Thursday, 5 September 2013

Teacher's day hate post

I just hate teachers. Hate them to death sometimes. This hatred towards teachers primarily arose from the last two years of my schooling. Because the teachers I got in 11th and 12th grade were the worst people you can ever deal with in the whole world. Take my physics teacher for example, a jat by birth, an idiot by choice and a dickhead when it came to teaching. A stark introvert and a big bully, he was a teacher that used to bully his students. And I am not saying this because I hate him to death but because he really was. You won't believe it but he occasionally used abusive language for his students. And my god! I was so surprised to see a master-type teacher in my private and so reputed school. I still remember my first meeting with him like it happened yesterday.
I was seated in the middle seat of the middle row in my class and turn by turn he was asking students their name and where they lived and also the subjects they hate. Came my turn and I was standing like pillar with a mouth and coyly told my name "Abhiss.. umm..Abhishek Singhal." He raised his eyebrows, murmured something to himself and thunderd, "abe tera naam kya hai?"
I was more surprised than scared because I never expected such gentle looking man could have such a speech. Boy, I got so angry at that time that I nearly exploded "Abhishek Singhal, dearest sir" I thundered even louder than him, my voice echoing through every corner of the room. He looked well-shaken and now in a slightly timid voice asked me where I lived. When I told so, he said out of the blue,"Mujhe pitwa mat diyo". And I was just dumb struck.

I had to spend my next two years with that bastard. Recalling some other instances, I once had a physics viva and rather than asking me the questions related to the practical, he started off on a very cool note by asking, which chapter is my strongest. I thought maybe he is coming back to his senses but boy! i was so wrong. He was actually preparing to humiliate me to every bone. Asked me the toughest question, I couldn't answer and he was just shouting at me, saying things I wish he hadn't said. I was so devastated by what followed. Like everything good in me has been slowly poisoned. I became more and more disinterested in school, their works and my marks there.. I just didn't give a damn anymore. Results were quite clear. I had fallen from 9.8 CGPA in 10th to 60% in 11th. People and mostly my parents related this slide down to different causes but only I knew what was actually going on. My parents knew too but somehow they couldn't show their helplessness in front of me.

To make things a little better, I thought taking private tuition lessons in 12th was going to be a good idea. Mostly because everyone else in our batch used to take tuitions from him. It was so wrong. Bullying children to take tuition from him. But, I thought it would be the best way to maybe end his bullying. Afterall, my life's at stake. So, I started taking private lessons from him but it also turned out to be such a bad idea. Actually, he didn't use to teach at all. He used compete. Every single time, saying he did this question right in his head and I couldn't do it with a pen even. And paying him Rs 800 an hour, his bullying in the school stopped. Miraculously or by money. But I knew it wasn't going to go like this. I was the star boy at my institute and falling to prey to such asshole, it was below my dignity. Ultimately, I left his classes for good. Bullying started again, but this time I was harsher than ever.
During my last board practical when the tensions were at their peak, he once again started barking at me for no reason "practical dene aa jaiyo!" And some other far fetched abuses. This was it. I was giving my biology practical, stopped writing at this very instant. Shoved away my answer sheet, got up from my chair, rolled up my sleeves, went straight up to him and got so close to his face that I could hear him breath restlessly. Being 6'1'' I  overshadowed him completely. I was visibly agitated. I said sternly,"Do you have a problem sir? "
And boy, the whole class was looking at the two of us. He said," Practical me chutti mat maar liyo!" "Already said and heard" I replied in crisp english. And the man went away. I wasn't expecting this. I was ready to punch him in the face but then again this man surprised me. He never ceased to do so. My biology teacher, was however, more compassionate and more attached to me. He calmed me down and told me to let it go. I complied.

That was the last incident I ever got involved in. I had realised the bigger picture that time. I had a target which was greater than him. He was just an obstacle. I had to overcome him. Sadly, I couldn't. The realisation came too late. The ship had already sailed and I wasn't anywhere near it.

The point is he overpowered me. Like nothing else has done before. He poisoned every good in me slowly and steadily. He damaged my faith, shattered my trust and ruined my emotions. I had to rebuilt myself. My confidence and my sense from scratch. I had completely lost faith in teachers and also in people. But time heals most of the things. And this time, I had whole one full year before me to build myself. I was going to the Aakash institute and the teachers there were so supportive. But still, I didn't let anyone of them get close to me. I was too afraid to think about the repercussions. And then once came a hard time in the institute even and I thought I wasn't ready to handle it. This time I had an option and therefore, I left. Hence, for good 7 months I studied at home without a teacher, without anyone to guide me and I was finally, so close to getting what I wanted, admission to MBBS but then again, the destiny had something else in store for me  and I ended up in BDS. Not bad but certainly not great. I many a times hold him primarily responsible for such a chain of events that lead me to believe exactly opposite of what I used to. I had to rebuilt myself and I think I forgot to include many important pieces of me. That's why I sometimes feel so hollow from inside. Now, I make friends very easily. Like never before. But my friendships are shallower than ever. I am now certainly more meaner and there is a lot more "I" than "we" in my conversations. All of this because of a single man who made taught me the biggest lesson of my life "What people really are". I miss the warmth I had, the compassion with which I used to do every task and the motivation that used  to drive me out of the bed every morning. Now, it's just like the mended glass which can never be the same once it had been cracked.
All of this, all the efforts of other teachers, all my efforts over the past few years, negated and poisoned to every inch because of this one person who I had innocently believed as my parent because we are told that teachers are just like our parents. 


