Disclaimer: This is a guest post from my favorite blogger Pooja di (Thoughtless Ramifications).
The Post :
When “Mr. I Heard You” aka “Abhishek Singhal” aka “Chhotu” asked me to write a guest post for his blog, I readily agreed. I had to, I had no choice. Even if I paid someone and asked them to post my article on their blogs, I am sure they would have turned me down with a smirk and this guy here was jumping into the well readily, without me having to push him into it. :D With a huge smile on my face, I did say a yes, but, I now faced a bigger problem. What do I write about? I had a lot of options namely – a book review, a self-help post, my signature styled thoughtless posts, and other rants about my newly married status, but, I didn’t want to write anything on any of these. I wanted to write something about quarter life crisis, but I decided to call it “Life: Under Construction.”
I know many of us face issues while choosing the right course, the right career and the right partner. They seem to be the most important aspects of our lives and they seem to be the most difficult of choices to make. I have faced all these issues myself. Now, when I look back at them, I smile to myself thinking of the ruckus I created when I had to make those choices I did. Let me share with you my experiences.
After 12th boards, I wanted to choose Arts. I wanted to get into either journalism or advertising. But, my parents thought I was a very good student and I should take up Engineering. I loathed Engineering. Now, me being a good student had nothing to do with the course I had to choose, right? But, well, my parents and I did some bargaining and I ended up doing my graduation and subsequently postgraduation in Biochemistry, and let me tell you I love the subject, second to none. End result: I am happy with the course I chose. It might not have been my first choice, but, it wasn’t my last choice either. Sometimes it is better to choose a middle ground. A bargain that keeps you and everyone around happy is something that is worth the bargain.
Coming to career, I had got selected in a very reputed company through campus recruitment and what did I do? I joined the company and left it after 3 months, because I didn’t love the job. It was being a little mean to my well-being and I chose to quit. My parents weren’t happy once again, but, I had to put my foot down. I sat at home for 5 months without a job. It is not that I wasn’t getting any other offers. I was getting many, but, nothing made me happy. I, then joined an organization many of them had asked me not to join. But, I did and let me tell you I loved working there. I miss it so much nowadays after having moved to US. Had I listened to others and not joined this company, I probably would have joined some other company, but, I must say that this experience, I, probably, wouldn’t have got anywhere else. Sometimes, there is no bargain - you don’t like the choices others give you and they think that your choice is going to be a big mistake. But, if you believe in your choice, go for it, even if it turns out to be a mistake, it is going to be “YOUR OWN MISTAKE” and you will have no one to blame. Trust me, blaming yourself is much better than regretting living on a choice others made for you.
Coming to marriage, well, I took my chances I must say. After seeing a few proposals, I said ‘yes’ to a guy very soon. You must be thinking that maybe he was everything I wanted in my life-partner. No, infact, he was totally opposite of what I wanted in my guy. I wanted a guy who was a nerd, loved books and looked like a totally responsible son-in-law. But, err, my husband, on the first meeting, was anything but that. He was this guy with a tattoo and ear studs and to me, didn’t look like he would love books. Infact, he doesn’t. But, I still said a ‘yes’ thinking he would anyway say a ‘no’. Instead, he said a yes and now am married to him for 8 months and he is a gem of a guy. What made me say a ‘yes’ to him? The realization that every person or everything need not be the way they appear to be. There is always a layer of truth we ought to see with our, err, I don’t know what to call it, say, intuitional or emotional sense. Sometimes, you need to listen very carefully to your own self to know what you really want. There is always a conflict between our emotional and practical senses. Choose the right one at the right time. How will you know which is right? Well, your own intuition will guide you. Might not happen in every situation, but, it does happen when you most need it.
I am no antaryaami nor am I a person who has dealt with major problems in life. But, to each person, his/her own problem is of a greater magnitude. Also, at a stage where we are building a persona of our own, even minute problems appear to disturb us to a great extent. Don’t be afraid. Don’t give up on your dreams. Don’t lose yourself. Just remember, you are responsible for your own life. Make your own mistakes. Blaming anyone for the choice they made for you will not help you nor them. Remember, it is your own life and no self-help books nor any motivational talks like these will help you. You have to be your own guide because you know yourself the best. Lead a happy life and don’t worry. Building and rebuilding is a process we will have to keep doing throughout our lives, because it is, after all, a “Life: Under Construction”
P.S- Thanks a ton for such a lovely post pooja di. It's a masterpiece, I can bet on that !