Tuesday, 4 June 2013

The different types of bloggers (sigh)

I had been reading extensively many blogs of late and I am so full of crap right now. Many of the blogs were pathetic, some were good but I still have not been able to find the best ones. Here's my  rant about the types of blogs that are present on the blogosphere :-

1) The singular ones- They relate to one topic and give us the whole library of shit about that topic.
Some of them are talking about stupid technology and stuff while the others talk crap about a
single problem our society is facing.And after some posts they themselves start blurting out the solutions  and finally a stage is reached when their belief in the government and society fails! Sigh! Losers!

2) The baby ones- These are the most obnoxious of all. They keep on writing about how adorable their baby is, what they feed him, how he clenched their fists and how hard he sucked on the nipple while breastfeeding! Dear Lord! I don't want to know any of that stuff! You had a baby, congrats, now just shut the hell up and come back down to the earth. We earthians have still not descended to the babydom!

3) The marriage ones- Aww! I just feel terrible thinking of the saddening things these blogs offer. They put up posts on each and every account of their marriage process. And I would have to say that until this time I haven't found a single blog that does not rant about indian marriage system. They all crib about that overly extrovert affair of the indian marriage process but enjoy it to the fullest! Not to mention the fact that they are overly obsessive about arranged marriages. Sigh! They think the world revolves around them during their 'marriage time' and everybody is interested to know their opinions about arranged marriage! Deep deep sighs! Dork!

4)The general ones- These I found to be much more sane but to a certain level only. First like me, they start out by telling you the story of their lives. When you get more hooked on their blogs they start publishing posts on problems they face. In between all their nonsense they become the self-appointed governors of the society and put their judgement on every evil the society is facing today. They are deeply saddened by the problems the society faces but are optimistic at the same time! (Why didn't I die before reading any of this!) Furthermore, they start giving out relationship advice, finally bring out their ultra-post about sex/alcohol and think they have broken the traditional social arrangement of India and take proud in calling themselves the 'wind of change'!! Oh! dear lord! Morons!

5)The ones who don't publish anything- They are the best in class. they have created a blog, but do not post anything on it. I think they have left it blank for the readers to fill. Oh you've come to my blog-please write something on it. It's been blank for years.
Some of them create blogs and post stuff on it but disable the public reading. They are like, you have come to my blog, eh? I won't let you inside unless you give me $50. That' the entry fee!
The blogger awards for the best blog should be given to them because they have smartly left out to readers' imagination what is on their blog actually! LOL!

6) The overly good ones- Many of you must have seen a post where a person posts a wallpaper from his desktop and write some stupid 2-3 lines below it, which for the record, only he can understand. These are the haiku ones and utterly absurd and stupid! These are the ones that make me the angriest of all. I mean, are you nuts? Posting a picture of tree and then writing how green it is just like your life! Are you out of your fucking mind? I think they all are out of their senses because these blogs harness maximum number of comments. Oh! How beautiful ! Lovely! What a piece of art !  Piece of art, my ass!

There also different habits of bloggers that I have found intriguing. They go on great lengths explaining their problems. For instance, I was once on a blog who kept on ranting about the poor sanitory conditions in india. I kept on thinking to myself-"Just give this lady a damn portable toilet and she'll be happy for the rest of her life!!" Imean it is only what you can offer at a practical level. I cannot go and start abhishek singhal shauchalya seva! (hmm, not a bad idea! lol!)

PS- It's only for quick humour and those who cannot gulp down such humour should refrain from commenting. I don't want another round of debate on i was wrong, you were right! You are always right. Happy?

24 comments:

  1. Who wouldn't like this humour? Hitler, Mussolini and co are dead, and weren't bloggers anyways.

    Thankfully, I have not had as big a sampling of blogs as you. But yes, people would rather like stuff that appeals to them, rather than what only the blogger likes. Great job categorizing all the types :-)

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    1. thanx! And dude, just accept it- I am the father of Hitler. You have done so many debates with me and ...the rest is history!

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  2. Haha.. So which category i fall in?? :P
    It was a fun read anyways.. ;)

    Happy Blogging!

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    1. Come on dude! Don't play with me now..you know I have intentionally left out the good categories!

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  3. Umm....I might be the general one...:( Now you make me feel so bad about myself. :P

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    1. No you aren't!! I feel pathetic now!

