Sunday, 24 March 2013

Happy Budday chotu !

Hi chotu,
hope this letter finds you in good shape. I am as you know just going through all those monotonous stuff I told you last time. Except one thing is changed. I had stopped going to the classes since November last. It was becoming awry and I had to take a decision.  Anyways, I don't think it worked any wonders for me but I am proud that I took some stand. i think you'll have first made fun of me but then would have praised me. You had this quality to think rationally over matters. Now, I don't mean to sound overly pathetic but this time is the worst time of my life. It ought to be. I am glad you are not here to witness all this. Actually,I am a bit jealous. I have to go through all of this hell and you have just evaded all of it. Sahil, as usual is into that 'chilli potato' state. He always will be. I haven't heard much from him since the last year. He has moved on and I didn't think it would have been so fast. I think it can be attributed to his 'girl'friends as well as so many 'boy'friends! I try to learn to live in the moment from him but ultimately, I scornfully return back to my original state, much like you. And speaking of states do you still remember that kashmiri ch^&*%# incident? We both had so much fun that time. And hey, what is this deal with your sister? I sent her a fb friend request and she still hasn't accepted it. Is there something wrong with me? I also sent a similar request to RJ but she did not respond too. We could have played another prank on them like we played on taploo! I still roll all over the floor laughing at that incident. Oh! man, we had so many hilarious incidents! if I start listing them, it will take like 200 hours! But some of them are priceless. Like the way you played Namaaz in the middle of the class or how wittily you gave cranky answers to our one and only Ranjit sir. I think all of this happened just the other day. And couldn't you have found a better girlfriend than Shefali? She is rude with me and I don't like her for that reason. And she is such a draamebazz. She just starts crying hearing your name and I feel like slapping her! I can't tolerate it. Am I losing it? No. So why is she? It makes it harder for me if you'll know.

Keeping the old memories aside, your father and mother are hopefully alright. Your sister is too. I couldn't muster the courage to meet them once again. And you know, I have always gotten this feeling that your mother didn't like me same way as my mother didn't like you. Not in the literary sense but both of them had qualms over our wild activities.I didn't have any plans for you this birthday for obvious reasons. Shit! dude, why does your budday falls on these days when either our exams are going on or our results are being announced? The last time, you ditched me for your girlfriend (rappy right? Too bad shefali came late) and ended up completely ruining your date but I still did not say anything. I should have at that time itself given you a piece of my mind. I searched my diary and found I haven't written good stuff about you either(sorry bro). But now when I remember, I think I had spent the best days of my life with you. Those were so awesome that  I still can't ride my bike nor can I go to et al, nor can I eat chilli potato! And there are many nor(s) I can't do. After your demise I never gathered up myself. I mean how could you be so cruel? On friday we talked after such a long gap. And it was such a lengthy one and I have to admit that I was in a hurry. I had to study and thought you were wasting my time. I think we talked about after a month or so because we had been avoiding each other ever since we dropped our year. But on Sunday you died without even giving any notice or anything. How good? If you ever come to life once again, na, mark my words, I will myself beat you to death! If I knew that would have been our last talk.... Maybe it was in my destiny to see you for one last time.
But let's not be so emotional, you died, good for you, bad for me. I heard you are living a life up there. If you meet God, please ask him to help me to clear my exam,  and yes I am selfish ha!right in your face! Living is a lot harder than dying. Bad thing is you died a virgin or did you??LOL! Just so that you know I haven't made any friend ever since you died but not because I am so emotional about you. No, because I have stopped interacting to people and i will never let anyone become this much closer ever. It hurts rather badly. I don't miss you but somehow you always spring in my memory. I want to delete my time with you so I have developed a hatred towards you. Hatred makes it easy to forget someone but not for an asshole like you! I want to hate you but hating you makes me feel scared. I am scared now for most of the days. I analysed this fear but couldn't find what I am scared of.

You do look awful in my spectacles! And small !
This your budday right? So why the hell am I talking about me? And I wish you a very happy budday. You could've turned 19 today but no, you are such dog that you decided it wouldn't suit you to live. We had many plans together about what we shall do when we get into a college. Really, you are a dawg! I am now so damn pissed off that you didn't invite me to your budday party this time also. When I'll die na, I'll give you good kick in the ass up there! 6 months just vapourised like anything. It seems it was just yesterday when I talked to you. And you know the most hilarious part of all your dying episode- I met shefali outside the institute. She was in tears and must have completely lost your mind, That's why she said this"agar mayank accident se marta to fir bhi acceptable tha, but aise hi mar gaya. bina kisi wajah ke. From just a concussion." I didn't know how to react. She had made up her mind for your death sentence too! I am in a great awe for such great people that exist in this world ! Chal bhai, now I shall return back to my schedule, I am lagging in it yet again. Pray for me that I get through this time and enjoy your life up there. I shall keep you posted. You know where to see!


  1. Omg! I have no words to say.. I am sure he's in peace.
    Heart touching..Well written!

    1. Sure he is. After all he has taken away my peace with himself ! And I must appreciate you that you took the pain to read whole of this post.

      And please, please why don't you have 'subscribe you by email' option on your blog? *desperate luk*

    2. I liked how you unmolded things in your blog. And your blog refreshes my college memories so..

      Subscribe by email button is on my blog now. Thanks!

  2. I could feel the words as a read it...
    But it takes courage to write out such things...i wish ur friend may find rest in peace..

    1. Na, not for me... I am really heartless,cruel and a stone when it comes to deaths or illnesses ! So I just blast out when anybody gets too emotional about it.

  3. I felt like I was punched in the gut half way through the post. Sure he will be in peace now, wherever he may be. Atleast for having a friend like you.