You looked highly intelligent, qualified and there was a time when you were the most sought after bachelor outweighing even Dhoni's popularity when he was single! Now, I doubt whether girls perceive you as a transgender or as a pothead. Recently, Poonam Pandey was asked if she was willing to date you. She retorted at the reporter with a fiery vengeance and shouted Mahatma Gandhi's slogans at him.
Rahul, dude, what has happened to your fashion sense? Take a bath atleast someday! And we know you're an addict but why show it in public? Coming to these media conferences fully stoned and blown out of your mind, what was that all about? You talk about things that even you yourself don't know about, make yourself a laughing stock at your rallies and above all that troll your own partymen? And stop being a mama's boy for once. If other party's policies are fancier than yours, why do you have to make such a hue and cry over it? Grow up dude, grow up!
Finally, I am getting to some serious advice here- Go UNDERGROUND for atleast next 4 years. Just get the hell out of public domain ! You must've seen Hancock? (I think it's A-rated so not in the theatres but pirated?) Same principle. You wait for people to miss you. Hope for Modi to fail or decline in his popularity all of a sudden and comeback in a new Avatar in 2018. Start gearing up for 2019 elections and this time be a good boy and remember your speeches by heart.
And for god's sake. if there is any piece of intelligence left in you, don't contest these 2014 elections! Don't get yourself nominated as the party's PM candidate. It'll only add to your misery and congress's mockery.


Sir, heartiest congratulations for being selected as party's PM candidate. But what have you done? You rolled out the carpet for AAP in Delhi ! This just shows that people do not really like you. They'll vote for any dickhead who raises his voice against corruption. (*AK's not a Dickhead)
You were the major force behind driving in the country the anti-corruption, anti-congress wave. You were perceived as the ray of hope, a person who would eradicate corruption and do something real for common man. The light of change that you were, have let someone else bask in your glory. You are flawless. But your partymen aren't. They are leaving no stone upturned to create as many hurdles in  your way as possible. Anointment of Yedyurappa, weird statements from your party ministers especially Rajnath singh and RSS pulling up bizarre policies every now and then, you really have a tough time ahead. Mr. Advani lamenting on your success isn't a good sign either.
So, it's finally time to let your horses loose and put everything you have on stake. More time you wait for the arrival of the right time to start your campaigning, more hiccups will be created by the regional parties. And like AAP, they will eat your votebank. So, it's high time to let NaMo roar as loudly as possible. The NaMo decibel should silence all other parties. This thunder should be heard in each and every corner of the country.


Is he still alive? O_O
It is worth mentioning here that the author of this blog doesn't give a shit about Raj Thackery. His only appearance here is because of the little news headline he grabbed this morning by calling his party, "The BAAP of AAP". Someone is finally accepting his true age.
The only advice to him that the author of this blog can give is - stop dyeing your hair man! You look ridiculous!


You, sir, turned out to be even a bigger motherfucker than your father, didn't you? Well, no advice for you either, for we all need an example for ourselves of how not to raise a fucked up child. Although we do have Rahul as a serious contender for this category. Anyways,we, the educated ones, also need you to continue on your political path because frankly, we do need a gentle reminder that dirty politics by congress is not so dirty after all.

With the last lines, the author became untraceable.
After reading this, I can probably say that it was only because of the lack of popularity of his blog that he managed to cross Indian borders alive. 

Wednesday, 8 January 2014

A goodbye is all that takes.

I was recently viewing one of my favourite blogs and I happened to pull up a light humour on the author of that blog, who in my opinion is a good person. But to my utter surprise, he toook an offense for it and said things he shouldn't have. Those things, although it was just a one line statement calling me a "dick", I would have brushed it aside like it never happened. But coming from a person I thought I knew, really hurts. I am having this kind of a problem everywhere, it seems. People, who I think I know, are giving me really some unexpected blows every now and then. I happened to have made some awesome friends with some girls and now we're not even talking anymore. And I was all fine by it. You don't want to talk to me, fine. I bid you goodbye and hope you have a happy life. This is my attitude. I don't like to keep any grudge nor am I having such a low self esteem that I will have to try and be dominating. But what hurt is that these things are not reciprocated. Those people back bitched about me and it really did hurt. Not by what they said but more by who said it. Because you never expect someone who was once so close to you, could ever say those things afterwards. I always thought there is even some dignity in rivalry. Well, atleast from the place I come from there definitely is.
 Life is all but an act of letting go. You meet people. You make friends with them. You lose them and you make some more in the journey of your life. But all this thing comes to the point of saying a dignified "goodbye" in the end. A symbol that makes you value the relationship you had, howsoever small it may have been. That the precious moments of my life I had spent with you were cherished and I will miss them. A "goodbye" that can minimise the pain of separation. I had a friend whom I could not say that to. And I will always feel guilty about it. Though our time together was short, but it was the most cherished time I had spent and has bore quite a mark on my heart. Just letting go of people respectfully and in a dignified manner makes us better people. People without grudges. People without hatred in their veins. Whenever life throws stones at you. you just cannot throw stones back at it. You just embrace yourself for it and try to keep moving forward. Same thing has to be with people. If someone hurts you bad, try not to hurt them back. They may think you're being weak, maybe that you even don't know how to hurt back but the truth is you don't want to hurt that person no matter what has happened between you two. This is the principle of my life. This principle is tested many times. Even I am looked down by others due to it. Ridiculed you might say. But your good deeds never go unrewarded. Like mine. I did lose quite a few friends this time around but I did make some too. And even amended things with one of my very old friend with whom I had a fallout about 3-4 years ago. Well, what can be the greater reward than that? And a greater proof that my attitude has been right and this principle really does work?
Finally, I would just say this- People will never behave according to your whims and fancies. You got to understand this. There might be some serious points of differences between you two and even some deeper issues about some person. But above all this, people are not bad from inside. A relationship has to be moulded by soft hands like a cotton candy gradually. You try and beat it with hammer, it will fall apart like it never existed. Even if that relationship is not working anymore, and it might be any kind of relationship, be it love interest or friendship or even with your family, if you have to let go of a person, let him or her go without any hatred or grudges in your heart. Our hearts are too pure for the blood mixed with hatred to be running in it. I didn't have any regrets in any of my relationships that have ended. And so there was no hatred nor any kind of remorse or anger. It had to happen someday, it's bad it happened so soon. A reciprocal feeling of respect and dignity might not come at that exact time but one would hope it would, in the future. And when it does, you will see that how much you have outgrown that person :)

Good night.