  1. I have had similar experiences in my 11th and 12th. I slipped down ranks because of how some teachers treated us. The treatment was so utterly disgusting. But, fortunately, in school and graduation and post graduation, I have had the best teachers, not because their teaching was flawless, but because their behaviour made them easily approachable and I find that a very important quality in teachers, the good ones.

    P.S. But, you know I feel this incident made you stronger than you were before. It is ok dude, MBBS nahin toh BDS sahi, who knows what you will find between those golden teeth? :)

    1. Chalo finally someone read this post.. :D
      I know BDS is also equally good. But it was a second option so naturally,I have something against it. And you too? Sigh..nobody should go through such an ordeal.
      And yes, it did make me stronger as i had written in the last paragraph..hopefully, I won't have to go through the same twice..
      But anyways, thanx a ton for your lovely and supportive words di:) :)

    2. Both of you, Pooja ji, and Heard You ji are really lucky in a way. You got an experience at 15-16 years of age, one that I had to wait till 21 to get. There is another part to it: sometimes, when we are in positions of authority, we might be messing up with people subordinate or inferior to us without even knowing it. Once while playing football, me and a friend collided in a bad way. My knee stuck his nose and cheek. I later said I did not feel anything. His reply: It was your knee, and it was my face. Would have been better in Hindi.

      To Mr. Heard You: Please don't feel bad about losing the ability to have trust in others. This is a very practical quality to have in today's world. Just being able to reciprocate people's faith is enough. That being said, I personally am the kind of person who will put faith in anyone. Mostly because I can learn only the hard way.

      About the teacher:
      1. I am gonna make sure my Harayanvi friends read this.
      2. My dad worked as a teacher in the early 80s for a few years. One of the strategies he shared with me was about discipling a class. You just beat up the biggest kid or the one with the most influence in the class. Rest of them sit quietly then on. I think something similar happened with you.

      Both me and you (Heard You) need to calm down in such situations and think over it. Of course this is a paradox, calming down in 'uncalming' situations. But this is what we need to learn, and learn fast.

      About people, I would say stop thinking of them as good. Man is not a rational being, as economists would have us believe. Man is a psychological egoist. (Ladies too :-) )
      Think like this for some time, and you will automatically get to a balanced state of thinking good/bad about others.

      And no matter what happens, summarize the events in your head, learn something from them (as you have already), try to forget them, and do whatever you can to feel happy.

    3. Thanks for the showing the support KK. And your father used an interesting strategy ^_* But believe me, it was nothing like that. It was even tougher for some other friends of mine. And haryanvi people? Lol :D
      And don't worry yr, I am way over these things now. It happened 2 years back. Being the teacher's day, it just brought back some bad memories, that's all.
      Really a pleasure to hear from you sir! :)

      And I know we will all be men and women, it was just a bloody catchphrase in use in america! You watch enough english movies, i thought you would comprehend :P

  2. Dear Abhishek!

    Whatever happened was not correct but don't feel shattered. You did not get MBBS it doesn't mean you don't have it in you, always try to do in best way whatever you get. Keep faith in yourself that't the big thing which you don't have to loose. All the people who say negative about you or try to crash your self confidence take that as a silent challenge to yourself and give a silent slap on their face by succeeding.

    Every one has to go through from a down/low phase in their life, some gets it early while some gets it later but once you get in to this phase be happy because your rising phase is gonna start soon. The Phoenix is only made by rising, fall and then again rising.

    Don't let your self confidence shatter (I know its difficult to do it in such time). Sometimes parents also don't understand from what you are going through so its that fight which you have to fight alone.

    I know bahut Gyaan wardhak baatein ho gayi but my dear I am telling you from my personal experience.

    Best of luck for BDS and Oye sun!! hume appointment de dena baad me with some discount in your fees, Doctor Sahab!!! :D

    1. Oh! Man! Ab to mai sahi me senti ho gaya :D
      But seriously ankit ji, thanks for your motivational words. I feel better already. Now, I will have some load full of good things to bear in mind when I shall go to the college, all thanks to you again :)

      Tumhare liye to free engineer sahab! :D <3

  3. Oh poor you,how much you have suffered.Others are writing praiseworthy blogs on this sacred day and look at you.....;)you know the difference between your post & there? At least you are honest with your words.
    I believe every student has stumbled upon bullheads in thee lives.Am no different.They are real sucker & i so resonate with you on tuition vala point.Its more of a business then sacred teaching.

  4. Trust me i know this feeling of being ruined.I have been mentally crippled by the maths teacher in 11th % 12th to such level that i even couldn't pass that subject even after scoring 92% in same subject in grade x.Phew you got guidance later, I couldn't even get that and ended up scoring merely 70% in commerce which was a shame.That phase is over still it ruined my career goals.That wasn't enough..circumstances happened! :x

  5. I know what you are talking about. Until my 10th, I studied in co-head. Then I shifted to the most reputed Girls Convent School in the city for my high school. Boy, was that the wrong move! Teachers took my case every day because I was bit shy and introvert, and girls laughed at me because I couldn't understand their craze for boys (until then I had studied with boys)...Thankfully, these things just made me appreciate books more than humans. In fact, I consider them the primary reason why I gained so many degrees :D