Losing weight has been a long lust for me and finally, I did lose some of it but it's still far from my desired target. But noticeable differences are there and I am not liking this change. I hate change. Therefore, shamelessly, I put out the list of reasons why I liked myself better when I was 'FAT' :
1) This one's pretty obvious. I hate to lose weight because in the process I would have to forego of my love of McDonald's, Domino's, Wimpy's, Berco's, MOD, Dunkin' donuts' and the list goes on and on. Because I am that kind of person who chooses food before sex. Although, I wonder if I might be right here. Girl? Or Bread? HUh! Like Joey (From Friends) I want a girl on my bread! :D
(kuch seekho nalayako, jaha pe zaroorat na bhi ho, waha pe dialogue kaise chepe jaate hain !)
2) Being fat, I never had to bother to speak. Just keep your mouth filled with stuff all the time and no one would dare to interrupt your foreplay at a party! And also, when you're losing an audience which I kinda feel imminent on my blog, you can always attribute it to the large fatty cheeks that hinder your speech !
3) And talking about parties, it had been so profitable to take me to the buffets or the parties. I really extracted all the value of money.. yes!
4) And dancing like nuts on marriage celebration. I am not happy that my brother or sister will be getting laid from now onwards and I will be left out! So, being fat, I could always find an excuse of not dancing hysterically on these goddamn weddings!
(Yeah! Even I miss that too.. )
5) Going away from the scenario of public gatherings, I figured that my fatness was also a good excuse for me to convince my parents to fly me on business class or even get me those swanky gold class lounge tickets at movie theatres. But genuinely, who can fit on those economy seats?
6) And I used to come with a whole lot of package. I could use my tummy to drive a car around. Unfortunately, I have lost this superpower now :(
7) And I did come with the perfect package. When I used to meet a girl, I was like " Hey bitch! Look my boobs! They are bigger than yours!" And they really felt complexed. I have seen it on their faces..
8) And I fucking had 3 pack abs man! One family pack and two on the torso ! :P
9) Also, when I think, fat was my layer of protection, no? If somebody was to stab me, which I am sure by the number of enemies I have made are already planning to, fat would provide me with extra protection! It's tragic that my cover's been lost :(
10) Finally, I would've never fallen into the pot. You know what I mean? Like your fat butt cheeks are hanging out of the toilet seat and the water jet doesn't even reach your tushie.. Yeah something like that. Another horrible thing to find out that, you can actually fall into the pot where you did potty :P
Yours sincerely,
20kgs reduced IHY
By the way, is it just me or do you people also find it utterly bizarre that we all are the products of horniness of two human beings? O_o
1) This one's pretty obvious. I hate to lose weight because in the process I would have to forego of my love of McDonald's, Domino's, Wimpy's, Berco's, MOD, Dunkin' donuts' and the list goes on and on. Because I am that kind of person who chooses food before sex. Although, I wonder if I might be right here. Girl? Or Bread? HUh! Like Joey (From Friends) I want a girl on my bread! :D
(kuch seekho nalayako, jaha pe zaroorat na bhi ho, waha pe dialogue kaise chepe jaate hain !)
2) Being fat, I never had to bother to speak. Just keep your mouth filled with stuff all the time and no one would dare to interrupt your foreplay at a party! And also, when you're losing an audience which I kinda feel imminent on my blog, you can always attribute it to the large fatty cheeks that hinder your speech !
3) And talking about parties, it had been so profitable to take me to the buffets or the parties. I really extracted all the value of money.. yes!
4) And dancing like nuts on marriage celebration. I am not happy that my brother or sister will be getting laid from now onwards and I will be left out! So, being fat, I could always find an excuse of not dancing hysterically on these goddamn weddings!
(Yeah! Even I miss that too.. )
5) Going away from the scenario of public gatherings, I figured that my fatness was also a good excuse for me to convince my parents to fly me on business class or even get me those swanky gold class lounge tickets at movie theatres. But genuinely, who can fit on those economy seats?
6) And I used to come with a whole lot of package. I could use my tummy to drive a car around. Unfortunately, I have lost this superpower now :(
7) And I did come with the perfect package. When I used to meet a girl, I was like " Hey bitch! Look my boobs! They are bigger than yours!" And they really felt complexed. I have seen it on their faces..
8) And I fucking had 3 pack abs man! One family pack and two on the torso ! :P
9) Also, when I think, fat was my layer of protection, no? If somebody was to stab me, which I am sure by the number of enemies I have made are already planning to, fat would provide me with extra protection! It's tragic that my cover's been lost :(
10) Finally, I would've never fallen into the pot. You know what I mean? Like your fat butt cheeks are hanging out of the toilet seat and the water jet doesn't even reach your tushie.. Yeah something like that. Another horrible thing to find out that, you can actually fall into the pot where you did potty :P
Yours sincerely,
20kgs reduced IHY
By the way, is it just me or do you people also find it utterly bizarre that we all are the products of horniness of two human beings? O_o
Well, I am 10 kg overweight according to my BMI scale and I just hate the idea of doing physical workout (like going to gym or on jogging everyday) to reduce my weight. All I can do is to cut short on fatty meals and drinking green tea all day. But I still love the way I am. I don't feel jealous when I see slim people than me I instead find people who are fatter than me. :)
ReplyDeleteYou should always love yourself. I loved my boobs. Hope you love yours as much as i did mine. And if they aren't as expected, time to put on 10 more kgs!
ReplyDeleteBy the way if you genuinely want to reduce weight, just reduce your current diet by half.
I must say, you are quite a person.. It's good that you loved yourself with your boobs and all, but taking care of yourself is a big part of loving yourself.
ReplyDeleteThat was supposed to be sarcastic. I am not quite sure what made you believe I loved myself like that but i think i should have made it aptly clear that it was pure sarcasm. The best jokes are the ones which we do on ourselves.
DeleteAnd FYI my reply to ankit's comment was also sarcasm. I should have ended it with this ":P" smiley to make it more sarcastic! :P :D
DeleteWith all that weight lost, youve lost your in-built weight training system. Now youll have to spend your hard earned money on buying dumbbells. Sympathies brother. :(
ReplyDeleteUpdated my blog. Do drop by.
Cheers
CRD
Na, I lost weight not by dieting but by exercising. Also, I have been going to the gym so no worries for muscle building. 16 inch biceps are a nice thing to look at :P
DeleteAnd don't be jealous that I reduced my weight ! Hahaha! Lol!
By the way, I don't earn. I would've said that I am doing studies right now but it's also contradictory :P
Nice to see you man. Hope you come by more often :)
Drive car with tummy? Dude, you are crazy, even if you are 20kgs lighter now. :D
ReplyDeleteOMG! I'm on diet right now but I don't think I'll miss my fat self for anything :P
ReplyDeletePS: I'm trying to find the reason why I need to earn when I can't eat all the goodies (I'm a foodie and so I of course need to go on diet)