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  4. Bloggers have often been called weird. But who cares, right? :) As long as we have a space on which we can scribble about anything that we like, why bother? :)
    Now I'm wondering where I lie too :P I guess you should allot a category for all of us :)

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    1. Yeah, I agree we are as weird as those poets and philosophers! I am seriously considering on that last proposal! :P (And BTW, welcome to my blog :) )

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  5. Firstly, congrats on the picture of yourself on your blog page :p
    He he...kya badnaami kiya hain? :p I think I will fall into all the categories very soon.

    I like this kind of humour. Maybe, I am a sick person. That's why.:p
    Just kidding..chill maar.

    All of them have their own writing style and all readers have their own reading style. So, I guess all blogs are on the blogosphere for a reason.

    P.S. : Btw, how many hate mails did you receive after this? :p

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    1. Ek bhi hate mail nhi aya! I made people really scared through my Post script!
      And about that photo..dhanyawad dhanyawad!
      what can I tell you about that sickness-just that whenever I am in trouble, I resort to sick comedy!!

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  6. ohh man!! this is so judgmental! :D I have no idea where do I fall! But nonetheless.. I'll keep ranting anyway.. as long as it keeps coming out, am good! :D

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  7. been for quite a time in blogging, but never thought which category I would belong to! And aapne to meri aankhe khol di! :P Now I will have tough time deciding the category, as, well, I don't know which term doesn't synchronizes with me! :P

    It's a good one man, such a bold act to write about the very world you are a part of :P although i am not saying you also come n one of those categories (because you have safely excluded that part :P)

    the sick comedy is wonderful :P :)

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    1. I fall into the 4th category, the general one :D
      And Welcome to my blog ( claps and hooting ) :)

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  8. This one cracked me up. :)

    Somehow, I couldn't place myself in any category. I have not talked about life on the blog, never been vocal about how I hate the Indian marriage system especially the arranged marriages so haven't definitely arrived to the 'I love my baby' phase !

    Maybe you should write about another category of bloggers who write some absurd stories and disappear for a while only to come back with more absurdity after a long hibernation - Then, I could be happy knowing I belong to some category ! :P

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  9. Thank you for visiting my blog. You seemed intrigued by my photography. I liked your comment. Good luck with your blog :)

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  10. And then there are blogs which are popular for God knows what reason!!
    You should also do a post on types of comments on blogosphere :)

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  11. @Loredana- Oh please, don't thank me. Your photography is really wonderful. thank you for taking time out for seeing my blog.

    @Nisha- I think I'll pass..I somehow do agree with your perception...!Some blogs are popular for no reason at all..(sigh)

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  12. LOL, firstly I find you hilarious! I have to agree with most of what you've said. Except, (commenting on what you said for haikus), poetry has its own beauty as well :)

    The only types of bloggers that really irritate me are the ones who act like they are the masters of the universe because they have so many followers!

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    1. thanks! poetry has its own beauty but everybody is not blessed with the eyes to witness it :( (no prizes for guessing who doesn't have them)

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  13. Hahaha
    You forgot one kind where they categorised all they come across. Hihi

    So where do I stand here?
    2? (I got a baby n I write about him !)
    3? (I am married ofcourse )

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  14. Or can be 4?
    I do write general things !

    Or 5?
    I don't write at all at times !

    Pls pls pls tell me where do I stand on your list ! Damn now I won't be able to sleep until I find out :P

    Lol
    Seems like someone is quite frustrated now a days with the qualities of blogs now a days :)

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    1. Yeah, well, actually you do blog about these things. But unfortunately, you fit into none of the categories! Yours was one of the first blogs I had read as a newcomer to blogger, and I found it really amazing! It will be a real shame for me if I in anyway connect this post of mine with your blog...

      But because you haven't posted in several months I am gonna award you the best category i.e. 5th !! :D

      And I am not frustrated, I was just making fun of those who use blogger as their facebook timeline to be true!
      And look what i got-SO many hits! Even you were curious!

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    2. Ofcourse i was curious ! Everyone is curious to know which category they fit in ;-)

      And i did post in April and last week, so there you see, haven't left it blank for years ;-)
      But but but now that you put me on 5th, i am intrigued by idea to not let you inside unless you give me $50. hehehe

      Jokes apart thanks for the nice words :-)
      And i did know you were just making fun, and so was i pulling your legs ;-)

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    3. ya, maybe i deserve to be charged that $50 entry fee!
      I know you were pulling my leg! Maybe I deserved that too :D :D

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